I adore my kids like nothing else (despite how it may sound on here, I am actually quite fond if them), but I spend every waking minute with them, and just need some time out. I can't see the logic in paying good money to go on holiday and not actually have any rest and relaxation.
We go to Bali a lot, and not solely for the cheap shopping and the cocktails. Tinah is our gorgeous 5-foot-nothing Indonesian Nanny who speaks broken English (at best). When I say she is 5-foot-nothing, that is probably being generous. Miss5 is catching up to her, and will probably be towering over her by the time she is a Miss8.
I don't book a holiday without first booking Tinah. And sure it would be nice to go somewhere different, but Tinah is in Bali and therefore that's where I'm going for as long as my kids require parental care and upkeep. As soon as they're all 18+ we're hitting Vegas.
Tinah comes in every afternoon after we've done the family activities and takes over. She literally "shoo's" us away. The twins adore Tinah. If there was a parental election, Tinah would win in a landslide, despite my lobbying, bribery and superior campaign funding.
Miss5 is now old enough to stay with us, and is currently learning the scared family ritual, solemnly passed on from generation to generation by the women folk in my family - Shopping and the intricate art of bartering and sourcing a bargain.
Twins : happy the lovely lady with the beautiful smile and endless patience who sings to them and plays with them has taken them back to their air-conditioned haven.
Hubby : happy, child-free, able to sit in the pool all arvo, or go find a bar showing whatever critically important sporting match he is missing at home.
Miss5 : deliriously happy to have the attention to herself without the twins around
Me : same as hubby except for the bit about the sport, replace that with shopping and Mojito's
Hubby isn't being nagged to death, there are no negotiations on who should have to bath the kids. No screaming and whining, no snotty noses to wipe, or futile attempts to find a decent baby change room while dragging the kids around sight-seeing. No hissed threats at misbehaving hot and bothered kids through gritted teeth. Everyone is happy. Quality, relaxed family time had by all between the hours of 8am and 2pm.
If I thought there was any chance I could pass Tinah off as the Hubby at Immigration and passport control, I would bring her home instead.
Did I mention that, thanks to the fabulous exchange rate, Tinah costs us the grand sum of around $28 a day?
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