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Monday, October 25, 2010

Toilet humour

What is it with kids and toilets?  They're not old enough to know the germ factor and how it horrifies their parents.  For my kids I think it must be genetic.

Miss5 was a Miss4 when she threw two of my good quality (but old models - so a bit of a thank you on the side to her for helping them to their graves) working mobile phones into the toilet.  The first one to see if it would flush.  Then almost 6 months later, the second one...wait for it could talk to the other one...seriously, that is the straight-faced explanation I received.

And now we come to Miss2 and Mstr2.  Miss2 has had an ongoing fascination with the toilet bowl for a few weeks now, and as a result, we have been going through roughly twice as much toilet paper as normal - and not due to toilet training - but because we are forever fishing full, bloated, sopping wet rolls out of the bowl.  I tried to flush it down the first time this happened, and my eyes nearly bulged out of my head in terror when the water level kept rising, and I realised I had my good sandals on and I couldn't bear to lose them to a torrent of overflowing toilet water and wet toilet paper (giant toilet spit ball anyone?).  Thankfully the shoe-gods intervened and the blocked bowl stopped a couple of centimetres short of overflowing.  Extra thankful we have a second toilet, as I had to ban everyone from using the first one until hubby got home to de-clog it.  Not my area...I already spend my days dealing with toilet-ish issues in the form of nappies.

Mstr2 is easily led by his twin sister, except I think he has the smarts in this case - because after dinner the other night I found his broccoli floating in the bowl.  I couldn't tell him off because I was so impressed with the cunning of this almost-2yr old...and kicking myself for not thinking of it when I was younger.

So we come to last night....I am upstairs with Miss5 arguing over bed time (surprise, surprise).  Hubby is downstairs with the twins.  I hear an almighty thud, followed by a groaning "oh crap" from hubby.  I rush downstairs in panic (well, when my TV show went to an ad break) to see hubby's legs sticking out from the laundry. The floor (tiled, thankfully) is covered in water.  Miss2 and her pyjama's are dripping wet from the elbows down.  She looks at her father sprawled on the floor, looks at me, and without missing a beat points to her poor brother Mstr2 and says "bad...bad...".  Another cunning child in the making.  Seems she can't get enough of that toilet, and has been scooping the water out by hand (all over the floor, where hubby slipped).

Needless to say I have disinfected the child, the adult, the floor, the toilet, the clothing - and anything else that may or may not have come into contact with the toilet water.  I say bring back outside toilets....

It's not enough that you lose private bathroom privileges once you have kids.  I live for the day that I can go to the bathroom, shut the door, sit down and do my thing without 1, 2 or 3 kids bursting in the door to ask me what I'm doing.....because there is a big range of answers to that question, apparently?  (Well, with my kids there is anyway...)

And to finish this off.... I received a joke on email yesterday that ties in nicely with this topic.....

A father is looking after his 3yr old daughter for the day.  He sits down to read the paper, and notices his daughter with her tea set.  She starts bringing him cups of tea with much fuss and formality.  He thinks this is adorable, so happily drinks the tea (water) and tells her how lovely it is, that she makes the best tea he has ever tasted.  This encourages her, and so the day goes that she continues to bring him tea.

When his wife gets home he can't wait to show her what he and their daughter have spent the day doing.  And so off his daughter trots and brings him back another cup of tea, which he drinks with the same compliments and fuss as he has done all day.  His wife smiles, then smirks, and says to her husband "she is 3...she is short....where do you think she's getting the water from?"

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