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Saturday, October 23, 2010

Welcome...leave your conservative parenting opinions at the door

Welcome everyone (or anyone, since everyone could be a tad optimistic!)


A bit about me....


I have two life skills.  The first being my sarcasm - which can be more of a hinderance than a blessing at times.  I also speak before I think, which is not a great thing when you are as sarcastic as I am.


My second life skill is exceptionally fast typing.  I mean REALLY fast.  The benefit of which is that I can bang out enormous emails in all of 5 minutes, which has become a bit tiresome for my beloved family and friends who are only after a simple "Yes/No" answer to a question - not a "War and Peace" length essay.  As I have a conversation in my head, I type it that quickly.  (Point in case right here...)  So in conclusion - if you're ever in a life threatening crisis situation and you need an SOS message typed out really fast...I'm your girl.  Otherwise...I've got nothing (except - no doubt - a few inappropriate, dry, sarcastic comments regarding said crisis).


I am a stay at home Mum (or Mom for my American buddies) to three kids.



About them....


Miss5 who likes to think she is 25 - but don't they all at her age.  She has recently advised me that she would like to be a Supermodel when she grows up...but without clothes.  WHAT?!?!  I don't have the heart to tell her that - at the grand old age of 5 - she is possibly already too "big" for your standard toothpick sized supermodel.  She is my shopping buddy in training, and although she has zero interest in reading and fairytales, she can pick out any company logo in the world, and would cut your arm off to get to the Target catalogue first.


Then there's the twins.  We'll call them 2 since they nearly are.


Miss2 should probably be a Mstr.  She's the roughest, toughest kid I've ever met.  Reminds me of myself.  She will eat anything in sight, with a particular love of cat biscuits.  Also loves climbing onto and then launching herself off of anything remotely high, sharp, slippery or generally dangerous.  She loves rock music, and is often found yelling her head off and half walking - half stalking in a small circle in the middle of the living room listening to the radio.  This is one kid even I wouldn't want to come across in a dark alley.  When she wants her dummy...you give it to her...


Mstr2 who should really be a Miss.  He's a bit sensitive (that's the nice way of putting it).  Has a screach that could shatter glass, and uses it hourly.  I'm hoping in my motherly-denial way that he will grow out of the flash temper tantrums that hit without warning over absolutely nothing.  I mean NOTHING.  The kid will be standing by himself in an empty room and will turn to the wall and start screaming at it.  He is deathly pale, with white blonde hair and bright blue eyes - and when he has a tantrum his entire head glows red, and you can see it beneath his hair.  He's like an angry red balloon with blue eyes.  God love him, I think he even wins some of the arguments with the walls.


So rather than putting my nearest and dearest into a comatose state by emailing them to vent and advise of all the wonderous (horrific) things my kids are doing on a day to day basis - I thought I'd just put it out there into the world via a self indulgent blog.  If nobody reads it, I won't cry (much), because at least I'm getting my therapy of voicing my thoughts and experiences.  If people read it and can see the humour in it that is generally intended by most things I say, then fantastic, enjoy.

2 comments:

  1. Finally - she blogs...

    Loved it..Loved it so much I tried to post a comment and 'it' wouldn't let me. Kept saying that their were illegal symbols in the url (don't ask moi).


    So ..


    this is what I wrote if you can post it..


    Love your work( insert air kiss air kiss). You are one very funny Mummy. I'm assuming that Jesus or Mary MacKillop or whatever hindu love god you subscribe to, had the attitude that you needed to divide to conquer, and thats how your twins were born, cause I can't imagine the red balloon and the cat food eater under one genetic umbrella. Thanks for taking the time to wipe away the avocado from your laptop and locking yourself in the toilet to type. Pete

    ReplyDelete
  2. Finally - she blogs...

    Loved it..Loved it so much I tried to post a comment and 'it' wouldn't let me. Kept saying that their were illegal symbols in the url (don't ask moi).


    So ..


    this is what I wrote if you can post it..


    Love your work( insert air kiss air kiss). You are one very funny Mummy. I'm assuming that Jesus or Mary MacKillop or whatever hindu love god you subscribe to, had the attitude that you needed to divide to conquer, and thats how your twins were born, cause I can't imagine the red balloon and the cat food eater under one genetic umbrella. Thanks for taking the time to wipe away the avocado from your laptop and locking yourself in the toilet to type. Pete

    ReplyDelete

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