Overheard at the local park the other week....
I'm sitting on a bench, passively ignoring my lot who are enjoying the enclosed play area (I'm detailing the fact that it is enclosed, so you don't think less of my mothering skills for passively ignoring them).
Sitting on the next bench are 3 "Alpha Mothers". These are the Mothers who look like they're about to either:
a) go to war (camouflage clad to the extreme);
or
b) compete in some fashionable Olympic event (fashionable because their entire outfit is faux effortlessly co-ordinated; Olympic event because it's one of those sprayed-on lycra ensembles with impossibly white sneakers and pulled back hair).
I'm sure they won't mind me going over their conversation on the world wide web, since they weren't attempting to keep it private at the time. They were so loud talking over the top of one another that they almost drowned out my kids...almost.
Alpha2 made all the right supportive "hmm...yes..." noises for all of 5 seconds before launching into her own parental woes. Seems her own son has similar educational issues. Alpha2 is married to a Dentist...as she's managed to squeeze into the conversation 4 times since I actively started keeping a tally. Their Number 1 son has shown such an interest in Daddy's work, that Alpha2 would like to see an educational pathway towards Dentistry. Which doesn't sound completely over the top, until you realise she is talking about early Primary education...not High school...not leading in to University...
By now I'm scanning the playground for these child geniuses (what do you call a group of child geniuses...a genii?), half considering asking for an autograph and recipe tips from Alpha 3's prodigies, booking an early appointment for a scale and clean with Alpha 2's boy (since it is so impossible to get in to see a Dentist these days), and commissioning a piece of artwork from the as-yet-unknown artistic talent that is Alpha 1's daughter, in the hope that I will make squillions from it when she is finally discovered.
Alpha 3's Michelin star Chef's in the making had been - ironically enough - making mud pies in the sand pit.
Four very normal looking children approached. THEY ARE EACH APPROXIMATELY 4 YEARS OF AGE!
No, I'm not just panicking about my pole dancer - come - supermodel without clothes.
I just thought it was worth an eye-rolling laugh, because I'm sure we all know Alpha Mothers of some sort - be it at school, play group, mothers group, or just in general.
A noteworthy point to finish on here : Un-Alpha Mother me would like to report that my offspring were doing the following at the playground on this day -
Miss5 swinging on a swing (totally co-ordinated, which is a plus for someone with my genetic make up) therefore she must be a trapeze artist or world champion gymnast in the making.
Mstr2 was eating sand in the sandpit, rather closely to the future Chef's, so he is potentially going to become Australia's most renowned and discerning food critic.
Miss2 was holding court yelling and stalking around the slide, with a group of 3 loyal followers. Total Politician in the making...the good kind, not the dodgy and much hated kind, naturally.
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