Miss5 is great friends with a set of twin boys her age who she has known for all of her 5 years. I spend a lot of time mentally preparing for her arranged marriage with either one of the boys. I adore the boys and their parents - they are a great family who we really enjoy spending time with. So you can see how the next logical step is to dream up the marriage of two 5yr olds.
Miss5 was super excited to receive an invitation to their birthday party. So excited she asked me every single day since receiving the invitation "is it the party today?". In the morning AND at night - just in case it had been rescheduled since the morning. After two weeks or saying "not yet", we were both ecstatic when the day of the party finally arrived and I could say "yes, for crying out loud, yes! It is today!".
She then started asking if it was time to go to the party yet. Continuously. From 6am. Shame she doesn't apply the same enthusiasm to putting her shoes on the right feet.
We arrive at the party. To end this on a happy note would be to end it right here.
At some point between getting out of the car and going into the venue, Miss5 has gone from happy go lucky little girl, to...well, this is actually a first for me - I am lost for an adequately sarcastic way to describe exactly how thunderous her mood was.
There are only 4 or 5 other kids there at this point, and Miss5 knows all but one of them. Miss5 grunts at her future husband/s by way of a "happy birthday" and shoves their presents at them. She gives a nasal whine when another child dares say hello to her. A parent asks how she is and she half whimpers, with a pained expression reminiscient of Brooke from 'Days of Our Lives'.
More kids arrive, the party games start, and all the kids are having a fantastic time. Except Miss5. There is laughter, screaming and hollering from deliriously happy kids. There is a slight whiny noise and pained expression from Miss5. There are kids playing tennis and running around playing games dodging tennis balls. Miss5 is in the corner dodging all human contact. There is a newborn baby in attendance who is more engaging in its sleep than Miss5 is.
On a positive note, my other 2 offspring are representing the family superbly. Miss2 and Mstr2 are haivng a ball. Mstr2 hasn't gone into a rage, no walls have been subjected to one of his tirades. He is...dare I say it...just like the other deliriously happy and giggly kids. Miss2 is stalking around on the grass yelling at random leaves blowing around, and then cackling insanely to herself (the kind of cackle you'd expect to hear from an evil villian plotting to take over the world...which is totally possible with her).
EVERY SINGLE PERSON is having a ball EXCEPT Miss5.
Other parents have given up trying to talk to her. Her father has given up trying to get her to join in. Having run into an old school friend, he's now onto beer and reminiscing, with the odd dash to rescue a twin from the tool shed (told you he was the Alpha parent - I would've just left them to mow the lawn). I am now down to hissing threats at her through clenched teeth - so I give off the appearance of motherly concern and caring to any other parents watching, while telling Miss5 I'm taking away her My Little Pony AND collection of business cards when we get home. It is the business card collection that gets her fretting the most.
Miss5 flounces herself off of the bench only to eat. By this point I'm feeding her anything red and sugary in the hope of inducing a sugar high that will fool her into joy and participation.
While focussing on threatening Miss5, and with Hubby distracted by stories of days when he had hair (ha! I'll pay for that one when he reads this, but it was totally worth it), I am now relying on the kindness of other mothers to supervise Miss2 and Mstr2 who are happily exploring the party venue unsupervised. At one point I find Miss2 eating something I am sincerely hoping was melted chocolate (and don't fret, it probably was...). Mstr2 was, well, doing whatever he wanted - I didn't care so long as he was happy and not screeching at nothingness.
I'm now on the other side of the table, with the rest of the party, doing my best to distance myself from Miss5. I figure I can just blend in and pretend I only bought the happy 2yr old twins, and have no association with the cloud of doom in the corner.
It's just my luck - Mstr2 finally decides to happy-up, and it's been a record-breaking few hours without a temper tantrum. Miss2 isn't trying to rule the world via fear and intimidation (just the leaves blowing on the grass). Two of my kids appear to be (fairly) normal and (fairly) well adjusted. It is now that Miss5's inner Miss25 doesn't want to come to the fore, and instead she is regressing back to a Miss1.5
I'm looking forward to the day I can take all 3 of my kids out in public and not have to apologise and explain away their behaviour.
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