Me vs. Vegetables. I'm going in...

I've mentioned before how my kids are discovering different uses for food.  Like Mstr2 shoving it in every available orifice.  Or Miss2 with her preference for cat biscuits.  Miss5 likes to use hers for anything but eating.

Lately my kids have become colour discriminatory with their culinary preferences.  They don't eat green anymore.  Apparently.  I say apparently, because I have only discovered this upon lifting up the rug on the toy room floor to find an army of peas lined up.  They were preparing for battle with the row of broccoli that was under the toy box.  It looked like a green vegetable standoff, as they have all been lined up perfectly.  Typical that my kids manage to be neat and uniform in hiding their vegetables, not in any other remotely useful aspect of their life.

After making this discovery a few days ago, I decided it was best to actually pay attention at meal times, rather than leaving the room for 5 minutes peace while they're busy eating.  I loaded up on the good stuff (the greens) and watched from the kitchen where they couldn't see me.  Here's how it went...

Miss5 looks around to make sure her parents aren't watching.

Miss2 also looks around - while she is only a Miss2, she is alarmingly cunning for her age, and I have no doubt she wasn't just copying her sister, she was most likely the instigator who hatched the plan.

Mstr2 shovels meatballs off their plates and onto his while they're not looking.  Atta boy, load up on the muscle building protein.

Miss5 takes her peas, one at a time, and shoves them between the glass top and the wrought iron frame of the dining table (the frame is green, conveniently for her).

Miss2 cackles evilly and nearly falls off her chair.  Mstr2 cracks up at Miss2's near miss (admittedly, I do too - silently and stealthly from the kitchen).  Half-chewed meatball sprayed over the table around him.

Miss2 scoops up the half-chewed meatball of Mstr2's and puts it in her own mouth.  Probably grateful she doesn't have to do the hard work chewing for herself.

Miss5 encourages her siblings to join in with the vegetable liberation.  Crafty, then she won't have to wear the blame on her own.

Miss2 takes her peas over to the TV cabinet and pours them in with the DVD collection.  She then snatches Mstr2's and puts his in the magazine rack.

I think they are mistakenly mixing dinner time up with the annual Easter egg hunt?

Miss5 gags at even touching the brocolli.  Drama queen...  

Miss2 snatches everyone's brocolli and stalks off (seriously, stalking, not walking).  She starts to eat it - because she actually likes it - and Mstr2 comes screaching over and shovels some in his mouth - yes, even he likes it.  Miss5 joins them to intervene, totally disgusted at their behaviour, and in her big sisterly way, teaches them how to insert the brocolli under each of the lounge cushions.  They decide this looks like more fun than eating it, so they join in - including the chewed up pulpy brocolli from their mouths.

Now we're down to carott and potato, I figure I'm safe because neither are green.  So off I go, upstairs to tell Hubby about this.

As a result, we're now supervising every meal (like proper parents probably do anyway).  Which is for the best, since last night I found out the hard way that they weren't only discriminating against green vegetables.

On cleaning up the toy room before bed last night, I found, shoved at the bottom of the toy box, in a cunningly careless "nothing to see here, just a random toy tossed in the toy box...walk away..." kind of way, is their plastic pink kitchen toy set.  There is mashed potato in the fry pan.  Carrot in the microwave.  Something, I have no idea what it was but has since turned green, in the tea set.

Today, I'm going in.  I'm getting the strongest, thickest rubber gloves on the market, a whole lot of disinfectant - and going through the toy room.  I'm slightly terrified, my own gag reflex isn't 100%.  Any more of the unidentified substance that has since turned green (like was found in the tea set) and it could be a vomit-bath.

As for my supposedly vege-loving kids, I am now back to covertly hiding the greens in their meals.  At least until this phase is over (and it is just a phase...that's my mantra anyway).

Now I'm off to make them a lovely breakfast smoothie - complete with brocolli and carrot.  Yum.