Any of you who follow Me on Twitter will know of my recent few (many) rantings re: Miss5 commencing full time schooling - or should I say, ALLEGED full time schooling. Because we are currently in the seemingly endless phase-in period.
Miss5's school, like many others, phases in their Pre Primary newbies at the colossal rate of 2.25hrs a day - which they equate to being a HALF DAY. I am sincerely hoping that the genius who equated 2.25hrs to being a half day is not in charge of the Maths department. Even self-diagnosed sometime dyslexic Me can work that one out.
I understand the need to phase in full-time schooling, I really do - but these kids went to Kindergarten last year, so you would think that 2 weeks of "half days" is time enough for them to get used to it. Not FOUR WEEKS.
So I've spent the past 2 weeks ranting and raving about how crap it is - for me, as the mother who has to pile the twins up in the car with enough crap to keep them silent and occupied while I do the school run. Get Miss5 up in the morning early enough for school, force feed her a nutritious but speedy breakfast (thank you Uncle Toby's for the mother of all semi-healthy inventions - the muesli bar), argue/fight/beg/bribe/cram her into her school uniform - likewise with the teeth brushing and the hair brushing and putting up (which is no easy feat when she is insistent on the DIY mullet hairdo that does not go up into one simple ponytail).
Imagine my delight at having to go through this on a daily basis, 5 times a week - for a whopping great 2.25hrs worth of schooling. Which then requires me to find some other interesting/distracting/edible object to keep the twins occupied and silent once again, when I go to pick Miss5 up from school. After 2.25 flipping hours.
I am exhausted by writing about it - let alone doing it every day. Being that I am only 7 days in to this schedule, I hold grave fears for my long term suitability as a mother of school aged children - with approximately 3,400 days of this schedule remaining (ever the optimist, I'm planning on seeing it through to High School graduation for all 3 kids - after that, they're on their own). I've already Googled a countdown timer...
So imagine my embarrassment when I show up at school today, grumbling as always about the crappy bloody 2.25hrs of educational wisdom being passed on to Miss5 for another day, and another 2 weeks still to come - when the other parents looked at me and said "you do realise it's a full day today, right?", as they looked down at the carrot sticks and water I'm toting as Miss5's snack. No lying my way out of that one when there's no sandwich or other suitable lunchtime sustenance in sight.
Quick air-kiss goodbye to Miss5 who is standing at the top of the slide ensuring nobody can go down, and speed home at the responsible school-zone speed limit to slap together a good old polony and sauce sandwich to return to school with for her lunch.
While I am giddy at the prospect of not having to go back to school until this afternoon (for the THIRD time today), I'm not getting ahead of myself - it is only one day. Back to the infamous HALF day tomorrow. Then the same next week - except they tease us a little more with the full day full time schooling thing by giving us TWO WHOLE DAYS next week. Thursday AND Friday. I can hardly wait. I'm about as excited for those days as I am for my next holiday. Then there is another week of the same.
Then...finally...when we are about half way through the school term - we will hit the mother load, the full week. Sincerely hoping I remember to, not only pack lunch, but also front up every day by that stage (again - Twitter peeps will know what I'm talking about there - as I also forgot about the DAILY part of schooling this year, and nearly missed day 2 if it wasn't for Miss5 insisting that she does in fact go to school every day now).
There is a good chance the phasing in of full time schooling is actually intended to aid dodgy parents like myself - help us get into the routine of taking our child to school EVERY day, and remembering to send adequate sustenance for them EVERY day. At this stage I am grateful we don't get graded like our kids - because so far I am an epic FAIL at parenting a school aged child.
But not to worry, I have approximately 3,400 more days to perfect it.