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Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Mother Storage

Miss2 has started stuffing anything and everything in my bra.

While I'm wearing it.

Often in public.

She pulls down my top - because all my tops are elasticised cotton and loose fitting - so when I say she pulls down my top, she really does a good job of it, thanks to the extra stretchy and loose material.  You can almost see the elastic of my kidney-hugging, Mummy-tummy shaping underpants.  If I'm wearing them.  Or my kidney-hugging granny knickers.  Slight exaggeration perhaps, but what you most definitely won't see is my Britney bits, or my dental floss.

It's lucky I have good / nice bra's in comparison to my old / dodgy clothing.

I need to get Miss2 one of these

Since Miss2 started using my bra as her personal storage device, I have accommodated the following items:

  • Mobile phones (plural) - every old, broken mobile phone we own has gone down there at one time.  Often, at the same time.
  • Toothbrush.  Electric, just for a bit of fun.
  • Barbie's head.  Miss2, the toy tyrant, likes to behead and dismember her toys, and Barbie is usually one of the first casualties.
  • Toast. Both pre and post mastication.
  • Spoon with yoghurt all over it
  • Slushie drink : Full
  • Slushie drink : Half full (because I'm a glass half full kinda girl.  And cause I stupidly gave her another one after she gave my boobs frost bite with the first ice avalanche).
  • Chicken nuggets.  Thank you MacDonalds for having the softest nuggets of all the takeaway restaurants  ( that I refer to Macca's as a totally Mum of me - when they get a bit older, it'll be Sizzler).
  • Sand from the sandpit
  • Keys, some not mine - which is a tad embarrassing to have to fish them out and return them to a red faced middle aged man at a playground.  And a total gross out for my brother when they're his.
  • Lego.  Not that she wants it, she just doesn't want her brother to have it.

And the list goes on.  And on.  And on.

At some point Miss2 has sized me up, assessing all crevices, lumpy bits, nooks and crannies for storage options - and come up with my bra as her first choice.

I'm wondering if I should charge her rent?  I work for a storage company, so I'm pretty up with the going rate per square metre of storage space.  I reckon she's good for at least $80 a month.  Which, while not a huge amount, would certainly fund my wine and vodka on an average month.

And I may need to trawl the aisles of Ikea looking for a flat packed DIY retractable shelving system on nice rolling casters. 

I may have to start walking around with one of these.
Wonder if Ikea have them in a neutral tone that will go with my bag and shoes?


  1. I have that pink bra bag. It's called a bra(g). Awesome for tshirt bras so they don't get crushed. My lovely bras sit in there now doing nothing while I wear the daggy maternity bras.

    My mum's friend carries EVERYTHING in her bra, without that little gadget and I always wonder how she doesn't stuff down between her ample bossoms.

  2. BAHAHAHAHAHA.... where did you find that Storage Cleavage thingie? did you just google it and it came out? TOO FUNNY!

  3. My own Miss (almost) 2 has started doing this to me too! When she's not telling the checkout chick "boobies" during our weekly shop (cringe! cringe!)

  4. Cleavage Caddy hey, now we just need a Clam Caddy and that's a set!

  5. OMG I love you. What a classic! Bahaha...wonder if I did a Google image search on that one, what would come up....

  6. Oh I remember that with my oldest. She would shout it at the top of her lungs. I trained her to point at her father when she did it, as a running joke that he was losing his 'buffed' upper body, and turning into a mid 30's guy with 'man boobs'. Hilarious. For me, at least.

  7. Yes indeed. What a classic huh? Couldn't believe how perfectly it fitted in with the story!

  8. OMG, it's real?! T shirt bras getting crushed? *Scratches head* I don't even iron my clothes, buggered if I'd get worried about a bra getting crushed, bahaha. The only up-side to losing weight is the extra room in my bra for all those goodies (yeah...I know...pretty lame 'up side').


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