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Monday, June 27, 2011

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 5



This post is dedicated to idiotic post-genius-invention inventions.

Sound confusing?  Not nearly as much as these items.  But, let me explain.

You know how awesome Post It Notes are, right?  Well I’m talking about the kind of items that came after the genius items.  So, it would be something like an idiot creating a tiny piece of blackboard the size of a post it note, with double sided sticky tape on the back, so you could attach it to a small patch of wall where you won’t miss it, and use the tiny piece of chalk attached by string to write yourself important reminders and notes.

Then you simply wipe off the note with the tiny duster, also attached by a piece of string.  When you leave the room, you can simply pull it off the wall and take it with you to attach at your next destination.

Stupidly stupid, right?  Because I took the genius creation in the Post It Note, and tried to make it better.  Only I failed spectacularly.

Here’s some more examples of idiotic post-genius-invention inventions.

Easy-Fit Door Privacy Curtain  $39.90

I’m not totally digging the classy vibe of this one.  Call me crazy, but I prefer to use an actual door if I want to obtain privacy from a doorway.

Also, with the green and white stripes running down it, this item makes me think I’m walking into my local corner store, circa 1980.

In all fairness to the product, it states that “it’s an affordable way to stay comfortably cool” – so, you know, it may have a use.  Except, again, I’m sorry to poo-poo on their parade, but I like to use a regular, standard type flyscreen door to let the breeze in through my house.


Home Care Horror Rating  :  3/5

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Walk Through Door Curtain  $34.90
Same as the previous item, only extra tacky because it has a gross pattern on it that belongs on 1970’s jacquard furniture coverings.  Fail.

Home Care Horror Rating  :  4/5

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Insect Screen for any doorway  $17.90


Their online pic cut off half the image.  This grainy shot is from the magazine, so you can truly capture the essence of floaty flyscreen.  Romantic, right?


Nothing says stylishly making an entrance (or exit) like fighting your way through a giant piece of flyscreen netting minus the door frame that normally sees it sitting tight and taught and easy to push open and closed.

Also, having the opening in the middle means there will inevitably be a gap where the flies – far superior in intellect to the creator of this item – will all form a straight line and line dance their way in to your home.

Guess what?  They also make these for windows.

Really not sure how someone could look at a regular fly screen door or window, and decide that this was way cooler.  That anyone would ever buy these.  Have you ever seen how crusty and dusty your fly screen’s can get?  Imagine face-planting that when you try and claw your way through. Ewww.

They were so confident of the popularity of this item that they featured it twice.  Either that or they thought that if they’d missed any stupid people at Page 3, they’d have a second chance to get them at Page 67.

Home Care Horror Rating  :  5/5
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Window Privacy Film  $14.90

Firstly, immature snorts abound from my mouth as I found this item on page 69.

This product is touted as being your means to “avoid the hassle and expense of having curtains or blinds installed with this great alternative”.  Wowness.  They are so thoughtful.  If you were the type of person to buy this product, I would recommend you use the money you save on curtains and blinds to pay for therapy and medication.  Clearly, you need it.

Curtains and blinds have remained successful across the globe since their inception for a reason.

I’m a tad disappointed it is holographic material.  From the image it looked like bubble wrap style pockets of air.  I would’ve considered buying it to adhere to the kids whenever they wage war on each other and leap off the furniture if it had been filled with cushioning bubbles of air.  Kind of like DIY air-bags for your kids.  Oh well…back to the drawing board for this inventor.

Home Care Horror Rating  :  5/5

3 comments:

  1. Ooh, I'm going to have to disagree today - because I have actually bought the floaty drapey flyscreen!

    I can totally see why a proper, solid flyscreen is infinitely superior, but in a house which is going to be demolished anyway, I'm not going to spend lotsa money in order to sit at home for 5 hours and wait for a tradesman who may or may not actually arrive. So cheap-arse temporary job it was. 

    I think we had it up for one summer, got frustrated by the number of times the dog got tangled up in it, and then took it down. The best anti-fly device will always be the fly gun from Australian Geographic - hours of fun!

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  2. I would've totally stolen you a proper flyscreen door from some abandoned house in a dodgy suburb.  Because even those suburbs have real flyscreen doors.

    I LOVE the fly gun!  Got the family one each a couple of Christmases ago.  Genius.  Well,, it would've been, had we not spent the entire holiday trying to shoot each other instead of the flies.

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  3. I was very encouraged to find this site. I wanted to thank you for this special read. I definitely savored every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post.

    ReplyDelete

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