Yesterday I went shopping with a friend - a D.I.N.K (Double Income No Kids) friend. I had managed to offload the kids for a couple of hours, so we figured we'd make the most of it by catching up while shopping.
First we went through the clothing boutiques (also known as Target and K Mart), where she flicked through racks and grabbed whatever took her fancy.
I looked at the childrens' bargain bins in the middle of the aisle, where everything was tossed in a great heap as frenzied budget buyers rifled through to find the mega bargain before someone else nabbed it.
She ended up with an arm full of clothing.
I ended up putting back everything I'd picked out, as I gradually talked myself out of needing any of it more than the family needed food.
Except for shoes. Shoes are sustenance for the heart, right?
Then we went to the supermarket.
I totally out-shopped her. So much so, that I had to use her trolley as well as my own.
She bought expensive free-range, grain-fed, eco-friendly, organic everything. In fancy packaging that probably killed the minimal environmental footprint the manufacturer was going for with the whole tree-hugger style of food they were spruiking.
I bought in bulk. Everything. Toiletries, nappies, baby food, meat, lady products, tinned food. Everything.
She was totally disgusted by this, vowing never to ever get to the stage in her life where she had to swap Fillet steak for Five Bean mix.
So I asked if she was saying that she's decided not to have kids?
Of course not, she says. She's just not going to change her lifestyle one bit once she has them. She's going to live exactly the kind of lifestyle that she enjoys right now.
BAHAHAHAHA.....*ladylike snort* *ladylike snort* BAHAHAHAHA...
To quote my exact reaction.
Then we went to the bottle shop.
She went for the bottled wine, and only perused the top shelf.
I went for the bargain bin and the cask wine section.
She bought two bottles, for the weekend.
I bought about 12 litres, for my sanity and survival.
Then I went back for Vodka, after realising I am in the midst of looking after the kids on my own for 2 weeks, while #1 Hubby is away at a work conference. I need all the support I can get.
She said I should be the poster child for birth control and planned pregnancy.
I said one ass cheek looked bigger than the other in the pants she was wearing.
Ba ha ha ha ha!ReplyDelete
Cask wine is like mummy nectar of the Gods!Be careful though - all that booze tends to lead to more babies! Lucky the hubs will be away LOL.
Lol, at least you know what to get her when she does have kids!!ReplyDelete
The ass cheek comment made me snort in a most unladylike fashion!ReplyDelete
I'm glad to have roughened you up around the edges ;-)ReplyDelete
A crate of cask wine?ReplyDelete
Shhh...don't jinx me!ReplyDelete
Wow, I would have made some sort of comment like the ass cheek comment too. I think we all have delusions to some extent of what life is going to be like after having children that are knocked out of us bit by bit.ReplyDelete