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Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Heartfelt Homecoming

So I arrived back from holiday in the wee early hours of yesterday morning.  Around 5am, to be precise.  Did you know people are actually awake and functioning at such an ungodly hour?  Madness…

Anywho, by the time I got home from the airport, the house was in full swing.  As opposed to any other day, when the kids would still be asleep (allowing me to slip home and into bed for a few hours of shut-eye before they wake).  But not this time.  This time, they are fully awake before 6am.  I haven't slept in over 24hrs by the time I get home.

As we all got out of the taxi, it was on.  The #1 Grandparents were shoving each other in an athletic manner that belied their *somewhat advanced* years, in order to squeeze past the cars in the driveway and get to the beloved grandkids first.

Ahem…hello…parent here.  I trump everyone else.

So as they were both clawing for the door, I squeeze in underneath (seriously…it was most refined and ladylike of me) and took all the glory and excitement for myself.

#1 Hubby is alive.  And that’s impressive and reassuring enough for me, after 2 weeks alone with the kids.  I avoided too much eye contact with him, as I didn't dare assess the extent of under-eye baggage he accumulated over the past 2 weeks.  Mostly, because I was sure it would have killed my post-holiday buzz and replaced it with guilt.  Which would have been totally selfish of him.

Miss5 was ricocheting from me to the grandparents, and occasionally off a wall, thanks to the severe lack of co-ordination she inherited from yours truly.  I have missed the shit out of her.  Something #1 Grandmother admonished me for telling her.  Probably because she replied with “I missed your shit too Mummy” in a squeaky and elated voice.

We are nothing if not poetic and eloquent.

The twin tornado weren't fussed.  Full stop.  They were all giggles and “Mummy Mummy Mummy”.  I went to speak, but was warned off by a severe “Uh uh!” from #1 Grandmother.  So instead I whispered into their hair as I smothered them in kisses and cuddles “Mummy missed the crap outta you two!”.  Typical Miss2 totally outed me, yelling “Crap crap crap!”.  Joined by Mstr2 in a more serene and loving “Yeah Mummy…crap”. 

I just want to squeeze the life out of these kids.

But they were a bit like "ok so you've had your standard morning cuddle, now buger off".  Seriously.  I put them to bed 2 weeks ago, and was gone when they woke up.  Now, 2 weeks later, I am here when they wake up - and you'd think I'd never been gone.  They were a bit perplexed by all the fuss, and just wanted breakfast.

And Miss5 had to go to school, and only wanted me to do her hair and make her lunch.

And so it was within an hour of walking in the door that I resumed my normal motherly type duties.

It's great to be back, but give me a week and I’m sure I’ll also resume my normal motherly type whining.

#1 Hubby looks more relieved and happy than I’ve ever seen him before.  More so even than that time I told him I was pregnant again, then waited 5 minutes before telling him I was only joking.

He has completely eclipsed me on the school parenting front.  Apart from showing up on time every day, and remembering every extra piece of equipment on the correct day (despite my detailed and extensive written notes leading him awry with incorrect days for library books and show and tell).  In 18 months of schooling, I've done the parental class assistance once.  Not that I am lazy or don't want to do it, it's just hard with the twins.  He was left in charge for 2 weeks and he did it once, and had planned to do it again but something came up.  He has equalled me in just 2 weeks.  I shall hang my head in shame when I go pick Miss5 up from school today.

Alarming realisation that, sure they're glad I'm home and I can resume my normal share of the workload - but - they all coped exceptionally well without me.  Dare I say, they flourished / prospered?


  1. I freaking love holdiays... after two days back with the kids, you need another holiday to recover ;)

  2. I am quite confident that Mr Fussy would not have survived without me in the house for 2 weeks and that the darlings would have figured out how to escape from the yard and seek refuge at grandma's house. Your hubby did well (even if he did try and show you up).

  3. He's still quite smug about his successful solo parenting.  I have to keep reminding him that it's what I do at least once a month when he goes away for work.  Before once again thanking him (just in case I get the chance for another solo holiday, I need to keep him compliant!)

  4. You are so right. Kind of like weekends - the parenting to child-free holiday ration should be the same.  5 days on, 2 days off.  Or perhaps more like long weekends - 4 days on, 3 days off.  I would totally ace the attentive and patient parenting role if I only had to do it for 4 days at a time.


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