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Monday, August 1, 2011

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 10



Miscellaneous craptastic crappy gadgets today.  Get your credit cards ready, because these things are just too good to refuse *cough*.

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Radio Controlled Forklift  $49.90
It worries me that I can think of quite a few males who would buy this.
 
Only, they'd be sending it back for a refund once they realised it was not capable of fetching and carrying their beer.  Maximum weight capacity on this bad boy : 1 marshmallow.

It does come with the plastic pallet and the cardboard crate, and 4 plastic cones.  So you can set up your own miniature warehouse from the comfort of your living room.  Please ensure you adhere to the maximum speed limit at all times.  And wear a hard hat.

Just one step closer to home-based employment, and without huge plant and equipment outlay.  Now to secure myself a consignment of marshmallows.
 
Home Care Horror Rating : 4/5
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Extra Long Scissors  $7.90
 
Miss5 would be crafting herself the mother of all mullet hairstyles with these bad boys.  And probably losing a few fingers, an ear and an eye.  Totally worth it in her opinion, but I'm not so sure.

I love that they think consumers are desperate to shave 5 seconds off their wrapping paper cutting time, by investing in these uber scissors.

Am I the only one who can see the glaringly obvious safety concerns with these?  I wonder how much it would cost to sharpen such an enormous pair of scissors?
 
Home Care Horror Rating : 4/5
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Magnetic Tool-holding Arm Band  $29.90
 
Testosterone inducing, no?
 
No.

I went to the experts with this one - tradesmen.  Mostly, they said it wouldn't possibly fit around their bulging biceps.  But, in amongst the delusional ego bullshitting, there were some moments of clarity, providing a general consensus that no serious tradesman (or home handyman) would be caught dead wearing one of these.
 
To quote "not unless you wore a matching skirt and heels".

Well said.
 
Home Care Horror Rating : 4/5
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Inflatable Mobile Phone Cover  $2.90

Please accept my most humble apologies for the crap image quality.  It would seem that the Home Care head honcho's have come to their senses and removed this item from their plentiful collection of mind boggling wares.  So I had to use the shoddy web cam to display proof that such an idiotic contraption exists.
 
I should be the last person criticising this concept.  My kids are addicted to tossing my mobile phone in the toilet, fish pond, bath and ocean.  Seriously.  I've been through more mobile phones than they've had birthday's.

However, I'm going to criticise anyway...

If you're tempted by this item, then you should take note that it is hazardous to your health.  Why?  Because, if you are that dazzled by this - your brain is seriously deprived of oxygen, and you couldn't possibly risk depriving it further by using your dangerously scarce oxygen to inflate this.

Now, go count your fingers and toes and make sure you have enough.  Or, too many.  Either way, there must be something wrong with you for yearning for such an item.

Home Care Horror Rating : 4/5

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