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Monday, September 5, 2011

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 15


Part 15.  I still can't believe one single catalogue afforded me so many sarcastic posts.  I seriously need to buy all the sale crap from this catalogue, and put it together in a snuggie, tied with a bow made from the toeless socks, and send it to the Home Care head honcho's as my own personal thank you gift and tribute.  Anonymously.

And on to part 2 of the final posts dedicated to fashion faux pas.

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Elbow and Knee Warmers  $9.90

Sneaky, sneaky, Home Care.  They only put the arm band pic online.  So the blurry webcam shot is to show you the catalogue pic of the fetching knee warmers too.  So you get the full effect.

I really should get me a set of these for my next 1980's theme party.  To be worn under my costume.

These are clearly designed for external use, as the images depict.  This worries me the most - that the assumption is that we are fashion-challenged enough to wear these at all, let alone on the outside.

They are designed to keep your joints warm.  Which they would indeed do - as you ran like mad to get away from the jeering masses, throwing rotten fruit and eggs at you for being so freaking stupid as to wear these on the outside, in public.

I am obviously far superior to this inventor, because I go straight for a full-fabric multi-purpose option when I'm looking to warm my frosty joints.  I'm talking LONG SLEEVED T-SHIRTS / SHIRTS / JUMPERS / JACKETS.  I'm talking LONG PANTS / JEANS.  I am a genius, no?

Home Care Horror Rating : 5/5
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All-Weather Reversible Cape  $49.90
My mother threatened to buy me one of these.  When I got all plucky and brave and said "Go ahead, I'll never wear it", her response was "Oh no, I'd be wearing it.  Every time we were seen together in public".  Evil genius.

All-weather, denoting its targeted use in windy, wet, blustery conditions, right?

Problem - it's a freaking poncho, it will lift up and lift off in windy, blustery conditions.
Problem - your arms are going to get wet unless you clamp them around your freezing midriff (freezing because you're relying on a poncho, flapping in the gale force winds, for your warmth and protection from the elements).

This would be best used as a tent or ground cover, in an all-weather sense.

Be warned, if you buy one of these, I will point and laugh.  Loudly.  You deserve it.

Home Care Horror Rating : 4/5
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Snuggle Blanket  $19.90
 Oh. My. God.  I freaking love these.  They should really only make them in leopard print, because if you're going to go Snuggie (or their patent-compliant Snuggle Blanket branding), you have to go hard.

Hear me roar, right?

Having hit winter here in Aus, and having dropped a lot of weight over the past year, I am finding myself with a lot less padding than previous winters.  I have to say, I can almost see the merit in a Snuggie.

Almost.

I'd hate to be mistaken for a cult member though.  That could be awkward.  So, instead, I shall persevere with other old fashioned body warming methods like clothing, heating, and regular blankets.

But if I ever join a cult, it will be one that supplies leopard print Snuggies as their uniform of choice.

Home Care Horror Rating : 5/5
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 PS - Mum, I'll see your all-weather cape, and raise you a leopard print Snuggie.  Game on.


3 comments:

  1. Can I join your leopard Snuggle wearing cult? We could walk through the local Galleria/Mall together and totally freak people out.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Definitely.  If we go after a few cocktails, we can even 'speak in tongues' to really freak the general public out.

    ReplyDelete

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