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Friday, October 14, 2011

Oh For Fucks Sake?! Friday*

FFS?! Friday is the brain child of Dear Baby G, who is awesome in so many ways, not the least of which is our shared love of Krispy Kreme donuts.
As she puts it, having a FFS?! Friday rant is cheaper than therapy (thereby saving money that can be spent Krispy Kremes. And wine and vodka).
Therapy in a box

Here’s my own personal FFS?! highlights from this week:

Miss5 became a Miss6.  That is all happening too quickly for me.  She’s old enough to dress, wash and groom herself.  She’s old enough to help tidy the house.  That’s good enough for me.  Now please stop growing before you realise that your mother is not the be all and end all of your universe, FFS.

It’s still school holidays here in WA.  I have to wrangle all 3 of my offspring at the same time, FFS.

Tied in to that, I got  completely shit-faced  slightly inebriated and had the mother of all hangovers - the one day of the week that #1Hubby had to go away for work, thereby requiring me to manage the feral threesome on my own for 48hrs, FFS.

Tied in to that, I made a bit of a tool of myself at the Movember launch party, and spent an embarassing and seriously weird amount of time apologising to Dennis Lillee and his family for all the people that must come up to him all the time when he's out...kinda exactly like I was doing at the time.  How embarassment, FFS.

Houses are being built next door and across the road.  Early morning banging, dust and debris, and work vehicles parked around and on the edge of my driveway all make me feel stabby.  Especially when the buffed, shirtless workmen stop to watch and smirk at my poorly driving skills as I require a 3 point turn to manoeuvre my way out of my own driveway, making me even more flustered and crap at driving than I already was, FFS.

I got 4 bills this week.  Why can’t they space them out?  Why do they have to gang up on me and arrive at the same time?  I’m going to select the utility that sends me the least junk mail, and calls me the least to offer extra crap services that I do not want or need – and that’s the bill I’m going to pay this week, FFS.

The shopping trolley was possessed.  Again.  And all 3 kids demanded to sit in it, thereby increasing my severe lean to the left load by at least 50Kg-55Kg, FFS.

Attached to the last item - all that extra pushing and pulling did absolutely nothing to reduce my tuckshop arm wingspan, FFS.

I ran out of wine, FFS.

I bought the wrong vodka, and I loathe the honey taste – that’s 1.25 Litres of Vodka that I am trying my best to fight the gag reflex and drink, but it’s not going well and I’m not enjoying it at all, FFS.

Okay I’m done.  For now.  But I may make this a weekly thing, because I like to whine, and any excuse to swear on the internet, right?

I encourage everyone to join in.

I’m saving a special spot next to me at the bar for DPCON12 (everything sounds cooler as an acronym, right?) for both Dear Baby G, as the brilliant mind who created FFS?! Friday, and also Sanity or Bust – for the best (or worst…depending how you look at it) FFS?! Friday post.

Another form of therapy in a box

*Sorry Mum, but that is the technical name of the link up, so I had to swear on the blog   again  for true literary accuracy.


  1. Bahaha! Bring on Le Cask! I feel sure that I will need it by DPCON12....Prepare for the another brilliantly eye gouging FFS post later today... sometimes I wonder if there is any POINT in trying to regain my sanity...

  2. I'm just letting mine take a leave of absence until all of my offspring are married off and ready to produce their own children - so I can then regain my marbles and start in with the old chestnust "I TOLD YOU SO!"

  3. Bugger about the Vodka. I can relate to lots on your list...what's with the non-spacing of bills! It's murphys law at its finest. Have a great weekend and thanks for stopping by my little blog earlier too.

  4. I hate that about the bills. Especially when the biggies come in - rates, regos - gah!

    I have two bored offspring. Roll on Monday.

  5. omg so funny .... I reckon DL would have raced home to read your blog after that!. Don't forget to add your link to the linky tool! Please tell me to bite the bullet and buy my DPCON12 ticket

  6. I like your new bill paying system, I think I might have to adopt that one.

  7. Which vodka has a honey taste - I NEED to know! Oh man, a three point turn out of your own driveway is WRONG! I'm sure Dennis Lillee is used to people apologising for weird amounts of time for people talking to him in public...

  8. Laney @ Crash Test MummyOctober 15, 2011 at 2:41 PM

    I hope you win my wine giveaway next Friday. That oughta reduce the FFS factor a bit! Unfortunately it is completely random, so you'll have to take your chances;)

    Ha ha! You bought 42 South Manuka flavor vodka didn't you? ;)

  9. I did the same thing with a bottle of brandy last week. Penny wise and pound foolish, I bought the bottle on sale and I don't think I can even cook with it the taste is so bad. FFS
    You are very good at finding therapy in a box....

  10. Murphy was a man.  A man without children. And he was a sadistic bugger.  I firmly believe this.

  11. I love how the Water Corporation manages to time ONE of their TWO 6 monthly water consumption bills directly after their mega expensive annual water rates. Like a big FU to customers

  12. Funnily enough, I don't think I mentioned my blog to him - you know, in amongst all that apologising - very wise, in hindsight.

    Have linked up. Can't wait for next week. Is it bad that it's only Saturday and I already ahve material for next week's FFS Friday?

    PS - Get your DPCON12 ticket!

  13. 42 South Mauka flavour.  It truly is NOT sweet honey flavouring like I expected.  It's a weird honey after taste.  Tell me you're in Perth?  If you are, you can have it!  There's almost a litre left, despite my best efforts to "soldier on" and drink it.

  14. Ohhh me too!  And I have the perfect wine bag to transport it in....bahaha, as if I'd be transporting it anywhere.  I would be hiding in my linen press, mainlining it, while the kids stormed the house looking for me.

  15. I hate that.  You think you're being financially responsible, and you end up paying for it. Perhaps you can give it to someone as a gift?

    I'm totally an expert with boxed therapy.


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