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Friday, December 23, 2011

FFS!? Friday : My 12 days of Christmas



On the first day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
School holidays plus 2 week Daycare Christmas closurrrre.  Enough said, FFS!?

On the second day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
A poorly #1Hubby capable of whining for Australiaaaa, FFS!?

On the third day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
A severely eczema clad Mstr2, scratching til he bleeds, repeatedlyyyyy.  FFS!?

On the forth day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
Wine spilt on the laptop...again...the new laptop that replaced the last one that wine was spilt onnnnnnn, FFS!?

(Totally not my fault, by the way.  The twins were lurking around my wine and went in for the kill/sip, and in their rush they knocked it over....see, I am blameless).


On the fifth day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
Mstr2 all Conjunctivitis eyeeees, FFS!?

Can you guess what's coming next?

On the sixth day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
Miss2 all Conjunctivitis eyeeees, FFS!?

Figures....

Also Miss6 constantly asking me what colour her tongue is...at least every 10 minutes...and until I come up with a creative answer or the right colour, she's going to keep asking, FFS!?

And no, pink is not the right answer, I've already tried it.  A number of times.  For Christmas, Santa should really forego the bike and just get her a hand-held mirror from the $2 shop, so she can whip it out and confirm what colour her own tongue is, without having to ask me all the time.

On the seventh day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
#1Hubby relapsing, more severely than the last time, now requiring genuine sympathyyyyyyyy, FFS!?

Which really pained me no end as I realised that perhaps it was slightly more than man-flu. Just slightly - let's not get all dramatic about it now.

On the eighth day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
All my missing parcel deliveries bar the one I really need, which is the all important wine bag for #1Nana's Christmas preseeeent, FFS!?


On the ninth day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
Power-spewing Miss2 (who's never vomited in her life). Only in bed. Only when she's got fresh clothing and sheeeeeets, FFS!?

On the tenth day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
In my backwards way of counting up til Christmas, that is today.  So far I've been gifted Miss2 eating an entire jar of kiddy multivitamins (freshly opened), and a half-full jar (because, despite all this shit, I'm still a glass half-full kind gal...) of kiddy Omega 3 Fish oil capsulessssss, FFS!?

She will surely glow in the dark tonight, and I'm tempted to stick her atop the Christmas tree.  If nothing else, I don't need to stress over her eating her vegetables for the next 3 months...

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
Tomorrow.  Based on the crap it's given me so far, I expect it will likely be a broken appliance or whitegood, or the car breaking down on the way to the #1Grandparents' house for Christmaaaas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the universe gave to me...
Who cares.  By this point I will be plastered on cheap cask wiiinnnneeeeee.

Ho, ho, freaking ho people...

After a hard day delivering gifts, Santa unwinds by partying like Britney, yo!


Disclaimer : I freaking love Christmas.  I am, in fact, dreaming of a White Christmas (followed by red, when the white runs out). I just stored up all my bah-humbug moments for this post.

Triple Ho's and festive festiveness to you all.  May the onset of Christmas see your wine glass full (or overflowing, preferably), presents wrapped, and domestic duties minimal.


3 comments:

  1. Oh heavens! May your glass overflow, but only into your mouth so as not to waste a drop!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You need a white and then red xmas for sure darl, sending well wishes for all the family Xo

    ReplyDelete
  3.  wanting to know what colour her tongue is?!  hilarious  :)

    ReplyDelete

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