School holidays suck.
School holidays plus Christmas plus the twin tornado celebrating a birthday all at the same time is the universe's way of laughing at my expense.
Speaking of expense...
Christmas presents x 3 kids plus birthday presents for the Twin Tornado all within 2 weeks of each other is enough to deplete my
wine slush fund emergency savings to a figure that can be counted on one hand.
Seriously, what kind of idiot has twins within 2 weeks of Christmas?
Don't answer that.
So while I was hyperventilating about the state of my pitiful Christmas booze fund while adding up the insane cost of presents that would likely be discarded and/or broken within a week...I received the new Cars 2 on DVD and Blu Ray, plus some awesome Cars 2 toys. All, conveniently, a week before Christmas and just over 2 weeks before the twins' birthday.
Being a mere 4 days in to the epic school holidays from hell, I ripped that DVD open as if it was a Tiffany & Co box, screaming for the kids to come see what Mummy had got them, before planting them in front of the TV. I seriously considered gaffa taping them in place, but there was no need. They were virtual zombies.
I couldn't even wait a week so that Santa could give it to them, not when I was already strung out and on my last nerve. The toys, however, they've been saved for Friday when Mstr2 and Miss2 morph into well behaved, vegetable loving, toilet trained Mstr3 and Miss3 (it's my dream, let me have it for another 2 days okay?).
I'd like to say that I got a lot of housework, Christmas shopping, meal preparation, bill paying - hell, even internet browsing completed while the kids watched Cars 2. But I didn't. I sat there with a glass of wine and zoned out, silently preying to the Vodka Gods that they would remain enamoured with it for the duration of the holidays, affording me at least
2 3 1 viewing per day.
And I'm delighted to report that so far we're on track. If they ever product a live version of the movie, my kids could easily take the place of the main characters, as they're starting to sprout the lines verbatim. Seriously...Pixar, have your people call my people and we'll do lunch and crunch the numbers.
Anywho, here's what you need to know about Cars 2 :
- It's kiddy friendly
- It's about cars
- It's animated
- It's funny
- It has an awesome range of merchandise and toys
- It has a pop-up tent that even
Ian idiot could assemble, and is large enough for an adult to hide in, with gratuitously mentioned wine, while the kids roam wild and feral and take over the house
- It's long enough to allow you to drink a decent portion of wine to calm your nerves that have been shredded by school holidays and the stifling Summer heat in a house without air conditioning, unless you count the confined space of the bedroom that is not worth chancing with you and all three kids because someone will find your secret chocolate stash, someone will find your makeup, and the other one will be elbow deep in your face cream, and all three will be eaten and smeared over the carpet.
Are you getting just how much I was hanging out for this DVD?
I'm not ashamed to admit that I totally bypassed the whole "Santa said you have to eat your broccoli if you want to play outside" in lieu of "Lightning McQueen said that you had to eat your broccoli if you want to play with him while watching the DVD". It has much more credibility in the face of 3 and 6 year olds trying to come to terms with the fact that Santa won't be visiting again for another 11 1/2 months, while Cars 2 is here for them every single day.
Every. Single. Day.
I may also have lead them to believe that the ending may change each time they watch it, because someone else might win the big race. It helps add to the suspense. Of course I am totally screwed when they wise up to the fact that Mummy does not control what happens on the DVD. Until then, they think I am awesome for letting the good guys win every time, heh.
But enough of me rubbing my school holidays salvation in to those of you still struggling (because I totally have other blog posts to come where I get to continue that).
Thanks to Porter Novelli and Disney Pixar, I have an awesome prize pack to give away :
Cars 2 on DVD and Blu Ray, plus a Lightning McQueen pop-up tent (a new one, not the one I've been hiding out in for the past 2 weeks).
For your chance to win :
Comment below (one entry for each)
1. Your school holidays "Do" (mine is to ensure your liquor cabinet / survival supplies are fully stocked prior to the onset of the holidays)
2. Your school holidays "Don't" (mine involves red cordial intended for Vodka cocktails being left unattended long enough for the kids to demolish it...straight up...it was a hellishly feral 24hrs, let me tell you)
3. Tweet this competition
4. Share this competition on Facebook
And once you've done that, go ahead and fix yourself a drink. You deserve it.
The fine print
Entry is open to Australian residents only
Maximum four (4) entries per person
Entries close midnight (WST) Thursday 12 January
Winner posted on the blog Friday 13 January
Winner has seven (7) days to respond before I curse like a trooper and carry out a re-draw
Entries close midnight (WST) Thursday 12 January
Do: send the kids for a week to summer camp or for a holiday at their grandparentsReplyDelete
Don't: leave them be lazy around the house
Do - Set aside some "ME" time after the hectic Festive season!ReplyDelete
Don't- Leave Christmas shopping for the last week!!
Do: Stock up on wine and get some of those new fancy pancy cocktails like the Long Island Ice Tea..for a treat!ReplyDelete
Don't: Look directly at the kids at ANY time..otherwise they will start whining!
Tweeted (LazyPepper) & FB'd. :) Nice blog..I'm liking it!ReplyDelete
Do get extra yoga classes in before the break. Om, om, om. You are going to need it.ReplyDelete
Dont presume its gonna be an easy ride 'cos it won't!
Shared on facebook - check.
Drinks organised for later on - check!
Do: Enforce bootcamp style tactics on teenage stepsons to teach them how the world works (ie dishes fairy/ washing fairy does NOT exist.... nor do bins empty themselves.ReplyDelete
Don't: Let the 'can I' hours (which are ineviteable during school hols) get to me "can I... can we.... why not... i'm bored" (insert whiney voice)
Do leave some food in the fridge for the next dayReplyDelete
Dont bring all your friends around to eat the food
Leave the house or you get I'm BoredReplyDelete
Don't feed them raspberry anything.
Do make sure the pantry is packedReplyDelete
Don't try grocery shopping with the kids!
Fan on Facebook too
Holiday Do: Line up playdates and stock up on water balloons. Playdates halve the pain when 50% of them are at someone elses house!ReplyDelete
Holiday Don't: Lollies and raspberry codrial. Bored + hyper = disasterReplyDelete
Hi, have tweeted @gherkkerry have shared :)ReplyDelete
School holiday do's.
Having a car to venture out,
staying calm and not to shout!
Movies, bowling all fun things,
Munchies and cool drinks you bring.
School holiday donts.
Dont get grumpy and upset,
make sure games inside you get.
Dont give to many sweets
or all your energy they will deplete.
Dont have more children visit
more running around,
you will have to commit.
Dont lose the key to the liquor cabinet
for all the weeks ,you will regret!!
Liked and sharedReplyDelete
DO bring out the card and board games (for BORED) children and adults!ReplyDelete
DON'T let kids invite friends around all the time to swim in the pool or you'll end up on constant lifeguard duty!ReplyDelete
Shared on FBReplyDelete
Shared via Twitter popeyes_girl_22ReplyDelete
Do get on and read parental parody and dont end up the babysitter for looking after your kids class matesReplyDelete
Holiday Do's seek out inexpensive or free activities. ie. pool, parks, walking trails, beach.ReplyDelete
Holiday Dont's . Dont let them veg out in front of the TV or video games ALL day long. No more than 1-2 hours a day ( c'mon you need your brekkie cartoons and after dinner movie)ReplyDelete
Do's - Take my daughter swimming on the giant slide.... wooosh!ReplyDelete
Dont's - Leave the tv remote lying around near my 8 month old son, he literally eats it
Do: invest in some quality earmuffs & insist on outside timeReplyDelete
Don't: invite the neighbours kids to help keep them entertained... it just equals more noise and mess!!
Do: Ensure you've picked up your local free guide for what's on!ReplyDelete
Don't: Hand out too much coloured ice blocks!
Do: Encourage grandma to spend as much time with the grandchildren as possible - preferably at her house.ReplyDelete
Don't: Drink yourself into oblivion. There are other ways to deal with children.
Shared on Facebook (Karen Freeman Comper)ReplyDelete
Have tweeted and Shared.ReplyDelete
Do: go to the park (or alternative activity) at least once a day.
Don't let the kids out of bed before 8am.
Have tweeted and shared :)ReplyDelete
Do have the "Activity craft basket" well stocked
Don't let the kids "help" do the washing!
School holiday do? Its alllllllll about Nans. A bit of Nanna/grandchild bonding is a very special thing, and allows me to bond with a cappuccino and a gossip mag.ReplyDelete
Don't? Make promises you can't keep about what your doing or where your going. That means no telling the kids what we're doing until 5 minutes before we leave, unless of course your needing a carrot to dangle for room cleaning, manner minding etc.
School Holidays Dos - have lots of activities planned, keep the kids occupied - School Holidays Dont's... say we'll do that tomorrow and not follow through - 2 months can be fun!ReplyDelete
Don't feel like you need to entertain them everyday give them space. And a walk or scooter ride or frisbee in the park is easy & popular!ReplyDelete
Make sure I have arranged lots of play dates (ie lobbing the kids on someone else) HAHA! and returning the favour of course :PReplyDelete
Dont - forget to give the grandparents lots of notice holidays are coming up, so they don't miss the chance to visit (and babysit) by going off on one of those grey nomad jaunts!ReplyDelete
Do - research local free activitiesReplyDelete
DONT - go out with snacks and drinks with 5 kids or it will cost a fortune!
Shared on facebook
Do: Ensure you arrange prior to the holidays that they'll have a steady stream of activities to keep them from the dreaded "B" word - Boredom! Things like picnic at the park, play dates with friends, cinemas on discount days, local library holiday programs, etc.ReplyDelete
Dont: Promise them anything and then not go through with it. Unless of course you actually like to be bombarded a million times with "Awww mum, but you promised!!!!"
Have tweeted (twittername queenofcomps) and shared on Fb (FB name Michelle Vamvas)ReplyDelete
Do: Kids sent to Grandma's for lomg periods of time, lots of Chic flix and goodies for me whilst home alone ;)ReplyDelete
Don't: Let the kids know where your taking them or you will just be harped at which in turn will drive you to the bottle lol
Do: enjoy the precious time with the kids.ReplyDelete
Don't: invite the inlaws to stay!
Have tweeted and shared on FBReplyDelete
Shared on FB and tweeted - my son LOVES Cars and Cars 2ReplyDelete
ooh forgot my Do and Don't:ReplyDelete
DO: have heaps of craft stuff on hand for when the kids are driving you mad
DON'T: forget the promises you make to the kids cause they will never forget and will nag you incessantly until you cough up!
Do - book vacation careReplyDelete
Don't - invite 'extra's' for sleepovers!
Shared on twitter - @mandachicReplyDelete
Shared on facebook
Do- meet up with other families for dinners etc (children of similar ages can entertain themselves better), visit Nanny and Pa's (children tend to be on best behaviour- something to do with the treats??), make sure Santa gives children movie tickets or tickets to attractions at holiday destination.ReplyDelete
Don't- forget to book the children into holiday care for a couple of days if needed, be conned to have everyone else's children over for the holidays while their parents are at work (cheap babysitting)
liked and shared on fbReplyDelete
Do - ensure all craft items purchased are age appropriateReplyDelete
Don't let said craft items be completed on the new dining table!
Liked and shared
liked and shared ob facebook and twitterReplyDelete
my dos are making sure the grand parents are not working lol my donts are count down the days till there back at school lolReplyDelete
Do: accept play dates. Two adults are better than one. (Someone to share the wine with.)ReplyDelete
Don't: take on baby sitting for friends while they just pop out to the shops. (I can hear them laughing now as they enjoy their freedom at my expense.)
DO: Have a plentiful supply of duct tape.ReplyDelete
DON'T: Say "later" because you will be nagged incessantly til it is "later" and you are on the brink of homocide.
1. Your school holidays "Do" Visit the Library for great free activitiesReplyDelete
2. Your school holidays "Don't" have any candy in the house or sugary drinks
Do - fake illness one day, get parents to pick up kids, lie in bed with bottle of wine and watch dvds all dayReplyDelete
Don't - forget to do this!
Tweeting and sharing, now where's my glass?
Do-Take school holidays with Grandparents, that way you get help with feeding, cooking, washing entertaining etc.ReplyDelete
Don't- Forget the wine!! To block out the nagging from Grandparents, who say the holiday is too noisy.
To Do spend more time with grandchildren,ReplyDelete
Don't give the little darlings to much sugar don't forget to give a big kiss and hug when they leave
i have tweeted and
shared on facebook
DO: Fun things. Coz they're only little once.ReplyDelete
DON'T: stress out coz the house is a total disaster zone. See "Do".
tweeted (as @sconeonamission )
I love your idea to substitute Lightning McQueen for Santa to do things. I reckon it'll get stuff done!
Do -check out whats on in local area to entertain the kidsReplyDelete
Don't - let kids eat too much junk food
shared on fb and twitter
DO: Go to the beach, hit the gym a bit (nice cold aircon there as well :p) and stock up on singletsReplyDelete
DONT: Let your little brother have a sip of one of your beers, he thought he was actually drunk on one beer :S
We are homeschooling so at the moment we dont have any set school holidays...but I so wished (only sometimes!) that we did.ReplyDelete
If we had time to ourselves we would...
Do - go to the beach every day so they sleep better at night
Dont - stay at home for long periods of time
Shared on Facebook and Twitter :)
Do - Try to keep to some sort of a routine (especially bed-time)ReplyDelete
Don't - Promise to do something and not do it (you will be harassed to within and inch of your life)ReplyDelete
Have shared on facebookReplyDelete
Do - Get out of the house at least once per day.ReplyDelete
Dont - make promises that you know you wont keepReplyDelete
Take advantage of free holiday stuff-libraries and shopping centres have good stuff as wellReplyDelete
dont-stress about the state of the house-it just isnt that important:-0
Do= make sure you have loads of craft supplies and bits and pieces to make thingsReplyDelete
Dont - agree to having more than 4 friends at once because its way too noisy !!
cAtch up with friends and let the kids ahve some fun as it is HOLIDAY time to relax and have a few laughs and to sit down and watch at DVD of cars together as a family.ReplyDelete
have shared on fb also tyReplyDelete
Do - have fun and enjpy your mornings walking around the house in your jamas til 10 lolReplyDelete
Dont - go to the theme parks - everyone else has the same idea and they are packed
Shared on FB
Do -share childminding with friends to give each of you a day offReplyDelete
Don't - do your day on a rainy day.
Do - find local free activities in the areaReplyDelete
Don't - go to crowded shopping centres just to go shopping!
Do - take you kids outside for activities, camping, fishing - exhaust their energy levelsReplyDelete
Dont - let them veg out too much in front of tv, computers and screens
shared on facebook
Do have a plan - Days out, days in, activities, time with friendsReplyDelete
Don't go it blind you will regret it everyone will get bored and annoyed turning the holidays very unpleasant. Don't forget to buy wine and reward yourself for keeping it together.
DO - Ensure the Grandparents are in close proximityDON'T make appointments with doctors and the likeReplyDelete
Do try and keep the kids out of hair lol I have 4 under 7 , not going to happen !!! but seriously try and keep them as busy as possible, puzzles, park, riding bikes, dvds, craft activities anything to limit their boredom and then fighting !!!!ReplyDelete
Don't have high expectations, a day out WILL involve crying and tantrums just accept it and move on, much easier then getting upset about it lol
have also shared on FacebookReplyDelete
DO- a dvd a big pkt off chips =4 kids sitting down munchin out quite for an hour lol DONT-spend all day in the sun with no sun screen lolReplyDelete
DO: get active by playing outsideReplyDelete
DON'T: give out to many lollies and never take kids shopping
DO: Get the kids to help clean the houseReplyDelete
DON'T: throw away important documents or future heirlooms
do get gran to babysit at least twiceReplyDelete
dont forget to send their PJ's
Do: Practice the art of deep breathing throught the challenges. It will help you see the light at the end of it all.ReplyDelete
Don't: Forget to try and enjoy it while they're still around, because one day you'll be complaining of an empty house.
Shared on Facebook :)
Do: Buy some kiddie swimmers to get ready for beach season!ReplyDelete
Don't: Forget sunscreen at the beach!
Don't go trying to scrub the nail polish the kids painted on the walls with a scourer...ReplyDelete
Do put up the bowl of dry dog food that your child thinks are lollies..
Shared and liked xxx
have tweeted and sharedReplyDelete
do get some sleep ins on the holidays
dont get to used to it!
Do make a list of lunches ready for schoolReplyDelete
Dont forget the Cars 2 game for LeapPad for travelling
Do : spill out the box of Legos on the lounge room floor and walk away from the rushing crowd.ReplyDelete
Do set the kids up outside with shaving cream to draw in.ReplyDelete
Don't forget to hide your expensive lipstick from the 2 year old.
Shared on FB too:)ReplyDelete
school holidays Do not give in to the kids show them whos boss and Don't loose your temper ...ReplyDelete
Do... plan lots of fun activities for the kids to prevent boredom fights :)ReplyDelete
Dont... let the rain get you down, must get outside to play!ReplyDelete
School Holidays DO avoid the shops AT ALL COSTSReplyDelete
School Holidays DONT go to the shops if it can be avoided!!!
Do: send them to the local Recreation centre for a fun filled day of activitiesReplyDelete
Dont: let them swim unattended!!
"do let them become besties with the dog"ReplyDelete
"dont let them and the dog dig holes and then both come running inside"
Have tweeted and shared on FacebookReplyDelete
DO encourage kids to help dad in the garden
DON'T let them come inside (after gardening) with shoes , especially after cleaning the house
My School Holidays dos:ReplyDelete
Make sure you have all the preparations done for this in the last week of term :P
-Let kids take turns each week to invite one friend over, essential and it may get (reciprocal) rid of one of your kids for a day
-Do basic "cooking" eg icing on arrowroot bikkies with lolly faces, sandwiches with cookie cutters
-Playdoh and painting and kiddie pools for "outside kids mummy is hungover!!"
-Borrow a baby for the day ONLY if you have a newborn niece/nephew/cousin etc- that is totally fun particularly if you have a teenage daughter, and again reciprocal "get rid ofs" for your son/daughter would love to visit the said baby...
-Have a sleepover EVER! Imagine staying awake all night?? I helped a relative once- Not for me Thanks. Ever. Again.
-Ever think that because pools are cheap now to get one in the holidays- get it done during the term if you must, you dont want to hear "is it ready yet???" I'd rather the Simpsons "Can we have a pool Dad?" times 1000
-Let your kids stay inside all the holidays- it might be easy spending a few bob on iTunes or Blu Rays to shut them up but seriously a new basketball hoop or mini skateboard ramp or trips to the beach will be better for their health and your own mental well being
-Dont just dump your kids to their Grandparents all the time- at least take one sick day to spend quality time at a museum or aqarium, kids dont forget that stuff!
Thanks for the opportunity and Im a High School teacher with toddlers of my own so would love, love, love the cars pack and hey its my Birthday soon....
Lots a Luff and Stuff
Amanda from Amanda's Mummy Jeans xoxoxo
Do remember the spare nappy and wipes when outReplyDelete
DONT forget to lump the kids on hubby and get out of the house! kid free!
DO organise lots of playdates and sleepovers for your four kidsReplyDelete
DON'T organise as many for your house!
Shared on facebook
shared on twitter
Do: Pay attention to what your children are doing when they are very very quiet.ReplyDelete
Don't: leave super glue near your 5 year old child that is playing hair dressers with the neighbours kid.
do - ensure there is an emergency stash of chocolateReplyDelete
don't - run out of chocolate
also shareed on twitter and facebook
tweeted and sharedReplyDelete
Do hug my kids every day
Dont Forgte to praise good behaviour
DO marry/partner a school teacher so HE can keep the kidlets amused at least half the time.ReplyDelete
DON'T schedule gynae surgery for early January when you're not allowed to go swimming for at least two weeks afterwards.
Do: Curse the people who think that school holidays means they can have a break from running Gymbaroo classes and playgroups.ReplyDelete
Don't: Do it to their face or you won't be welcome back in term one.
Do: set up the blow-up pool and make the most of the (few) warm days of SunmerReplyDelete
Don't: let your 19 month old play on the carpet while trying to toilet-train her
Make sure you have PLENTY of activities for the kids to get involved in.
Have a pale blue carpet if your 3 yo has 5 minutes alone with a bottle of shampoo and a bottle of talcum powder!
Do: Make aquaintences with the grocery online siteReplyDelete
Don't: Give into to demands for the secret stash of chocolate
*Have shared on Facebook and liked on Twitter
Do - Have plentiful alcohol supply for when children are in bed (Hell, you can start when they are getting 'ready' for bed!)ReplyDelete
Don't - Forget to buy alcohol ;OP
Oh and Shared on FB and Twitter :0)ReplyDelete
Shared and liked on Facebook and tweetedReplyDelete