In an attempt to free herself of my childhood crap all evidence of my early years, #1Nana has shuffled
crap from her abode to mine - which is technically also her abode, but I have
claimed it in the true sense of “possession is 9/10 of the law”.
I cracked open the first box of crap nostalgia, and found various posters and clippings of 1990’s boy bands I’d
rather not name, lest I incriminate my cringe-worthy teenage music tastes of
that decade.
Would hate to ruin my street cred, yo.
I also found a list I’d written at the tender but very
recent age of 14, detailing why Robbie Williams and I should be together.
Because before George Clooney was deemed hot, there was Robbie.
Just to clarify, we’re talking early years Take That
Robbie
Not podgy UFO chasing recent Robbie:
I thought I’d compare my reasoning or justification
for a long distance celeb romance back then at age 14, and now at an ever so
slightly older but far wiser age.
14yr old me : I want to hang out with Mark Owen
Current me : I could totally do with some fashion advice from Mark
Owen
14yr old me : Maybe Mark Owen is cuter?
Current me : Mark Owen wouldn't be interested,
unless I butch it up a little
14yr old me : Robbie wears black and so do I so we’d
look totally hot together
Current me : Black makes me look slim…slimmer…slimish…fairly
non-pregnant
14yr old me : Robbie’s rich and I’d never have to
work. Like, ever.
Current me : Robbie’s rich and I’d never have to
work. Like, ever. And I could tot’s afford the household of
staff that I believe I deserve.
14yr old me : Robbie could sing to me, like every day. So
awesome.
Current me : I’d let Robbie sing to me on special
occasions, to humour him. And only if I can choose the songs.
14yr old me : I have a killer signature worked out for when I
do autographs
Current me : Could probably practice that and perfect it.
Only my younger self neglected to leave notes on how I was going to become
autograph-worthy?
14yr old me : If we had a fight he could sing “Back For
Good” to me and mean it. Cool.
Current me : Ensure pre-nup works in my favour should we
argue.
14yr old me : He’s soooo cute. We would have the cutest
babies.
Current me : Will be able to pay for kick ass boarding school,
so we can instead focus on being a loved-up couple, jet-setting around the
world’s tropical islands (once he loses the weight and regains the 6
pack).
14yr old me : OMG, he has the best abs!
Current me : OMG, where have his abs gone!?
That was some profound shit right there.
And there were others. Had Robbie not seen my logic in our romantic future together, I was prepared with a whole list of other options, ranging from MC Hammer to Vanilla Ice to the entire cast of Dead Poet's Society.
I was both deep and totally logical and realistic at 14 years of age.
Totally irrelevant pic. I Googled Robbie Williams bent over.
Not like that peeps, I swear.
I was hoping to finish up with a pic of Robbie faux proposing to me, on bended knee - hence the Google image search.
But instead, I got this. Granny's got moves, so I figured she deserved to be included.
I loved Robbie.
ReplyDeleteI still love Robbie - he's my 'free pass'.
But from recent reports, I might just be wasting that pass on him.
:-)
LOL Love granny.
ReplyDeleteI was never into Robbie, however Johnny Depp....
You haven't mentioned your obsession with Glen Jakovic circa early 1990's. Perhaps that requires it's own dedicated post :-p
ReplyDelete<3
ReplyDeleteWe're packing up the house to move, and I recently came across some magazine clippings of Colin Firth & Ioan Gruffudd. It was so hard to put them in the recycling.. I know I can just hit the internet any time for some perving, but back in the day, magazine clippings were such treasures!
I was also never a Robbie fan, but now I have Back for Good stuck in my head :) Thanks!
I can relate to the Dead Poet's cast appreciation, but I lived in terror of actually having an English teacher like that.
Incidentally, I got bored one day and decided to document my past and present celebrity crushes on Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/3tomatoesshort/a-fangirl-retrospective/
I think I forgot a bunch of the earlier teenage ones, though! So.. do I get back to work, or start hunting out Ethan Hawke photos? :D
Oh to be 14 again - and in love (I mean have a crush)!!! That is one funny Gran :)
ReplyDeleteNever realised that Robbie Williams went from yummy to slummy?? What happened!!
I never had an idol back then...oh actually I did - it was Patrick Swayze - damn he was hot in Dirty Dancing and Ghost, but I cant remember if I was 14 or a little bit older - not admitting to when I thought he was gorgeous!!! May he rest in peace for evermore - stupid damn cancer.
I so wished I had kept my diary from when I was in High School - wonder what I would think reading it now!