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Friday, August 10, 2012

FFS!? Friday: The Corporate Edition

I've worked all week in the office of my Saturday job, so I've been blessed with hours of silence and nothing but the internet and flat white's to keep me company. No FFS!?

I did, however, have to pay a mint in Daycare fees for the Twin Tornado, and so I was pretty much literally working for love, not money. FFS!?

Can I just say, I bow down in awe of all the single parents, parents who work full-time, and any other kind of parent who juggles work and/or solo parenting. That shit is tough.  I'm all Whiny McWhinerson after one single week.  Respect, yo.

Anyway, back to me....

Someone - NOT ME - sent the office kitchen into plumes of smoke when they forgot their charcoal toasted treat.  Adrenalin shot through me as I realised...
FIRE ALARM = FIREMEN
I immediately applied lip gloss and volunteered to be Fire Warden and Chief Fire & Rescue Liaison, since the regular Fire Warden is on leave and I'm covering for her this week - so surely that means I am automatically the logical choice for the role.

The boss didn't seem too amused, impressed or swayed by my logic.  Probably because he owns the building and so he'll be footing the bill for the false alarm.  But still, I would've been super welcoming and friendly and I'm positive I would've represented the company....well. FFS.

I saw 2 firemen out of the 2 crews that showed up:

Fireman #1: Sans uniform.  In an entirely civilian outfit that did nothing for me
Fireman #2: Sporting enough of a middle-aged paunch that his yellow jacket looked more like a Teepee
Expecting something like this...

...the reality was closer to this. FFS!?

Fireman Fail. FFS!?

Speaking of clothing...

I wore my clothes backwards - top and bottom, the whole outfit - on Wednesday, thus blowing my attempt at Corporate Chic (Corporate Chic circa 1992...wardrobe FFS!?). FFS!?

I only detected my fashion faux pas when I went to the bathroom - MID MORNING - after doing the school run, the Daycare run, the mail run, the building run where I regale the other company in the building with my witty repartee (which is clearly not what they found so amusing on that particular morning...). FFS!?

In my defence, elasticised clothing is incredibly difficult to navigate sometimes.  What with the lack of zips and buttons and obvious necklines. FFS!?
Ironically, my backwards work attire comes from the same era as backwards jeans toting Kris Kross, yo.

#1Hubby has been all about the schmooze this week - work conferences and conventions and dinner dates. So, not only have I been all Corporate Barbie Fail all week, but I've also been keeping the home fires burning solo too. FFS!?

I've been the one to rush home from work via school and daycare, hit the epic homework list, pretend to listen to reading, referee over-tired, cranky, warring twin toy hostage negotiations, create culinary masterpieces with at least 5 veg, then force/bribe/beg/threaten/bargain/tantrum the kids into eating it, bath them, put them to bed, get shit organised for the next day....and then, right as I get to sit down in front of the TV/laptop, #1Hubby walks in the door and comments on how nice and quiet it is - which obviously means things have been just as blissful and serene prior to his 3 mini MOFO offspring being put to bed. Extra massive enormous MOFO. FFS!?

Is it any wonder I wear my clothes backwards? FFS!?


And just one final reminder to enter my winetastic Omrah Wines giveaway which closes tomorrow.







7 comments:

  1. I am beginning to think (after at least two occasions I've seen firemen in action) that the ones on my calendar, albeit, the same kind you were expecting, don't exist. Or they did but got melted into old men.!? FFS.

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  2. kriss kross how funny!!

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  3. So Georgia, when are we gonna see ya, "Jump! Jump!" :)
    Frick, you crack me up.
    What colour lip gloss did you apply in preparation for the non-burly old Firemen?

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  4. I'm still trying to picture what you could have been wearing, elasticised, to not know they were back to front. I can only think of a boob tube and a skirt, kind of Marge SImpson style.

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  5. top with V at the front and back - slightly lower at the back. Elastic waisted pants.  It was totally stylish, despite sounding like home-only lounge wear...

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  6. Bah, I jump jumped when I realised what I'd done!

    It was a lovely shade of Come Hither Pink - thankfully not Put Out My Fire Red, considering the 2 specimens that I saw....

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  7. OH wow! And yep my hat goes off to full time workers/single parents. Must be such hard work.

    Your wearing of your clothes backwards @google-c4e0578dc623dc5a5e65ef3826a9d6fc:disqus  reminds me off the time our Maths teacher came to school. She was walking weird, so we looked down at her feet. She had one white sandal, and one cream sandal. Same shoe, different colour - and different height!! And she didnt even realise until we pointed it out to her. Her excuse? Getting dressed while it was still dark in the morning, and not realising why she was walking taller on one side to the other side.

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