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Friday, August 17, 2012

FFS!? Friday: No longer #1 in Hubby's heart

Today I'm getting equal parts ranty and whiny about whitegoods/household products.

Whitegoods/household products and #1Hubby.

Whitegoods/household products and #1Hubby and my place in his heart.

During the week, #1Hubby went out and purchased a new ironing board cover.

I don't iron, ever.  So he alerted me to his purchase by making out with said ironing board. FFS.

Clearly the end of the Olympics has caused some sort of mental breakdown in his sports-addicted self. FFS.

Not only did he buy a new ironing board cover, he got it from one of the most expensive stores in all the land. FFS.

Clearly the man has no shopping sense. FFS.

#1Hubby appears to be dry-humping his beloved ironing board. Coincidence? I think not. FFS.


He paid the equivalent of three 4 litre casks a couple of bottles of impressive wine.  The kind you would gladly walk into a restaurant or dinner party brandishing the label of, hoping that others will notice. FFS.

I have caught #1Hubby talking to the ironing board cover more than once. FFS.

I'm talking sweet talking, whispering sweet nothings at it when he knows I'm around. FFS.

I genuinely believe his emergency evacuation list of priorities has changed, and I am the loser. FFS.



#1Hubby's Emergency Evacuation Plan Pre-fancy pants ironing board cover:

1. TV
2. Mobile
3. Kids
4. Me
5. Carlton Football Club crap
6. Booze
7. Irreplaceable mementos, pictures, birth certificates etc. 


#1Hubby's Emergency Evacuation Plan Post-fancy pants ironing board cover:

1. TV
2. Mobile
3. Kids
4. Ironing board cover
5. Me - assuming he can leave his ironing board for long enough to rush into the burning building and save my unconscious, singed self.  I will be found between the laptop and the coffee machine.  I will have succumbed to smoke inhalation while trying to decide between which of those devices to save first.

FFS.


We need a new fridge.  I'm buying it, just to be safe. FFS.

Don't even bother trying to choose. I've already chosen a far superior 'household appliance' of my own to replace you.  Mine cooks gourmet meals while entertaining me with his witty repartee.







16 comments:

  1. So Hubby's obviously not a 'curves' man then?!
    :-) x

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  2. Bahaha, clearly not! He's just another male who's been fooled by the air-brushed FLAT IRONING BOARD LOOK. He must be reading Dolly instead of Sports Illustrated?

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  3. hahaha I'm curious to know what the ironing board does for him, apart from assisting in making his clothes flat, crisp and steamy...does it cook, clean, make his coffee? ;-)

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  4. Ahhh the ironing board... I almost fogot what one looked like.

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  5. As always, I love it. Mr PP looks nice posing with the ironing board, but is he aware that men look much sexier actually ironing?

    Mr S does not iron, and I've never ironed so much... since I started sewing. Clothes that need ironing do not exist in our house.

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  6. I bought HB a new ironing board cover a few months ago and only because it was 50% off at Spotlight. He thought it was Christmas Day! What is with these men? Fridge trumps ironing board cover any day.

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  7. Is it weird that I was totally concerned that he looked like he was breaking the ironing board?
    Also, between the coffee maker and the laptop, take the computer. Then you can blog about your house fire. :)

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  8. I never iron either. I'll only buy clothes for the girls and me that can get thrown the the washer and dryer. The man has to iron his own clothes. It's his punishment for making such dumb clothes shopping decisions. Rachel x

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  9. I'm with you 100% - if #1Hubby gets a job that requires a fancy ironed shirt each day, then he can do it himself. The day he started discussing whether or not to continue the middle crease on his pants is the day I wrote him off.

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  10. I'm considering serving his dinner on the ironing board cover. Calling it a romantic date for the 2 of them. FFS.

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  11. Bahaha, so true! I'll tell him that one. While handing over one of the few items I own that require ironing!

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  12. I'm not allowed to use ours. Even in the days before the new cover and new love situation. I have a history of *accidentally* burning stuff....

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  13. I think it's more what it doesn't do - it doesn't whine, nag, bitch, moan, whine - and speaking of whine, he doesn't have to share his wine with it either.

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  14. LOL! Well at least you can thank the ironing board cover for kicking off Carlton and booze off his list. Love how you already have a fall back plan. Always good to have one of those :) x

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  15. I dont iron anything every either! And nope I wouldnt want an ironing board, or its cover :) Gee I so love your photos :)

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