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Friday, August 24, 2012

FFS!? Friday: Of poorly parenting and goats

On Wednesday I reminded another school Mum about the great annual Book Week dress up parade that was to take place at school the following day.  We joked about having to rush out to Red Dot and buy the cheapest costume on offer, then convince our daughters that they really loved the associated book and that's why they want to go to school dressed as said character.

I was all kinds of smug parent following such awesome foresight and planning and reminding and assisting another mother, yo. 

The following morning (yesterday) we got ready for school as normal.  3 minutes before we were officially later than late, Miss6 remembered Book Week and the associated costume requirements. FFS.

Being that we were due at school like 17 minutes ago, I literally grabbed the most garish, rhinestone encrusted, bright clothing that Miss6 owns (and there's a lot to choose from, my friends) and a couple of stray $2 shop coloured hair extensions that had attached themselves to the carpet in her room.  I told her that she could say she was Hannah Montana or a Bratz Doll.  She chose Bratz (phew...).


Parent fail. FFS.

Parent fail following the smug glow of being the "organised" parent reminding others of the very event I forgot less than 24hrs later. FFS.

Speaking of Miss6 - she has taken over my the iPad. FFS.

As soon as she found YouTube it was all over.  Nobody else has any hope of using it.  She is like a rabid dog, who snarls if anyone else attempts to get within 10 metres of the thing. FFS.

If I hear one more bloody 1Direction or Justin Bieber song my ears will start bleeding.  And my brain will implode.  And I will start singing along like I have done every single day. FFS.

I received an email about a new Aussie short film for kids, by PROREVOLUTION Films.

I figured it was my chance to distract Miss6 from 1D and Bieber, so we watched it.  Miss6 is mesmerised by the short film I'm 5 AKA The Horse, The Doll & The Goat Whisperer (No FFS).

It's unlike any other child's story/clip I've ever seen, and Miss6 was completely taken with it.  Particularly the goat.  I'm ecstatic that she's forgotten about 1D and Bieber, for the time being (No FFS).

I'm now eagerly awaiting their next child-friendly clip. Thank the Vodka Gods there are no perky teenagers in brightly coloured lycra, prancing around, singing preppy songs that make me want to repeatedly slap them upside the head with Justin Bieber's hair after a full can of hairspray has hardened that sucker up real good.

Lethal weapon hair: The next line of defence and personal protection.
For when the bodyguard is busy or has his hands full with the screaming masses of teenage girls and their mothers




17 comments:

  1. Yvette @ DTlilsquirtsAugust 24, 2012 at 7:54 AM

    ohh! My sister forgot it was book week too.. and the boys didn't get to go in the parade!!

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  2. My Miss6 arrived at school (late) and proudly proclaimed "I'm a brat!" and I was all like "yeah you are...."

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  3. Bratz dolls are literary figures now? Book week it seems is the bane of many mother's existence. I'll get my turn next year when P1 starts school.
    Thanks for the funny post.
    Mumabulous@mum-abulous

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  4. We didn't have book week dress up. I want to marry the teacher/principal/random parent who made that decision. Fo realz.

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  5. Thank your vodka gods that my kids have refused to dress up for book week for quite a few years now. I bet she looked gorgeous!

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  6. God help my 2 when all this crap comes around for us!! They hsve a dodgy mother when it comes to things like this!!

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  7. workingwomenaustraliaAugust 24, 2012 at 1:03 PM

    Solution to the issue of 1D and JBieber songs blasting through the house? Give them a set of ear pods and an old MP3 player. We've had to kibosh the Youtubing of 1D as we were WAY over our data limit one month thanks to the singing boys. If that isn't the worst reason to be over your data limit I don't know what is!

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  8. LMAO! And that's what you get for playing smug parent!
    Interesting how she chose a doll over a real live person...well, if you can call Miley Cyrus "real"...But come to think of it, a Bratz doll hasn't been busted smoking a semi-illegal drug. So, yeah, okay...Miss 6 made a wise choice.

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  9. I'll need to get my daughter in to Start Wars ASAP, let me recycle the amount of starwars rubbish in my house. Should avoid the Brats look unless (Leia bikini is the obvious exception) Hilarious post.

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  10. Keep it all. And any sequins or sequinned clothing you find on special, buy it. You will need it all and it will become the bane of your very existence.

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  11. I know, right!? The karmic powers that be were just "tsk-tsking" away at my smugness.

    I'm kind of thrilled she chose the Bratz doll - given Miley's current drug smoking, boozing, waifishly thin, flesh-flashing get up. Not to mention engaged at 19! (Ahem...not that there's anything wrong with that, says the mother also engaged at 19 and married before 21).

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  12. You wouldn't believe the amount of headphones we've been through. Miss6 twists them so badly she can't unravel them, and therefore she literally pulls them apart. If the twins get hold of them the buds go missing. Never to be seen again. It's a little bit eerie, a little bit scary.

    And a big 'bahaha' to being over your data limit on account of 1D. That is gold!

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  13. She looked like it was simply casual dress day - so I looked worse than the parent who sent their kid to school in their regular uniform - I looked like the parent who couldn't be arsed with book week dress up, and couldn't be arsed with school uniform either. Sigh.

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  14. I would nominate them for educator of the decade.

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  15. There's a whole range of Bratz books, believe it or not.

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  16. Ah dear. I don't know how we managed it, but our Book Week is next month, a whole month after I've been able to mentally note the best ideas. And if it seems wrong to have an iota of enthusiasm, its because this is my girl's first year of school. So imma get it all over with now.

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  17. That's genius. You can claim all the best ideas as your own. Having said that, I give you 2, 3 years max before you're over the enthusiasm of it all. Ito nly took me 1 year. Ahem.

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