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Monday, August 20, 2012

iWin the household goods war

After #1Hubby’s recent investment in his newest love interest, I decided it was my turn to retaliate treat myself to some appliance loving.

Not like that y’all.

So I went out and bought the iPad I’d been threatening to buy since back in ye olde iPad1 days.

I bought the newest family member home.

I gently removed it from its packaging.

I caressed it as I swiped my way through applying my settings.

I lovingly whispered “SHITTING BASTARD THING, WHY WON’T YOU SWITCH OFF?!?!” when it was time to start dinner and I couldn’t work out how to turn it off.

As #1Hubby walked in the door he went straight to his bloody ironing board to check that the Twin Tornado (who were in the laundry at the time) weren’t defiling his beloved with their sticky fingers.

I smirked at my new beloved, which I noted blended beautifully with my other great love – the Nespresso coffee machine. Sigh. 

My 2 great loves, side by side

#1Hubby came in the kitchen to see what was for dinner.  He looked all around me.  Everywhere but at the iPad.

So I kept stroking my beloved while in the kitchen, under the pretence of cooking dinner, while sipping wine.

Still, not a clue how to turn the bloody thing off.

#1Hubby came and went over the next hour, never once noticing.

As we sat down to dinner, he said:

“I’ll just go turn off that $500 credit card purchase for you, shall I?”

MOFO bastard….I should never ever have clued him in to the wonders of Internet banking.

Also, this is as far as I was able to get to my beloved once The Feral Threesome found it:

Aerial shot, taken from behind the crowds, standing atop their kiddy table in the kitchen



  1. Just coming to you via digital parents! Hilarious post! Hope you get some 1:1 iPad time today xx

  2. Oh...I had to read this to my hubby.. He did that to me the one day after I went grocery shopping with the Amerx. He wanted to know what I bought him at the store even though everything was put away and there was no evidence of shopping.
    I'm curious..Did he notice it or get the text message that you had spent that much money.
    here is another perfect post of how our husbands know things about our spending..even before we tell them.

  3. Oh I so would love that! Buying something so great, and then waiting for hubby to notice! Quick hide it while the kids are asleep so that you have it to yourself!!!

    And gee the ironing board....cant he pick something that is more interesting? Like a cooking least he can help out with dinners :)

  4. Exactly! I think he deliberately chose the whole ironing job and ironing board fixation because he knows I have zero interest myself. I have to admit, it often extends to vacuuming, so I am a little bit lucky.

  5. I think men have an in-built credit card warning system. Like an ESP kind of deal. My own Hubby just knew. Every single time I whip out a credit card, he is there. Or he calls me for some random reason, right before I hit "Confirm purchase" online, while he's at work. He really does ruin my purchasing buzz a little bit.

  6. bahaha I hope he refilled your wine glass when he got up to turn it off! That will teach him for buying an exxy ironing board cover lol


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