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Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Suck it

#1Nana is currently off on yet another overseas junket.

In order to distract me from her reckless spending of my ever diminishing inheritance, she bought me these:


The straws, not the child.

Ridiculously long straws, as evidenced by the fact that they dwarf Miss3.

#1Nana said they were for my own health and well being.

ONE METRE COCKTAIL STRAWS.

To keep me further away from the cocktails, so that it takes me slightly longer to drink them.

With the added benefit of perhaps tiring me out earlier from all that extra sucking.  Which can only mean clearer skin, better pores, less wrinkles.

While I certainly appear intoxicated, I am not.  I'm simply concentrating really hard to get that sucker in my mouth.

Clearly it does nothing for my frizzy hair. Pity.

I may also need to see a Chiropractor on account of the bodily contortions required to hold my drink far enough away to use the bloody straw.

She was undoubtedly taking the piss, but it is possibly the best smart ass gift I’ve ever received.  Also, I will save at least one for when she's old and decrepit and is living on a liquid diet, taking all sustenance via a straw. Heh. Payback is a bitch, even if I'll have to wait 20 years for it.


One down, 24 to go. 23 after I save one for #1Nana's old aged care and sustenance.




6 comments:

  1. Ha Love it! I could put them to good use consuming champagne whilst lying down. (if my kids ever gave me the opportunity to actually do that). Keep sucking it up. Love Mumabulous

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  2. Kelley @ magnetoboldtooAugust 22, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    you are a nutter. I love you HARD.

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  3. Oh gosh my kids would love those straws!! Never seen anything like them before :) Very clever Nanna.

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  4. I have to admit, watching the twins attempt to use straws taller than they are totally distracted me from Pinterest and Twitter longer than anything else has so far!

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  5. Next time we are within a 100m radius of each other, I shall bring these straws and we can look totally posh sipping cocktails....from across the room. My shout.

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  6. They say that the alcoholic effect is magnified by a straw. I wonder if the length of straw contributes to that phenomenon - if so, that could make for a really cheap buzz. One laborious suck and you're done!

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