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Monday, September 24, 2012

The clothesline smackdown - it's coming


I'm on the verge of going postal.  The clothesline move will be used, with maximum irony since my postal-ness is specifically in relation to laundry and #1Hubby.

I swear that man grabs a heap of wet washing and hurls it at the clothes line.

Wherever, however it ends up, he whacks a few random pegs on stuff to hold it in place.

I don't iron.  His method of hanging clothes doesn't fit well with my strict anti-ironing policy.  Everything comes off wrinkled and crinkled.

Also, I get a little twitchy at the complete lack of symmetry.

Some would say anal, but I prefer to say neat and even.

Everything has an order in which to be hung.  Everything should be evenly spaced for maximum air flow.

And for the love of Vodka, there should be nothing tripled over and wrapped around the bloody clothes line three times before being pegged.

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He swears he can't see the many outrageous issues with his poor excuse for a clothes hanging method.

He claims it is not deliberate.

I'd go so far as to say that he is even amused by the steam coming out of my ears, and what he labels as my unhealthy obsession.

So lately I've been trying to sneak outside and catch him in the act, fully expecting to see him standing at least 3 feet away and catapulting the clothes onto the line.

It is really giving me the shits.  So much so that it warranted a whole blog post.

I know, I know, I'm all kinds of ungrateful whiney wife - but what is the point in helping with the laundry, when you're doing it wrong.

I think he knows I'm trying to catch him out.  Every time I creep outside attempting to look totally casual and not at all suspicious like, he is waiting for me as I round the corner - just standing underneath the clothes line, arms folded, wet washing waiting to be hung out.

He stands there like that and makes stupid small talk until I go back inside.  He won't hang a thing while I'm standing there.  Bastard is messing with me.

I have to wait forever for him to leave so that I can go back out and correct his work.

If I catch him out, I'm going to slap him upside the head with a pair of my wet, freshly washed Mummy Tummy super sucker undies, wet fish style. 

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16 comments:

  1. LOL - as always - a great way to start Monday morning !
    Have the best day - wrinkled washing and all !
    Me

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  2. Dadabulous has not hung out a load for washing for 7 years, so not too much sympathy from me. Rather I found your plight quite amusing. Love Mumabulous

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  3. Cassandra 'CJ' WunschSeptember 24, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    LoL my husband jumped straight on the defensive 'you know the wind CAN wrap things around a few times if it gets gusty' - yes dear, but it doesn't then take the peg out and put it through all three layers my love.

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  4. Kelley @ magnetoboldtooSeptember 24, 2012 at 11:38 AM

    Due to my sports related shoulder injury, I can't hang washing on the line. After a few weeks of my stuff coming off the line completely fucked I devised a plan. His shit, the kids shit and all the other shit BUT my awesome clothes go on the line. Mine is washed separately and hung on the airer in the spare room. If his crap is crinkled then it is his own damn fault. Heh.

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  5. That sounds like a good plan. I may have to claim ownership of our airer, if only the kids would promise not to use my freshly washed undergarments as a cubby house...

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  6. Where were you when #1Hubby used that exact excuse. I hope I can remember this for the next time he indignantly blames the wind!

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  7. You're clearly too soft on him. Train him, train him hard.

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  8. Thank you! I'm now devising a plan to wash my own stuff, and leave him to wrinkle up his clothes and nobody elses. The kids, well, best they learn how to operate the washing machine....

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  9. Must confess it's kind of the opposite at our house. My husband can use 4 carefully and strategically placed pegs on one pair of undies whereas I'm pretty happy to sling things anywhere as long as they stay put. Of course, I also don't do ironing - that's his job - which is possibly why he hates the way I hang stuff!

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  10. I'm sure that men deliberately do household chores really badly so that we get annoyed and tell them not to bother.

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  11. Totally deliberate! I know this because I do the same sly sneaky tricks myself. I am now banned from packing the dishwasher. Perfect.

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  12. I hear ya!!! I go out see the washing... think, thanks for doing it babe, but it ain't never gonna dry in this weather hung like that!!! His method: grab handful of socks/undies put under one peg, rinse and repeat hanging all the socks and undies using as little number of pegs possible... you know, coz we have limited peg resources.. NOT!

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  13. I have to admit, I have buggered up the ironing the very few times in the early stages of our loving relationship that Hubby allowed me to iron. Works wonders.

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  14. Same in this household. Two pairs of massive woollen socks under the one peg. Hello a week on the line and still damp....

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  15. You must be very very good at cooking or other such wifely duties....no hanging clothes on the line or ironing? I bow down in awe of you!

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