The first (and only) time I did my parenting duty as class helper, I spent recess with the kids. I wedged my backside into a kiddy chair next to them and - while silently praying the chair didn't break or permanently attach itself to my person, thus requiring surgical removal - I joined them for morning tea, rather than hang with the adults in the staff room.
Partly out of an eternal need to be accepted by the cool kids, mostly because I was curious what other mothers sent to school to sustain their kids while their little minds were being shaped.
I remember one child, she of the gorgeous flowing golden locks, she of the porcelain skin and bright blue eyes, such an insightful and intelligent 5 year old....oh ok, she was also the kid who said to Miss-then-5:
"Miss5, your Mum is pretty".
See, insightful. Clearly she was my favourite child in the class (at times, even above my own child who has still not yet advised me of her opinions on my looks, beyond pointing out stray white eyebrow hairs).
While the other kids had various packaged and home made snacks, this girl was eating an avocado.
I was impressed. I made a mental note to congratulate her mother.
Why wasn't my kid eating an avocado...instead of dipping her carrot sticks in the sand pit and licking them?
I vowed to get my kid away from the sandpit and eating avocado too, by any means necessary.
And so it was with much 'Eye of the Tiger' style Rocky music playing in my head that I accepted the AvoFresh '5 Lunches, 5 Ways Challenge'.
Day 1: Covert lunching - pizza style
Miss7 has a slight aversion to green foods because she associates them with healthy foods (spinach, broccoli, avocado, celery, apples etc.) and therefore they don't make her preferred list of consumables.
So I buy Spinach wraps - they are wraps therefore they are fine to eat, never mind the fact that they are GREEN. The girl is a walking, talking contradiction. Drives me nuts.
Spread the AvoFresh on, whack on some grated cheese and toast that sucker until it's bubbly and crisp. Let it cool, chop it up into symmetrical triangles (I'm totally OTT about symmetry), and put it in the lunch box. Before returning 20 seconds later to steal a piece.
Voila, cold pizza for lunch. What kid doesn't love pizza?
Day 2: Covert snacking - cake, cake, cakity cake!
Grab your chosen chocolate cake recipe - or if you're inherently lazy like me, the packet chocolate cake mix that requires the least steps and ingredients. Add a whole tube/container of AvoFresh or a whole mashed avocado to the mix before baking.
Truth be told, I also add the cooked, pureed stem of a broccoli too - it's the healthiest part, full of vitamins and minerals, and both the avocado and the broccoli just melt into the chocolate cake mix.
It's cake. It's chocolate cake. It's scoffed before anyone can say "hey has anyone seen the bottom half of the broccoli?".
Day 3: Dip..it's not guacamole. It's dip.
One thing Miss7 can't resist is some dip with her carrot, celery, cucumber and capsicum sticks (now that her taste buds have matured beyond sand pit sand).
Now you could go all Martha Stewart and make your own....or you could grab your kid's flavour of choice (Cheese and Chives, in Miss7's case), and simply add the AvoFresh to amp up the health factor (you're such a good parent like that).
Day 4: Sushi - it's what all the cool kids bring for lunch
Little miss walking talking contradiction never seems to see the avocado in her beloved sushi. I'm a complete tight arse and refuse to pay $6.50 for a child sized portion, therefore I make my own (and prey it won't fall apart). Simply squeeze liberal amounts of AvoFresh all over the rice. As long as there's mayo and chicken, Miss7 couldn't care less about the green avocado.
Don't even get me started on the seaweed...
Day 5: Mexican style...ole! Wait, that's Spanish. Nevermind.
By this stage I deserve the last of the AvoFresh for myself.
Give the kid the leftover chocolate cake with avocado and broccoli, because OMG that's two veg and you're clearly an awesome parent committed to their health and development. Toss in the sushi scraps from yesterday, since of course it all fell apart. Morning tea and lunch, sorted.
On to me. Open the AvoFresh - I love the Seasoned squeezey tube because it makes fart noises when you near the end of the tube, and I'm a bit infantile like that.
Open a bottle of wine.
Sit down and toast your awesome parenting for the week, while enjoying AvoFresh and wine....I'm going to call it a Mexican fiesta followed by a quick Siesta after all that wine.
If you want to be all classy, you can use corn chips to transport the AvoFresh from the tube to your mouth. If you want to save on carbs, you can just do what I do - cut out the middle man and squeeze that sucker straight into your mouth.
So I'm not going to give you all the details on why AvoFresh is healthy and awesome and all natural. You can get all that info here on their website.
Instead, I'm going to give you something even better...
Win a $100 Woolworths Giftcard thanks to AvoFresh
Ole! Or whatever the correct word is
You can get a lot of AvoFresh and wine with that, my friends. And also a packet of wipes to mop up the spillage from trying to co-ordinate squirting the AvoFresh directly into your mouth after a few glasses of wine.
For your chance to win
- Subscribe to this blog so that I can convince myself someone other than my mother is following me. I'm not fussy which option you choose, but they are all up there on the top left of the screen.
- Comment below with whether you're a scooper or a squeezer (it's not like that y'all...we're talking about your preferred AvoFresh packaging and dispensing method)
For additional entries, Tweet and/or Facebook Share the following link:
I want to win a $100 Woolworths Giftcard thanks to AvoFresh and @Parental_Parody http://goo.gl/EdFPd
Entries close midnight (WST) Saturday 20th October
The Fine Print
- Entry is open to Australian residents only
- Maximum three (3) entries per person: 1 x comment 1 x Twitter share 1 x Facebook share
- Winner announced on the blog Monday 22nd October
- Winner has seven (7) days to respond before I console myself with more wine and AvoFresh fart noises,
before carrying out a redraw.