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Friday, October 26, 2012

FFS!? Friday: Can I help you?

Cheap shit toys.

'Nuff said, am I right? FFS.

But in order to share the FFSness of it all, I filmed the main culprits of craptasticness for your own ear bleeding inducing enjoyment:



You should thank me, or rather, my camera - the poorly sound recording doesn't do the volume of these sadistic little bastards justice (or maybe it does...).

First up, a FFS!? for outing my messy, sandpit encrusted yard on the interwebz.

Another FFS!? for showing Mstr3 on the interwebz with a gash on his head.  The poor little dude tried to ride a sandpit truck and instead went face first into the paving.

Mini FFS!? because I laughed my ass off at the visual comedy gold when it happened, unaware that blood had been drawn. 

What are they even saying?

"Call me baby, call me...Colin?"

Okay, I will: Colin - STFU!

"Ay yi yi....Can I help you?"

No, no you bloody can't.  Not unless you can tell me how to permanently disable you. FFS.

These toys, they creep up on you when you least expect it. FFS.

Every time I think I've got rid of them....the Twin Tornado emerge from the toy room with another one. FFS.

Clearly they breed.  Multiply.  Mutate to even more irritating voices and songs than the previous model. FFS.

They will be the only things left roaming this earth one day.  Them and cockroaches. FFS.



17 comments:

  1. Oh dear lord who brought your children those toys? They need to be punished!! They do multiply I am sure of it!! We had blood here too and I have popped a pic up!! The whole town has seen it why not the internet aswell!!
    Love your new look and i can comment now too!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course it was the bloody grandparents. If it's not lollies, it's cheap crap noisy toys that never die.

      I'm off to look at your own maimed child now, heh.

      Thank you - I love my new look too. Lisa from Life As We Know It is a genius.

      Delete
  2. Ugh I hate those toys with their annoying cheap arse sounds. I usually either throw them out or take the battery out and tell Dyllan that they are broken. That usually works for about 30 seconds where his tantrums far outweigh any annoying noise the damn toy made.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, the tantrums get me every time too. That and the ones that I can't even get the bloody backs off to remove the batteries. I'm positive some poor underpaid factory worker gets extra kicks from spreading super glue over the screw that holds the battery plate on the back of the bloody things.

      Delete
  3. Oh so so annoying! I never ever ever replace batteries!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not a chance I would either. But these things keep coming back to life! The music gets slow, the voices get all slow and deep - the end is near, hooray! And yet, it's like a few weeks in the Off position is all it takes to perk them up again. Self charging batteries, clearly.

      Delete
  4. they need to "mysteriosuly" be swallowed up by zombies over night
    wink wink nudge nudge!

    (the toys, not the kids!)

    xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I swear that's what I do, and yet, somehow they return. Hence I'm positive they're mating in the toy room and multiplying. We can't possibly own THAT many.

      Delete
  5. lol. Those things are possessed I am sure

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you. Never turn your back on them. They're evil...

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  6. Hate hate hate with a passion. We had one too. I think I murdered it. It's all they're good for- a moment's crazy arsed burst of homicidal rage. Until grandma buys another one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly... Mstr3's phone went flat and then went for a swim in a bucket of water - so I let him take it to bed with him last night once it was dry. Guess what woke me up at 5:30am this morning, full battery and all. FFS.

      Delete
  7. Hilarious! My parents are constantly buying annoying loud cheap toys. Friggin' does my head in. I keep thinking I'm the only one...sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is pure evil. Along the lines of that old chestnut "Just wait until you have kids / I can't wait until you have kids of your own..."

      Delete
  8. Ugh! How is there a market for this crap??? Surely if we all hate them there would be no need to make them? I just don't get it because it is certainly not a supply and demand equation!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh gosh I am so glad we dont have any of those toys left anymore! Or maybe we do in our shipping container? Actually I think we might and I need another clean out :)
    Our older two used to have toy phones...until one day they broke! So sad (Not)

    ReplyDelete

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