There's not a parent on the planet who hasn't heard of the epic "Go the f*ck to sleep" picture book for adults. I remember a stranger emailing it to me before it was a global hit, before it had even gone to print. I pissed myself laughing and nodded at every page like a bobble headed figurine. Then I emailed it on to a few friends and that was all - apart from being super impressed that someone who doesn't know me personally but reads my blog, thought of me when they saw it.
A month later EVERYONE knew about it, and I was kicking myself for missing out on the epic "I saw it first" bragging rights and website hits that could've been, if only I'd been a little more generous in my sharing.
Anyway, you live, you learn.
And that is why I'm sharing this:
If you can't relate to at least half of the poetic ditties inside, then you're doing it wrong (parenting, that is).
My personal favourite is Push the Shopping Trolley - an eloquent poem about the tantrums kids have in the middle of the supermarket.
This book would make an awesome Baby Shower gift. Let future parents know what they're really in for. Full disclosure, I say.
I have two copies of No, we are not f*king there yet...to give away.
For your chance to win
Follow this blog, because it's all pretty and new and re-designed and the follow options are now on the top right and well that's really all I've got by way of justifying my request
Comment below with the biggest parenting lie you were ever given.
Mine was that your children will thank you for being firm and setting boundaries. They didn't and they don't. They laugh, ignore them, and sometimes crap all over them.
For extra entries, Tweet/Share the following:
I want to win a copy of No, we are not f*king there yet" with @Parental_Parody http://goo.gl/3rhvm
Entries close midnight (WST) Monday 5th November
On a related note - If I had a dollar for every time I had to tell The Feral Threesome "No, we are not fucking there yet...", I wouldn't have to drink cheap cask wine ever again.
I mean, I probably still would, but the point is I wouldn't have to. It would be a choice.
The fine print:
- Entry is open to Australian and New Zealand residents only
- One (1) entry for following and commenting
- One (1) entry for Tweeting the correct link above
- One (1) entry for Sharing the correct link above
- Entries close midnight (WST) Monday 5th November
- Winners announced on the blog Tuesday 6th November
- Winners have seven (7) days to respond before I drop the F-bomb some more and conduct a re-draw
Who started this '6 week mark' crap?ReplyDelete
I counted down the days until the 6 week magic milestone with my firstborn bub.
Man, was I bitterly disappointed when we reached and passed it - Magoo was still an unhappy, unhealthy little one.
I bawled and wanted to throttle those who gave me the '6 week' spiel.
The biggest lie I was told was while I was still in hospital with my first born. She was hungry and crying, and I had enough milk to feed the whole nursery. I was crying because the whole family was there and I was failing miserably. Someone, still not sure who (but I would like to punch them out) told me that it gets easier. Bulls**t it does. There is just one thing after another. Terrible 2's, terrible 3's, terrible 4's. You get the idea?ReplyDelete
hat i would know what to do after i had the baby-utter cods!!!ReplyDelete
You forget the pain!!! Yeah right.ReplyDelete
That kids don’t actually eat that much until they’re teenagers. Are you kidding? Where are these little non eating kids? Mine eat non stop and seem to have the phrase "Mumma, I'm hungry" on continual repeat.ReplyDelete
That it gets better with time!! Liars, it gets harder!ReplyDelete
I was in labour and my midwife told me "just one more push"......about 1000 times over 30 minutes. Yep I was a long way off that last push :(ReplyDelete
Oh Tish....don't even get me started on horror epic birth stories. My only visual memory of my Miss7's birth, is of my elderly obstetrician, vacuum in hand, one foot up on the end of my bed for leverage, yanking her out. Hence she was affectionately named 'conehead' for a couple of weeks.Delete
Anyway, the point is...I HEAR YOU! And for that, you've won a copy of "No, We Are Not F*king There Yet!"
Tish you didn't leave any contact details when you entered. Can you please get in touch via my Facebook Page or the PR Requests link at the top of the screen?Delete
Thanks heaps :-) i have sent you a msg on FB :-)Delete
Got it, thanks!Delete
That parenting gets easier as they get older! Bull dust :)ReplyDelete
And another one - they will one day thankyou for all that you do for them...still waiting!
Already follow you via email (love your FFS posts!)
I follow you blog via e-mail. :-) Biggest lie - that it does get easier. My daughter is 2.5 now and it's even harder than before! email@example.com.ReplyDelete
I have shared on my Facebook page - Darya Khomich.ReplyDelete
That the music in an ice-cream van means it has run out of ice-cream - I love it and use it on my kids too!ReplyDelete
OMG, yesss! Same here! It was the great mystery of my childhood, why they would keep driving around if they'd run out. Why weren't they at home making more, or watching TV or something? For this trip back down memory lane, you've won a copy of the book!Delete
Abby I can't contact you via your Blogger profile that you used to enter. Could you please contact me either on the Facebook Page or via the PR Requests link at the top of the site? ThanksDelete
Have shared on my Facebook and tweeted about giveaway :)ReplyDelete
I was told to buy all this expensive STUFF for the new bub. That I would need it. So wrong, & Bub did not care how expensive, as proven by the vomiting & poop.ReplyDelete
firstname.lastname@example.org. I follow you via e-mail and Facebook. Biggest lie I have been told - parents should only be blamed for their kids' behaviour!ReplyDelete
I have shared this giveaway on my Facebook page!ReplyDelete
I have tweeted too. email@example.com.ReplyDelete
That things will get easier once they start talking as they can communicate better....ummm...yeah...now they can tell me to bugger off!!ReplyDelete
the biggest lie i was told is they do what they see and your at fault not true so if my son decides to test drive nanas car down the drive way and through the fence its my fault you can turn your backfor a split second and god knows what they can do in such short time my son lernt to say the f word from his sister who mummbles this being naughty now he repeats it nana and pop blame mum and dad and say we say it around him well this can be picked up anywhere they have a mind of there own and its not always are fault :)ReplyDelete
oh this would be so good to read and my bestie is having a baby shower in 2 months and this would be so good to give to her i think she would love it.
i have tweetedReplyDelete
i have shared on facebookReplyDelete
Biggest lie I was told: "Your body will bounce right back after the baby's born". I'm still waiting... and waiting... and waiting...ReplyDelete
I was told that the second pregnancy and delivery would be easier... Excuse me!! It wasn't.ReplyDelete
tweeted followed and shared on Fb twitter anf Google+ReplyDelete
i was told that i would love it when my kids left home but I dont its bloody lonelyReplyDelete
That santa wont come if you're awake...that bugger still doesn't visit me even when I'm a good girl!ReplyDelete
That there's no real difference going from 2 kids to 3.... garbage, it's way harder!ReplyDelete
lol love the title!ReplyDelete
oops i tweeted tooReplyDelete