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Friday, November 30, 2012

FFS!? Friday: Somebody call the Wahmbulance

A quick side note - the winner of the Sammy Sea Patrol Giveaway is Trish Beatty.  May your water usage always be of a safe nature, Trish. No FFS!?

But enough of that positive shiz.  On to the Whiney McWhinerson business that is FFS!? Friday.




My finger tips have been peeling as a side effect of all the medication I was on in hospital.  It is utterly disgusting, and totally ruining the look of my impressive nails - nails that have never grown in the past, but are currently all a decent length. FFS!?

The kids got gastro last week. FFS!?

My kids have never ever had gastro.  None of them were ever vomiters as kids. No FFS!?

But the one single night I was alone because #1Hubby was away for work and #1Nana had to go home - that's when they started with the synchronised vomiting. FFS!?

I was all OMG I'm totally getting this, on account of still recovering from being all septic like.  But 2 days later the kids were fine (in time for #1Hubby's return home....typical. FFS!?), and I hadn't caught it.

That's when I got all braggy-pants about how I must be back to full health since I didn't get gastro.

And that's when I got killer gastro. FFS!?

For the entire weekend. FFS!?

I've never spent so long with my butt cheeks so firmly clenched together out of fear. FFS!?



As a result of having lost over 40kg over the past 3 years, plus 6kg - 7kg in a week in hospital, and then the weekend's involuntary detox-by-gastro, said butt cheeks now resemble a pair of semi-deflated saggy balloons.  It's quite horrifying. FFS!? 



Then I got a paper cut yesterday and it was all too much for me.  I whined for Australia about the stinging pain.  I was, essentially, exactly like a male claiming pneumonia the second they get a slight cough. FFS!?

Four people this week have commented on how I'm looking much better.  How - and I quote all of them - "You have a lot of your colour back now.  You don't look dead like you did last week."  I think that's a compliment, right? FFS!?

For the record, I thought my 4 layers of bronzer last week had done a bang up job of making me look human.  Clearly not.  What a waste of bronzer.  FFS!?

My family have now ceased asking how I feel and being concerned for my health and wellbeing.  They are now straight up telling me to hurry up and get better so I don't ruin their/our family trip to Bali for Xmas.  I can just feel the love. FFS!?


18 comments:

  1. LOL - I HATE the gastro bug - no matter who gets it !!!! And the vomiting one is even worse - luckily I don't do vomit (unless it is me vomiting) so anyone in our family who gets it is on their own if I am the only person in the house with them no matter whether they were a little person or not !
    Hope you are well enough for your Bali holiday - otherwise just go and lounge around all day while everyone else does their own thing !
    Me
    #FYBF visitor

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    1. I'm planning on milking it so that #1Hubby manages the kids until the Nanny arrives each day. If I can hold off the urge to compulsively shop and give away the fac that I'm fairly well recovered.

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  2. Yuk there's nothing worse than gastro. Hope you're feeling better soon (so you don't ruin anyone's trip) :)

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    1. I am. It would total ruin my trip for than anyone elses - hence I'm power loading vitamins etc in preparation for decimating myself on pool bar cocktails.

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  3. OH WOW. That's a good FFS. I'm going to stop bragging about how my kids have never had gastro now or the curse will come.
    I love it when people say you look much better now, but EARLIER (you looked ear death/too thin/very pale/sick/etc etc ... been there! People hey? They suck.)
    On the PLUS side - as attractive as your saggy balloon arse may be, at least it's not green, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously, don't ever mention iron clad stomachs or lack of gastro. Karma is listening.

      It's true, my ass is not green. At least not since the gastro went away.

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  4. LMAO at your clenched butt cheeks! I feel you pain! I caught a gastro bug off my kids a few months back and lost 3kgs in 2 days. Nasty. And to have it on the back of your ICU holiday - OUCH! Good things must be coming your way soon! x

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    1. Did you somehow manipulate your captcha? Because I swear it just asked me to write "sickpoo"!

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  5. pack plenty of gastro-stop and hydrolyte in your luggage *just in case* you arent finished yet.
    I suffer from ulcerative colitis, so I feel your pain with butt gastro, during flare ups I live on gastro-stop.

    but I never seem to loose any weight....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh love, this gastro shit (hehe, pun intended) must be relatively normal for you!

      I usually only lose weight on my boobs and my bum. Bloody typical...

      Delete
  6. Why is that our kids feel the need to share when it's something we don't want? Like when was the last time they shared their easter eggs! Glad your on the mend.
    Prue x

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    Replies
    1. Exactly! Awesome point - when do they ever share anything good like chocolate? Well said!

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  7. Gastro sucks. Our whole family shared a gastro bug a few weeks back and it was nasty. It's not just the physical caring that takes it out of you it's also the endless washing of disgusting sheets and clothes that comes with it as well. Hoping you do get back to full health for xmas in Bali and that you are looked after so you can get better!

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    Replies
    1. You are so right - the whole mothering role never stops, even when you're sick. My sheet cleaning prior to the washing machine got slightly less vigilant after the first 3 sets.

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  8. Oh what a week! I live in fear of gastro. Touch wood Miss 3 has never had it yet.
    Loved the postcard image -as a Colitis sufferer this totally resonated.

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    1. Oh you poor thing. I can't think of anything worse - scared to fart, OMG!

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  9. LOL! Oh, Georgia! It's just been illness after illness for you this past month, huh?
    Hurry up and get better - Bali's calling!!! :) xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! I'm terrified I've "only" had 2 illness type thingies - what's the 3rd since these things come in threes?!?!

      Please let it be flat stomach and washboard abs style weight loss *ahem*

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