The Twin Tornado finally started school this week. No FFS!?
On their very first day we got the red note. The red card of classrooms....
"A child in your class has been found with head lice..."
It's the first day of the first year of these kids' schooling. FFS!?
There were only 4 other kids there, on account of the staggered phasing-in!
(Which is, in itself, a massive FFS!? But I'll whine further about that in a second).
If it wasn't the Twin Tornado, then how the hell did I have the bad luck to end up in a class that is 20% my own children, and still has head lice on the very first day of term - a day that lasted for all of 2.5hrs? FFS!?
There were only 4 other kids there, on account of the staggered phasing-in!
(Which is, in itself, a massive FFS!? But I'll whine further about that in a second).
If it wasn't the Twin Tornado, then how the hell did I have the bad luck to end up in a class that is 20% my own children, and still has head lice on the very first day of term - a day that lasted for all of 2.5hrs? FFS!?
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| I hear it's a lot like fruit picking Image Credit |
Despite the lice thing, I was all WOOHOO about the Twin Tornado finally starting school, picturing myself swanning around shopping centres, flat white in hand, not a care in the world...
Then I actually read their welcome letter (and remembered Miss7's first year of school), and of course the first 2 weeks are phased in at 2.5hrs on each of their designated days. FFS!?
No sooner have I arrived at the crack of dawn in order to grab one of the few parking sports, then I have to return to pick up the Twin Tornado. FFS!?
And return soon after to pick up Miss7. FFS!?
I've been having a virtual meltdown all week, clock-watching and panicking that I'm going to be late to pick up 1, 2 or all 3 of them. FFS!?
Also, I'm suffering lunch block. Already. In the first week. FFS!?
I am out of care factor ideas on what to pack in their lunch boxes already. FFS!?
Added to that, it's only now that school has started that Mstr4 decides he likes to drop the F-bomb. FFS!?
My sweet little mama's boy suddenly likes to exclaim "FFS" when frustrated, and drop an insightful and matter-of-fact "that's fugall Mum!" at highly appropriate times when I'm about to lose my shit over something minor. FFS!?
Yeah it's 'fugall' to me, but you know that, sure as shit, the teacher who's seasoned at interpreting toddler, will know in an instant that he's really saying 'fuck all'. FFS!?
No clue where he picked up that language...ahem and FFS!?
And my own personal FFS!? about finally having offloaded all my kids tofree daycare be educated?
After working from home (as in my paid writing job, not this delightfully witty repartee that I philanthropically giftmy mother and that person in Russia the people of the internet) for the past 18 months, attempting to concentrate and put together somewhat witty and informative pieces while drowning out swearing, screaming, squealing kids....this week my job ended. FFS!?
My sarcasm is now completely uninterrupted, unchallenged and available if anyone is interested. FFS!?
I'm not above applying for the rumoured Aussie version of "The Real Housewives of all the world". I'm about as real as anyone they're otherwise considering. I'm just not really prepared to get up early enough to do hair and make up, or clean my house that frequently and thoroughly (FFS!?).
And my own personal FFS!? about finally having offloaded all my kids to
After working from home (as in my paid writing job, not this delightfully witty repartee that I philanthropically gift
My sarcasm is now completely uninterrupted, unchallenged and available if anyone is interested. FFS!?
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| It's been one of those weeks Image Credit |
I'm not above applying for the rumoured Aussie version of "The Real Housewives of all the world". I'm about as real as anyone they're otherwise considering. I'm just not really prepared to get up early enough to do hair and make up, or clean my house that frequently and thoroughly (FFS!?).
Anyway I can't whine any further about the return to school for 2013, because I'm sure I must be late to double park in an illegal stopping zone half on someone's fledgling lawn 15 minutes from the school in order to pick one, two or all three of them up. FFS!?
Yay head lice! That was really lucky. And the potential for a double dose of head lice - even luckier. Double pick ups? Nice way to interrupt the day and stop you getting anything done. I understand why you're doing the Reader's Digest version of swearing. You should just let rip with the full words and claim you have Tourettes.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who knows me would completely understand a Tourettes explanation for my potty mouth. That's genius.
DeleteMy youngest started school this year too, and the early pick up times are doing my head in too. As if 3.5hrs is long enough to get anything done! But next week it gets even worse. As of Monday I have to pick him up at 2pm, and then hang around to pick up my eldest at 3.15pm because there's no point coming home! For three weeks I have to do that! FFS!
ReplyDeleteOMG...that sucks big hairy unspeakable things.
DeleteA group of us have decided that, should one of the old houses surrounding the school come up for sale again, we are all going in and buying it. We're going to paint parking spots on the front lawn, set up an espresso machine on the front verandah - and reap the massive profits from all the other parents.
Thanks for the laugh even though I am sure you aren't laughing about it !!!! Man I am so glad I am not having to deal with that anymore - no, my punishment is having to deal with a extremely bright, very smart 20yo who has just dropped out of uni to join the police force but doesn't know if she will get in because the entrance exam is hard - FFS !
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you aren't getting paid for working from home anymore - hope something comes up for you soon.
K spend 1 year at the local school - her going away presnt from them ? A head full of lice !! FFS ! (The one and only time we had to deal with that luckily !!)
Have the best weekend !
Me
Argh...kids never know realise their full potential when they're primed to harness it! No doubt she'll be a 23yr old police officer when she decides to go back to uni, heh.
DeleteGeez Trace - that sucks !! Way to waste your limited time !!!
ReplyDeleteAt least it is only for 3 weeks !
Me
Ugh, head lice! We had a note on the second day of school last year. And we would get one weekly for the rest of the year. Luckily my kids were always lice free, but geez as soon as I read the note I would always start scratching!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you lost your work from home job. Hope something comes up for you soon.
Same - phantom scratching all the way!
DeleteI was always 'woohoo!' when Miss7 never got head lice, despite the almost monthly occurrences. Then I had to wonder if that meant her hair was so disgustingly dirty that even lice wouldn't get all up in there?
I'm FFSing all over the place here too. I have the potential to be late FOUR times in one day (see? I hear your dropoffs and raise you!) This week the mini-diabetic started school, so they need me there at morning tea and lunchtime to help with fingerpricks and pump stuff. So, with a delivery of 9, return at 11, return again at 1, and pickup at 2:40 (SCREW this early first month - just get on with it already I say), I am thinking about witches hatting a zone just for ME outside the gate so i can stop looking for a park. Cos, you know, I'm late every single visit. I might just put a camp bed in the school hall so i can have a lie down in between visits. Kinda like the Grey's Anatomy 'on call' room. But less sexy.
ReplyDeleteOMG, you win.
DeleteSneak to the school one night with a can of spray paint and reserve a space. For the "school health inspection officer" or something similar - to go with the diabetic testing visits.
We had the nit notice on day two here, and I thought that was bad! Who sends their kids to school with nits?
ReplyDeleteI know!?!? Your kid is starting school for the first time ever...and you slap some clothes on and push them out the door? More to the point...how long had the kid been suffering with them unnoticed?
DeleteI hate school lunches...jam sandwich everyday because I can't be bothered thinking of more. and Lice?? Never had them yet but I hair spray every inch of hair t make sure it is something that doesn't come home from school.
ReplyDeleteI've been told hair spray or conditioner over the top of the smoothed down hair once the ponytail is in place.
DeleteI'm considering standing at the front door with the vacuum every afternoon, and sucking any potential creepy crawlies out of their heads. Just in case.
I laughed so hard we almost had an insident!
ReplyDeleteLice blows, my daughter get's her hair braided in the morning because it's quite long and I remember having lice in long hair at primary... *shudders* 2.5 hours a day? FFS! My oldest started this year and it's only 3 days per week but at least they're full days!
I'm moving.
Delete3 days a week.
Where am I moving to and what's the uniform like?
Oh no! Lunches - same thing every day. They can have different things for breakfast and dinner!
ReplyDeleteYou're so right.
DeleteExcept maybe breakfast. It's hard enough being awake for it, let alone creating something beyond cereal or toast.
I really love your ffs - most of them apply to my life - especially the school lunches and having to get there for pick up and wrestle other mums for parks! I've been FFSing all week - but sometimes forgetting to say it not in front of the kids - GRR - when will it end??? Sorry to hear you lost your writing job from home, there's a chance mine will end up in-house soon and so I'm stressing about that! BTW I'm totally freaking about the lice thing, I can't stand buys of any description! Hang in there and enjoy a red x Emily
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteI've consulted the hair dresser, and been told to only wash their hair once a week, and on a Friday night so it's never 100% squeaky clean for a school day.
My kids get generic lunch boxes with slight variation of fruit. That's it! What am I- some sort of boxed food genius? But ultimately, despite pestilence and staggered times and all the things that shit you... TWIN TORNADO AT SCHOOL!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're right, you're right.
DeleteI have to fight the urge to whine before thinking and weighing things up.
And believe me, the other half of the week that they're at home with me, it's so much bloody harder now that I've had a sniff of freedom!