Seriously, you do.
It's comedic genius.
The best parenting book I've read (sorry Kaz Cooke, but this is even funnier).
Paul Merrill's Muddle Your Way Through Fatherhood is a book about being a Dad, by a Dad. A Dad who happens to have a wicked sense of humour and a way with words.
It's bloody hilarious, and there's pretty much nothing off limits.
There's information on how to deal with underachieving kids, overachieving kids, parenting a nerd or a nightmare pubescent, and how to handle child bullies (yours and others).
It even covers the tough questions - sex, drugs, poor life choices.
If you're not one for reading, fear not - there are a number of helpful flow charts and diagrams.
It is a very clever take on the realities of what to expect when your partner (or, as Paul puts it, "wife/girlfriend/lesbian egg donor") is expecting.
From the reality of holidaying with kids, tackling Mothers Day, covertly naming your first born after your sporting hero, to when and how to lie to your offspring responsibly - it's all covered.
Each chapter follows the growth of kids, what to expect at each stage, and the do's and don't's for Dad's navigating the whole fatherhood gig.
While The Feral Threesome are all still in the school age range, I'm definitely keeping this book on hand as they grow. Real advice on how to really handle situation (without group hugs and over-emoting) with humour is exactly my style.
Muddle Your Way Through Fatherhood covers how real people handle parenting's tricky situations. Not how Super Nanny and Dr Phil would handle them were they to mate and produce a golden child.
And if you're still unsure how to stumble through fatherhood, then don't worry - there's a section on the best and worst celebrity Dad's so you can model yourself on their examples. Or not.
Honestly, I really loved this book. This is the one I'm going to buy for Dad's to be in future.
It's pants-pissingly funny (a rating that should be available on Amazon and The Book Depository), but it's also true. Facts are offered up with maximum wit and sarcasm, which is just how I like them.
Muddle Your Way Through Fatherhood will be available on Amazon from June 1st.
Seriously, bypass the yawnsville factual books and get this one.
And if the Dad in your life isn't quite cutting it, get him a copy too so that he may brush up on his fathering (and husbanding) skills.
I have a copy of Muddle Your Way Through Fatherhood to give away.
For your chance to win, comment below with the best piece of fatherly advice you were either given, or you would give.
And I'm after real advice, nothing airy fairy like "cherish every moment".
Something along the lines of "train them to follow your football team as soon as possible, so your wife is less likely to protest about having to watch matches, when presented with the pleading eyes of her beloved offspring".
Entries close midnight (WST) Monday 27th May.
The fine print
- Entry is open to Australian and New Zealand residents only
- Maximum of one (1) entry per person
- Please, please, for the love of vodka, remember to register your comment with an email address - if you enter as 'anonymous' or choose not to provide an email address on the comment form, how am I supposed to contact you if you win?
- Entries close midnight (WST) Monday 27th May
- Winner drawn and published on the blog Tuesday 28th May
- Winner has seven (7) days to respond before I get a bit ranty about the extra time and effort I've put into trying to contact them, before conducting a re-draw.