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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Canteen crowing

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Not on my f&*ing watch, Gordon

Today I'm enjoying the afterglow of being one of those helpful school parents.

Yesterday I did canteen duty.


That's's a repeat performance.

I am a giver.

I also enjoy spying on Miss7 to ensure she is not spending her recess and lunch breaks sitting on her own.

On my first canteen duty I was tasked with tomato slicing, with strict instructions to aim for 5 slices from every half of tomato.

I stopped counting at 12 wafer thin slices per half.  NAILED IT.

Then I was promoted to making muffin mini pizzas.

I had leftover tomato base.  Look at me saving the canteen money (which I suggested could purchase a coffee machine).

Following such massive success I was deemed worthy of the special of the day - twice.

Until I burnt the bottom of the pizza subs and was relegated back to chopping lettuce and making muffin mini pizzas.

Yesterday was my big comeback.

Muffin mini pizzas AND tomatoes and lettuce.


I'm expecting a scholarship from Le Cordon Bleu (proving my supreme knowledge on all things culinary, I had originally typed Juliard...).

And invitations to join the kitchens of Heston Blumenthal, Jamie Oliver and Gordon f*&king Ramsay.

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Or, you know, entrusted with the end of term sausage sizzle.


  1. Doing it today! Gunna chop me up some shit.

    1. Fist bump. It's official - we are the world's best parents. Ever.

  2. Thank goodness my days of canteen duty are well and truly behind me (not that I ever did it while K was at school anyway but, hey, I worked full time !!!! LOL)
    Have the best day - will be waiting for some photos of your culinary expertise in the very near future !!

    1. I expect I'll be spent by the time they hit high school. No more P&C Vice President. No more fortnightly canteen duty. I will be doing the drop and run.

      I promise next week I'll take food porn shots of the burrito special that I'm in charge of - because I nailed it the first time they let me make it, so I've already been tasked with it for next week. That's how good I was. Or how in need of volunteers they are.

  3. I hope you swore like Gordon while you chopped!! You really are aiming for Mother OF The Year next year aren't you!!

    1. We all laughed over the Gordon Ramsay meme. It's a bit of a thrill hearing canteen Mums drop the F bomb. I have suggested a champagne breakfast next week, now that I'm in good with them. It would guarantee more volunteers.

  4. You're one of THOSE parents are you? The one who tries to curry favour by being involved. Well, if you play your cards right your child could end up as school captain and we know that it's only a short step from there to Prime Minister. Nothing wrong with a healthy dose of parental ambition, if you ask me.

    1. OMG it's like you were in the room with us yesterday - a former school parent dropped in to say hi. He started the canteen years ago, while his kid was head boy or head girl. The current deputy in charge of the canteen is mother of the head girl. We joked that there must be a pre-requisite for your kid being head boy or girl, that you have to be heavily involved in the canteen.

      Of course I don't have to worry about maintaining my efforts, as not one of my kids could give a shit about being popular and being head boy or girl.


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