Not on my f&*ing watch, Gordon
Today I'm enjoying the afterglow of being one of those helpful school parents.
Yesterday I did canteen duty.
That's right...it's a repeat performance.
I am a giver.
I also enjoy spying on Miss7 to ensure she is not spending her recess and lunch breaks sitting on her own.
On my first canteen duty I was tasked with tomato slicing, with strict instructions to aim for 5 slices from every half of tomato.
I stopped counting at 12 wafer thin slices per half. NAILED IT.
Then I was promoted to making muffin mini pizzas.
I had leftover tomato base. Look at me saving the canteen money (which I suggested could purchase a coffee machine).
Following such massive success I was deemed worthy of the special of the day - twice.
Until I burnt the bottom of the pizza subs and was relegated back to chopping lettuce and making muffin mini pizzas.
Yesterday was my big comeback.
Muffin mini pizzas AND tomatoes and lettuce.
NAILED IT ALL.
I'm expecting a scholarship from Le Cordon Bleu (proving my supreme knowledge on all things culinary, I had originally typed Juliard...).
And invitations to join the kitchens of Heston Blumenthal, Jamie Oliver and Gordon f*&king Ramsay.
Or, you know, entrusted with the end of term sausage sizzle.