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Friday, May 3, 2013

FFS!? Friday : Taking the piss. Literally.

So my first FFS!? is the fact that I had this post all written up and scheduled for last Friday, only I hit "Save" and not "Publish", meaning I was FFS-less last week.  FFS!?

Nobody noticed that I went FFS-less last week.  FFS!?

Anyway, down to business.  I'm whining some more about swimming lessons this week.



Image Credit

One of my favourite pics of all time. So pumped to find another reason to use it.  No FFS!?


Following my previous post about swimming lessons, a School Dad (whose daughter is finishing up as The Feral Threesome start their lessons) helpfully pointed out that, in addition to pissing in the showers, all the kids piss in the pool too.  FFS!?

When I thought about it, I realised that I've never ever seen a kid get out mid-lesson or mid-swim and rush to the toilets in all of my poolside years.....eww and FFS!?

Directly following this shocking and disgusting realisation, I observed the Twin Tornado gulping down pool water for the entire duration of their lessons (same pool, different groups).  Again, eww and  FFS!?

I spent the entire lesson impersonating a helicopter as I paced the length of the pool between their 2 groups, waving my arms around trying to get their attention and make them stop drinking the piss/water.  FFS!?

They all complained about hurty eyes after their lessons that day.

Clearly it's got nothing to do with the mega doses of chlorine in the water to combat the piss, it is most certainly a result of the piss stinging their eyes.  FFS!?

Thankfully, they only attended for a week, so I'm hoping for a speedy detox from their piss habits.  FFS!?

Not one of them passed their lessons.  FFS!?

Of course they were all so close to passing that another week would've done it.  FFS!?

But what kind of parent would I be if I let my kids imbibe the piss of others for another week?  FFS!?

I had been planning on doing laps at the same pool on the days the Twin Tornado are at school with Miss7.  It was to be my great return to the world of exercise following my tummy tuck.

Now I will have to find some other form of half arsed exercise.  FFS!?

At least I won't have to maintain my bits and pieces with such vigour now that I won't be donning a bathing suit a few times a week.  No FFS!?




20 comments:

  1. Piss water is one of those "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" things!! I have been in a piss pool for basically 4 years (barring a few small breaks here and there) with another 2 to go once baby 3 arrives and I have survived!! Its not so bad if you don't think too hard about it!! Although hard to avoid if your own child wees when you are holding them in the water making it warm. FFS!!!
    I missed you last weeek although this may be my last visit to your blog as I am pretty sure you will block me if you read my last weeks ffs friday!! In fact don't as it will upset you a lot!!

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    1. You just had to know that I would immediately go check that post. I am devestated on your behalf. I do hope you've restocked?!?!

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  2. The Big Sister used to drink so much, errr, water that she would vomit during/after most lessons. Piss water vomit - FFS!

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    1. OMG...wait, that's almost like recycling, right?

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  3. Piss water - you wouldn't want to be the instructor would you? I wonder what it does to their skin, must check them out thoroughly next lesson.
    My son also likes to drink the water and has complained now and then about a sore tummy. No wonder!
    Thankfully being a boy, when he swims at home, he likes to jump out and pee all over the backyard like he is fighting with a sword. I am now very proud of that :)
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

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    1. This probably explains the detached and vacant look in all of the instructors' eyes - probably their coping mechanism.

      If you teach him to write his name it would make an epic party trick.

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  4. The more chlorine smell there is in the pool area, the less piss!! That chemical smell is the chlorine burning off bacteria in the water, as I was informed by my mother when I commented on the particularly strong chemical burn smell at our indoor pool last week....ewww
    My little girl wouldn't dare drink the pool water, she has foot phobia. Last summer I told her that kids run across yukky grass and straight into the pool, ever since she keeps her head above water!

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    1. I'm with your daughter - I hate feet. I hadn't been able to get past the piss to even consider the volume of feet in the water. I may never ever go in again.

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  5. I am still struggling to say FFSL all at once - quite a tongue twister - FFS.

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    1. I miss the plural on the F. It's the 's' following another 's' that gets me. Would make a great drinking game tongue twister.

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  6. I think a about this every time I go to the beach, just how many people, animals and fish have done their business in that ocean! *Shudders*. I'm slightly less paranoid about swimming in a pool but only because they pump those things full of chlorine. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

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  7. I don't do public pools. Ever. Ick!

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  8. Just so you feel a little more appreciated, I noticed the absense of a FFS post last week! Every Friday night at around midnight I use my Iphone to read yours and Dear Baby G's FFS posts. I get very upset when yours is missing because I look forward to them :) Its rare for me to read on the computor so I don't usually comment. I hate public pools. Even worse when they are heated because I feel 100% like I am swimming in the wee of all the kids around me.

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  9. Ewwwww. I love watching my daughter at her weekly swimming lesson, and now this is all I'm going to be thinking about! She does in fact ask to go to the toilet mid-lesson if she needs to go - but I've never seen anyone else do it!

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  10. Surely it can't be too bad to drink wee?? Didn't Bear Grylls do it to survive in some God-forsaken part of the world?

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  11. I have never thought about what the kids were doing in the water during the lessons! YUCK - but then again it would make a kids tummy bugs stronger :)
    And yeah now I am not keen on going to public swimming pools for that very reason!

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  12. Don't worry too much. Any water that has been filtered through that many kidneys is bound to be good for you. :)

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  13. The smell of chlorine at our swimming lessons could knock you over like a bulldozer. Our previous swimming instructor got welts...WELTS from being in that chemical nightmare for too long!
    We're changing swimming schools...but not for the chlorine....just scary instructors who have beards and pony tails. Standard, right?

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  14. I thought it was going to be some boring old post, but it really compensated for my time. I will post a link to this page on my blog.

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