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Friday, May 31, 2013

FFS!? Friday : Unhappy with the Happy Snappers





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Not to be dramatic or anything....but cameras are evil, soul stealing things


Let me preface this post by saying I am not a happy snapper.

The Feral Threesome will likely grow up assuming they were adopted out at 6 months (when I stopped taking regular baby snaps of their every drooling, crawling moment), and then reintroduced to the family randomly throughout the year (for annual birthday cake candle blowing, Christmas and birthday present opening and family holiday happy snaps).  FFS!?

It is a massive FFS!? for me, to say that it's school photo time.  FFS!?

The Twin Tornado are in Kindy, and so their school photo's are done by a different company to Miss7.

I have no clue why.

Perhaps they specialise in younger kids...like those irritating, perky young happy snappers that try and make eye contact in shopping centres when you've got a leaning, wonky trolley full of food and melting ice cream, and a whining toddler or two...but they spring out in front of your path, assuming you'll love being stopped in your tracks to discuss having a photo of your tantrumming toddler right this very second.  FFS!?

Since it's a different company that do the Kindy shots, they don't do family shots with siblings in other classes.  FFS!?

And of course the company that does the rest of the school doesn't do Kindy kids.  FFS!?

So no chance of cheapskating my way to one single shot of The Feral Threesome together.  FFS!?

The Kindy happy snappers were asking $30+ per child for a standard size photo and a couple of smaller head shots.  FFS!?

The happy snappers doing the rest of the school are much cheaper...at $18 for a single photo.  FFS!?

I don't hang photos.  I don't frame photos.  Particularly not passport photo sized head shots.  FFS!?

I save photo's electronically and put the flash drive in our safe.  Lest the house burn down and destroy all proof that they weren't actually adopted or hidden and wheeled out only on special occasions.

I'm not paying $80+ to have a single photo of each of my children.  FFS!?

And who can buy just one single photo - then you have to negotiate United Nations style over which set of Grandparents get that one single photo.  FFS!?

So we would, in fact, be looking at over $100 for 3 sets - one for us and one each for both sets of Grandparents.  FFS!?

I'm not confident my kids have triple-digit smiles.  FFS!?

Why are school photos so expensive? 

Clearly they're playing on the parental guilt factor.  That no one parent wants to be the single tight arse in the class who refuses to pay for a photo of their beloved angel in their school finery.  FFS!?

I am well happy with being that tight arse who says no to exorbitant pricing for one single photo.


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Instead, I am going to put them in their school uniforms on a sunny weekend, drive to school and bribe them with McDonalds if they will stand in close personal range of one another and faux smile as if they're loving it, so that Mummy can take her own school photo to email out to the relatives.  No FFS!?

And then with the $100+ that I've saved, I will congratulate myself with wine and cheese while the kids eat their Happy Meals and we all smile for real.  No FFS!?


EDIT at the butt crack of dawn : So it turns out the company that does the rest of the school are actually happy to do sibling photos.  Of course I found this out after photo day.  FFS!?


9 comments:

  1. This is another upside of only having one child !!! Although I completely agree, I think school photographers just milk the situation - and you have to pay before you even seen the photos so you run the risk of them having a dorky smile with closed eyes !
    I think K may think she was adopted out at some point in her life as well - not that we had many photos when she was little anyway !!!
    Have the best day and enjoy spending the $100 you saved on the photos !
    Me

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    1. OMG yes, the one single take and you get whatever pained expression they're displaying at that exact moment. Another excellent reason that I hate school photos!

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  2. You need to learn to photo shop. Get a standard photo of three kids in uniforms and just substitute your three angels' heads.

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  3. Apart from restocking the booze cupboard with the baby bonus I plan on getting professional photos of our family when the baby is born so that I have 1 bloody decent family photo!! I love your idea of taking them yourself!!

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    Replies
    1. I applaud your priorities - restocking the booze cupboard should always be first priority. You deserve it.

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  4. You're a funny fugger! I agree though kindy/school shots WAY too expensive! I used my phone to take pics but wish I didn't because they are just stored on computer not doing anything!

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  5. Do you know, it had never occured to me to not buy the damn school photos. And I dont even hand the suckers out! At least you hand them out, mine just get chucked in a drawer. Am taking a stand next year and not buying

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  6. I don't have one single school photo from my childhood that I could say looked good. Not only are they out to scam you for $100+, the photos all look like mug shots! I better start saving for when the twinlets start school. Eek!

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