Pages

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Joxers on Twitter : The next big thing



Image Credit
 

This could be the ultimate in Twitter oversharing.

For the English speaking among us, Huggies in Europe has released a nappy that has a sensor on the front, which Tweets your chosen Twitter account when it senses moisture.

I shit you not (geddit?).

Now, upon Googling, I realise that this is not news to many.  It seems they were released in May.

I'm sooo behind the trends, I know.

And behind the latest in underwear fashions, it would seem.

On the nappy front, I prefer to operate under the motto ignorance is bliss....and if in doubt, covertly send them to their father.

This new technology would throw my system out completely.

#1Hubby is not on Twitter.  For this to work, I'd have to set him up with an account and explain it to him, and watch his head explode before he started to follow all his sporting idols, expecting multiple mutual Tweet bromances.

Ugh, I just don't have the will power.

So the Huggies Tweet Pee nappies are not for us.

But it did get me thinking.

If I was to go to all that trouble to introduce #1Hubby to Twitter, I have a few choice Tweets that I would much prefer he receive about his own underwear goings on.

#1Hubby and his joxers (those fitted boxers, I'm certain they have a better name than that, but I can't think of it right now) are my target of choice, far more so than nappies.





On sensing the accumulation of warm air, AKA a fart building up ready for expulsion:

Warning : Imminent fart detected!  Move away from your wife immediately!

Follow up Tweet:

Don't come back until the smell has dissipated sufficiently so that it doesn't follow you back into the room.

Follow up Tweet:

Did you check for follow through?  If yes, start washing.  Nobody should have to deal with that shit (geddit?).


On removal of joxers:

Your undies have been down for a substantial period of time. Either pull them up again or put them in the wash.

Follow up Tweet:

Not on the floor.  The floor is not the washing basket.

Follow up Tweet:

Are they inside out?  Nobody should have to man handle your dirty undies, so put them in the right way.

Follow up Tweet:

And while you're at it, same goes for your dirty socks too.  Have a nice day.


On sensing a change in the 'density' of the front part of the joxers:

Are you at home with your wife?  If yes, have you helped make her day as easy as possible?

Follow up Tweet:

If yes, offer her wine and proceed with caution.  If no, offer her wine and think of any unappealing image of your choice, and go away.



6 comments:

  1. I know I shouldn't read your posts when I am at work because, unless I am on my own (which I am sometimes just not today !!!), it's very hard to stifle loud laughs !!!
    Have the best day - can't wait to see the apps available - I will definitely be in the market to purchase !
    Me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anything that makes work more fun is a good thing. I feel that your employer should pay me a consultant fee in the name of employee wellbeing. Could you possibly put that to them?

      Delete
  2. That was just so funny. You've set me up for a good day - thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad. May it be as awesome as possible!

      Delete
  3. This was hilarious - thanks for the laugh, I needed it!

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...