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Monday, July 22, 2013

A week of small victories

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It’s the little things that give me the most joy. 

Like finding a couple of mini M&M’s in my bedside table. 

I think the kids had them the other day.

Ok that’s a lie – it was about a week ago.  I remember it clearly because not one of them would share with me.

So I waited until they were all in bed with me last night, and then I pulled out the 4 tiny little chocolates and ate them in front of them.

I made those tiny morsels last as long as I possibly could, for maximum effect and devastation.  It really did make the chocolate taste even better. 

Like finally ridding #1Hubby’s wardrobe of one of its crimes against 80’s fashion. 

A certain dark green double breasted suit jacket has been a bone of contention since we first moved in together in the late 90’s.

Once or twice a year I slowly and stealthly move it to the back of his wardrobe, hoping he won’t notice.  When I think I’m in the clear I wrap it in a bag, put that in another bag, and hide it in the boot of the car to go to the local Op Shop.

Without fail, he decides to clean the car before I’ve had time to offload it.

Or we receive an invite to an 80’s themed dress up party and he’s madly looking for his beloved jacket, while being all disgustingly gloaty and victorious and “SEE, I TOLD YOU I’D STILL NEED IT!”

Not this time.  It’s been gone for almost a year and he hasn’t noticed.  I know this for a fact because I marked it in my diary, so that I may triumphantly be all “IN YOUR FACE!” when the magical 12 month anniversary takes place (our agreed time frame – if you haven’t used it in a year, then you don’t need it).  It’s something I will then continue to celebrate annually, much like birthdays. 

Like finally getting one over on a telesales caller 

I can always work out when a telesales caller is on the phone before they even speak  – usually denoted by the massive delay as I keep saying “hello, is anyone there? Hello?”… before a quick ringing tone and then their ye distant but allegedly local foreign accent comes over the phone.

At which point it’s hard to claim “sorry, no understandy" or “no I’m not the resident…I’m just…err….answering their phone…”. 

I finally got them last week.

I realised before I said hello, and so waited for them to speak first before assuming my best 4 year old child persona.

When they said hello, I blew in the phone and copied everything they said in a child-like voice.

When they asked for my Mummy, I said she was busy drinking wine (it was about 10am).

They paused and then hung up.

I’m hoping they’re so outraged by the kind of person who would be drunk at 10am, allowing their toddler to run riot, that they won’t bother trying to call back and sell me something / fix my computer / scam my scammable stuffs.

Like I said, it’s the little victories that give me the greatest joy.

And it’s been a good week in that respect.

Here's hoping the winning streak continues this week as I hit the US, and I do not get lost and wind up murdered in an alley for my pinkie finger like watching Criminal Minds has prepared me for.

Fingers crossed.




  1. Ha ha, I love your style. I 'll have to copy your 'how to deal with telemarketers' strategy. They drive me insane and I'd like a little revenge. Usually, when they ask to speak to the manager I pretend I'm the tea lady - which I am so technically it's not a lie even though I'm manager as well. Or alternatively I'll just say no and hang up.

  2. My kids usually fight to get to the phone if they think it's a telemarketer, they love messing with them. Their favourite is those scam ones that call and try and persuade you that your computer has a virus, my kids will spend ages stringing them along, it's a legitimate form of entertainment at our place!

  3. Excellent - thanks for one of the best ways I have heard to treat telemarketers - can't wait for a call so I can try it out !!!
    Have the best time in the US - and please come home safely - I'd miss you if you weren't here !!!


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