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Friday, July 12, 2013

FFS!? Friday : It's all in the planning

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I like to think of myself as a planner.

In planning our family I considered but one single factor - ensuring I was not pregnant over the festive period.  Lest I have to forego our family tradition of Christmas Sangria or New Year's Eve boozing.

It worked perfectly with Miss7 who celebrates her birthday October 10th.  Which also, conveniently, falls during the school holidays, thus meaning I never have to mass produce cake pops or cup cakes with fancy toppers for her classmates.  Hell, I don't even have to hold a birthday party for 30 of her closest friends for the price of my left kidney on Ebay.

No FFS!? right there.

We were a little off with planning the Twin Tornado, and I suffered through the hottest summer on record and a full festive season while heavily pregnant, until their eventual arrival January 6th. 

I still have not forgiven them for that. FFS!?

Regardless, all 3 kids birthday's fall within a couple of months of Christmas.

A slight planning fail, making that whole time of year extra financially draining.  FFS!?

To help ease the financial pain and ensure I'm not sacrificing bubbly for Barbie dolls, I like to plan and purchase their birthday and Christmas giftage in advance at the annual June/July toy sales.

My usual gift planning tradition is to pick whaver is heavily reduced in the toy sale catalogues and just hope that The Feral Threesome will like it months later when their birthdays and Christmas eventually arrive.

If I remember what I bought all those months prior...
I recently found a Wiggles music set that was intended for Miss7 on her 2nd birthday....FFS!?

If I remember where I hid all the presents...
The other week I uncovered two massive Crayola and Playdoh tubs of assorted products.  How the hell can you possibly miss two massive tubs?  I bought them in 2006 and it's taken me SEVEN YEARS to find them again....FFS!?

If they haven't already found it mere days after I hid it...
Last year I had an awesome electronic Dinosaur Train T-Rex for a then Mstr3, which his twin sister casually walked into the living room with 2 days after I'd bought and supposedly hidden it.....FFS!?

So this year I decided to pick a theme for each child.

I figured it would help reduce the fighting and bitch slapping over which toy belongs to which child and therefore who has the right to be licking it.  No FFS!? (if it works).

And so everything was bought and hidden last week, job done.  No FFS!?

Until I saw the trampolines and realised I could get them a group gift that will both save my sanity in the warmer months and promote physical activity....where's my mother of the year award for that?

We ditched their last trampoline months ago when it broke.  #1Hubby was against getting a new one because it takes up so much of our limited backyard area.

And I have to admit, having just had our patio re-done, our townhouse's limited courtyard space does look so nice and big and open without a trampoline.

But screw that, I am not having them inside all the time, making it difficult for me to hear/watch/study my role models, The Real Housewives of all the World, over their yelping.  FFS!?

So despite his whiney protests, I ordered a trampoline.

To placate him I ordered one that will fit right in the corner of our yard, hardly taking up any of the paved patio area. 

And I got a great package deal that includes a genius all-weather cover which converts it into a cubby house.  Hello year-round outdoors entertainment too!  No FFS!?

I am such a planning genius like that.

Of course we'll need to have a few palm trees removed in order to fit the trampoline in the corner.  No biggie.

Except it turns out that it is quite a biggie.

The kidney I've avoided selling on Ebay thanks to the kids having their birthdays in school holidays will now need to be sold to fund the removal of the palm trees.  FFS!?

At a cost THREE TIMES more than the bloody trampoline with all the fancy bells and whistles and extras.  FFS!?

#1Hubby is all kinds of gloaty 'I told you so', while quickly pointing out that the exorbitant cost of palm tree removal will be coming out of my festive wine fund and not his wanky beer fund.  FFS!?

What's the bet that The Feral Threesome will be all 'Oh...yay...another trampoline....we wanted a swing set..."  FFS!?


  1. I have missed 3 festive seasons thanks to pregnancy, never again!!
    I love the idea of an all weather cubby house/trampoline and will sell my soul to get one!! The less time the kids are in the house the cleaner it will stay, reducing my housework freeing up more time for fun stuff!!

    1. OMG, you are a saint! Sacrificing your festive enjoyment for procreation THREE TIMES...that or you had poor self control and planning skills 9 months prior to the 3 festive seasons, heh.

      Seriously though, check out JumpStar Trampolines (they're on FB and have a website). They're based here in Perth, but they have good shipping rates around Aus. The tent covers are due in next month, and they're offering great Xmas layby's. Plus they use the same manufacturer as the all-mighty and pricey Vuly trampolines, but they're far cheaper.

      Not a sponsored post, BTW. I'm just that happy with their service so far!

  2. Maybe along with the kidney that you sell on e-Bay you could sell a portion of your liver and hope that what they leave behind will re-generate sufficiently to cope with whatever you do manage to buy with your festive wine fund !
    Have a great weekend !

    1. Good idea. I'll look into that - better make sure the liver portion has a 'no returns / no refunds' disclaimer.

  3. We bought our kids a swing set as a joint present when they were smaller. The husband spent hours assembling it one christmas eve - and then they were more excited with the bubblewrap that some of the pieces came packaged in... Never again!

    1. Bahaha, I know that feeling. Ours was bikes the Christmas before last. I was so psyched that they all had their own bikes for the first time. They were all OMG...WE HAVE HELMETS! And spent the entire festive period running around everywhere with te helmets on, not that fussed with the bikes.

  4. Pregnancy for me seems to come just in time to take over festive season EVERY TIME!! Beyond that, this year I was 10 weeks along at my damn wedding! What's the point in getting married if you can't drink so much you forget wedding planning FFS??!?

    1. OMG you spent so much money for everyone else to drink at your wedding, and you couldn't?!?! I feel like you deserve a "do over". On a tropical island. With a killer kids club for the offspring.

  5. I would lvoe a trampoline but Hubby doesnt want it to kill the grass.
    I didn't plan number 2 well, he was born on Jan 10th this year.

    1. Thankfully, I don't do grass. We have a paved courtyard/patio area and that sucker handles the trampoline perfectly!

      I feel your festive pain re: the early January arrival.

  6. It's my sons birthday next week so with toy sales I definitely planned it well. Although it seems to always rain (except this year when I have no party planned FFS) when his party is on, meaning I have to do a last minute dash to find an alternative venue.

    1. I think the rain is a decent trade off for guaranteed bargain giftage aroudn his birthday though! I'm going to call that excellent long term planning, right there.

  7. I managed to by some miracle plan this pregnancy quite well. I'm due in two weeks so avoided being huge over summer, but I did have to forgo the alcohol. I had entertained the idea of buying at the toy sales (I know that sounds crazy because my baby isn't even born yet), but then I realised I would probably make the same mistakes. Every time I buy presents early I forget about them and then see other shit I like better so I keep buying stuff for the coming months. SO in the end the kids end up with a shitload of presents and I end up spending way more than I intended. But, my nieces love me for it I'm sure. Thankfully I refrained from the toy sales this time (but only because she will only be 5 months old at Christmas and they didn't have many toys for that age group).

    1. So, essentially, you have learned the lessons pre-birth that have taken me almost 8 years post-birth to learn. You are a genius, and your booze fund will never be empty on account of children's gifts ;-)

      Good luck with the baby!

  8. My timing was completely off - a dry Christmas, a dry New Year's (was discharged from the pre-natal ward that arvo!) so I try to make up for it...3 and a half years later.
    They're not going to want a swing set...they're going to ask for a pool :) (Don't say I didn't warn ya! :))

    1. I'm with you - still making up for it over here too. It will be a life long quest, I suspect. said the P word....

  9. My boys are Sept 14 and December 17th - a week before Xmas FFS! I hate having to buy stuff early but I totally need to - thanks for reminder to get catalogue searching :(

    1. Good luck, and just think of the festive drinks money you'll be saving by getting it at the sales. It will indeed be a merry Xmas!

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