I'll take one in every colour

The Wine Rack

Geddit?

Comfortable sports bra with polyurathane bladder holds 25 ounces (an entire 750ml bottle) of your favourite beverage.

Long drinking tube with easy-to-use on/off valve to control the flow

Shut the front gate.

Have you seen these?

It will give me the appearance of a far more generous cleavage.

At least until I have my first few power sucks.

I do hope the sides drain evenly, lest I look lopsided and uneven?

I'm all about the symmetry.

It will keep my red wine at a nice room / body temperature.

However, I'm not sure how to tackle white wine.  You see, I'm all class and enjoy a few cubes of ice in my white.

Where to place the ice?  Or do I just tape a couple of the kids' school lunch box ice packs on the outside to at least chill my white wine (and further enhance my assets even when the bra has been sucked dry of its contents)?

Will this bad boy maintain the fizz in my bubbly?

Literally, not metaphorically.

I can't tell you how excited I am about this.

This is about the closest I've ever come to bona fide exercise attire.

I love that Amazon has listed them new from $29.95...and 2 used from $27.57...

WTF?

Used?

Did someone dare return theirs, unsatisfied with the results?

I hope they washed it before returning it.

I want one in each colour.

For real.

And maybe a catheter so that I never need to get up from the lounge.

The best thing to happen to wine since the cask was invented.

Screw top bottles come in a close 3rd.