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Oh. Woe. Is. Me.
For the first time ever, we've managed to use up our monthly broadband download quota with 2 weeks to go. FFS!?
My crap parenting has been exposed. FFS!?
I've clearly been parenting via laptop and iPad for the previous 2 weeks of school holidays, given the huge amount of data that The Feral Threesome have apparently downloaded during that time. FFS!?
Which means that I have only myself to blame. FFS!?
And I look really bad. FFS!?
I am going to seriously lose my shit if I spot a Miley Cyrus track on the iTunes list. FFS!?
Any of them. FFS!?
I'm too scared to check the iTunes account for full details of the carnage. FFS!?
Clearly I have not given the kids enough credit when it comes to their computer skills. FFS!?
I must now remember to also shield the keypad while entering my PIN number at the shops. FFS!?
The only thing worse than having the broadband speed shaped is nothing. FFS!?
The shaping coincided with the first week of my 'no booze during the week' policy. FFS!?
Which also coincided with the final week of school holidays. FFS!?
I am some kind of stupid. Stupid with severe masochistic tendencies. FFS!?
I can't even open Facebook. FFS!?
Twitter never refreshes. FFS!?
I lost three last minute Ebay auctions thanks to the woeful refresh rate. FFS!?
There has been no Candy Crushing. FFS!?
I'm working with prehistoric internet speeds. Circa early 1990's. FFS!?
It's been the longest, most painful 10 days of my life, including when The Twin Tornado learnt they could take their own nappies off before pooing. FFS!?
I'm convinced my digital identity will be wiped out by the time we're back up to speed in five days. FFS!?
Oh no - I know how angry I was when K used all our data for the month in two weeks and how frustrated I got waiting for things to happen on the computer - I would probably put your 'no booze during the week' on hold until you have your internet back again !!!
ReplyDeleteIt was like an extreme detox - of booze and my internet addiction!
DeleteOoh, you have my sympathies. Shaping is the WORST. It's like road rage but in the house. Hope it passes quick.
ReplyDeleteOMG that is exactly what it's like!
DeleteI feel your pain. When we moved we were informed we wouldn't be able to get broadband - it would have to be dial up or wireless dongle. I believe I laughed when the call centre first rang, then said, "I'm sorry, what?", then asked if I could call them back, then cried to my husband. It was a tough 6 weeks - and then we found out they'd been lying - halleluiah!
ReplyDeleteGood luck - alcohol will ease your pain.
That would be grounds to move again. Immediately. Lucky they were only LYING. Bastards.
DeleteSeriously it could be worse than Miley Cyrus - they could have been downloading porn. But come to think of it, they're almost the same thing.
ReplyDeleteBahaha, EXACTLY the same
Deletewe ran out of downloads this month as well but it turns out (after numerous increases and discussions with provider) that we were hacked. It makes me feel better to know that is the case, feel free to use that excuse to avoid looking too deeply yourself or kids habits as well...I have :)
ReplyDeleteI'm actually convinced we were hacked too. I finally looked at our usage online, and it was all in one single day. A day we weren't really on the computer much at all. But I'm not prepared to test that theory by actually looking at the iTunes account transactions, just in case.
DeleteI hate running out of internet before the month is up. We have increased the limit every month for the the last 3 months, and STILL it never lasts the month. Lucky I can use my phone carrier to fb and twitter for free, but that time without instagram is very very bleak.
ReplyDeletexx
Argh, I blame the children. A wise person once told me they change their wifi password daily. And the kids don't get the password until they've done their homework and chores. And then it's changed again at night when they are all in bed and should definitely not be on Facebook.
DeleteNo internet?! That is the worst! Terrible that we've all become so dependent on the online world but there you have it. Sounds like it's time for some good old fashioned outdoor fun - oh no!
ReplyDeleteShut up. That is taking it wayyyy too far! But seriously, I did decide to invest in my first parental board game - giant snakes and ladders.
DeleteNever give up alcohol during school holidays. Ever. EVER!
ReplyDeleteClearly I was at my lowest, weakest point when I stupidly thought that idea sounded viable. I plan to make up for lost time this weekend, though.
DeleteAnd yet I remember the days when dial up was all we had and we thought it was fabulous! How ever did we survive?! We used to get busted back to dial up regularly when my niece was staying with us, but since she moved out, oddly enough we've been well under every month...
ReplyDeleteUmmm no drinking during the weekdays, what is your secret??? I've been trying to do that for awhile, and failing for even longer. Sucks to have slow internet, maybe up your quota - we got through half of our 200 GB last month, WAY too much internet shit going on around our place! x
ReplyDelete