FFS!? Friday : Say what you mean

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I love me some Auto Correct fails.  No FFS!?

To see the rest of the Top 30 and have a laugh today, check this out.

So anyway, on to the business of whining....

#1Hubby was away for almost a whole week.  FFS!?

In my solo-parenting days/daze, I paid more attention than usual to The Feral Threesome.  FFS!? / No FFS!?

I'm not sure how long it's been going on, but The Twin Tornado have some language issues.  FFS!?

And I don't think I can cough up a lung and hock it on Ebay to fund Speech Therapy for these language issues.  FFS!?

Mstr4 excitedly yelled out from the shower the other day:

"MUMMY! I'M PLAYING WITH MY NUTS!"

I was all kinds of Oh FFS...do I really have to deal with this?  FFS!?

And I wouldn't have, had #1Hubby been home to do his manly, fatherly duty on the boy-bits front.  FFS!?

But in his absence, I took one for the team and headed in to the bathroom, only to see Mstr4 poking his knee caps.

While saying to his sisters:

"LOOK GIRLS! I'M PLAYING WITH MY NUTS!"

I'm not sure if I'm more relieved that he wasn't actually playing with his nuts, or that he clearly doesn't have a clue what his nuts are.  No FFS!?

For her part, his twin sister has been getting around lately sporting her own kind of insults and taunts.

I've repeatedly had to reprimand Miss4 for calling her older sister the following:

• A Blingle
• A blue traffic light
• A clown bird

It's really hard to reason with a 4 year old who is far smarter than I, when I can't tell her why it's so wrong to call her sister a blue traffic light, other than to say that there are no blue traffic lights.  FFS!?

When I told her the same re: clown birds, she then started calling her sister a Nemo.  Clearly she had originally meant clown fish and not clown bird, but that's irrelevant now because OMG the fighting over being called a Nemo is incessant.  FFS!?

I can only imagine what they are saying at school.  FFS!?

If I get hauled in by the teachers to explain it, I'm totally going to claim I have no clue what they're talking about, that I've never ever heard any of it, and clearly they've learnt it all off other kids in their class.