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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Christmas gift ideas for your friends

My girlfriends are more important to me than Vodka.

Maybe.

It's a close call.

It really depends on the day.

If they always came with vodka then there'd be no contest.

Anyway, because my girls are so awesome and all that, and also because we have a long term plan to make it official and become Sister Wives, I feel it's really important to put a lot of time and effort into finding the right gifts for them.



Slimming Mirror
The Skinny Mirror - $200 but you can't really put a price on slimming

If I could, I'd buy one for all the women of the world.

Fucked if I have a clue how it works.

Who cares?

As long as we like what we see in the mirror, that's all that matters.

Now I'm going to go get some cake and cut up my Spanx while waiting for my Skinny Mirror to arrive.



Notebook for cool bitches
Bitches Imma Holler At Notebook 2 pack - $9.99

It's a little bit retro, a little bit old school, 100% bad ass.

Because every bitch needs a notebook to keep her cocktail nights, wine bar bashes, bar hopping dates in.  And also all the notes on why her man is an ass so she doesn't forget them when she gets together with her bitches and complains about his no good self.

I feel like we need a cut, a gang sign and matching bandanna's to go with these too, right Bitches?

Peace Out Homeys.



Arse Undies
Butt Reveal Underwear - $60
Baby got back!

And baby can cancel her gym membership too, thanks to these perky arsed undies.

Stop the squats and start skulling the wine.

$60 for a pair of these is far more economical than an annual gym membership.  Way to save money!



Barbie Bra
Barbie Doll Head Bra - $45
Shut the front gate.

I LOVED Barbie as a kid!

Actually, truth be told, I was more a fan of Gem and The Misfits.  But I can't find a Gem and The Misfits Doll Head Bra, so this will have to do.

Relive your childhood with the bra adorned with Barbie doll heads.

Because that's totally what I did with my Barbie Dolls when I was a little girl.....?

Enhances your natural bust and cup size, albeit in a rather lumpy, hairy, and totally weird way.



Vibrating Bike Seat
Vibrating Bicycle Seat - $43

I have to make this one quick, as I'm off to buy a bike.

Women the world over will suddenly develop a new love of exercise.

There will be traffic jams across the globe, but not involving cars.

Giddyup.




8 comments:

  1. I hate cycling but I'd be willing to give it another shot if I had one of those seats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's about where I'm at too. Maybe just an exercise bike so it's stationery for my own safety.

      Delete
  2. Woah - this really gives new meaning to the phrase "town bike". You're a genius PP.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wish you were my best friend - I could do with all of these, especially the bike seat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It sounds way wrong to say that we could share

      Delete
  4. hey guess what? I HAVE a skinny mirror. I was going to write a post about it, but I'll let you in on the secret first.
    Buy a cheap full length mirror from the reject shop. The kind you are supposed to hang on the back of a door or adhere to the wall. Do not do either of those things. Instead, lean it against the wall. The mirror will bow in the middle a little bit. It will create the skinny mirror effect. The result is natural looking instead of funhouse mirror crazy. it is so subtle, yet appealing that you will start to actually think you look like that.
    Results are immediate - I now look super hot in jeans and my legs are nice and long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shut up! No way! I am totally going to do that. And then carry it around with me everywhere, so that I may show all the people how awesome it makes me look, rather than allowing them to look at the non skinny mirror version and judge me.

      Delete

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