My girlfriends are more important to me than Vodka.
It's a close call.
It really depends on the day.
If they always came with vodka then there'd be no contest.
Anyway, because my girls are so awesome and all that, and also because we have a long term plan to make it official and become Sister Wives, I feel it's really important to put a lot of time and effort into finding the right gifts for them.
|The Skinny Mirror - $200 but you can't really put a price on slimming|
If I could, I'd buy one for all the women of the world.
Fucked if I have a clue how it works.
As long as we like what we see in the mirror, that's all that matters.
Now I'm going to go get some cake and cut up my Spanx while waiting for my Skinny Mirror to arrive.
Notebook for cool bitches
|Bitches Imma Holler At Notebook 2 pack - $9.99|
It's a little bit retro, a little bit old school, 100% bad ass.
Because every bitch needs a notebook to keep her cocktail nights, wine bar bashes, bar hopping dates in. And also all the notes on why her man is an ass so she doesn't forget them when she gets together with her bitches and complains about his no good self.
I feel like we need a cut, a gang sign and matching bandanna's to go with these too, right Bitches?
Peace Out Homeys.
|Butt Reveal Underwear - $60|
Baby got back!
And baby can cancel her gym membership too, thanks to these perky arsed undies.
Stop the squats and start skulling the wine.
$60 for a pair of these is far more economical than an annual gym membership. Way to save money!
|Barbie Doll Head Bra - $45|
Shut the front gate.
I LOVED Barbie as a kid!
Actually, truth be told, I was more a fan of Gem and The Misfits. But I can't find a Gem and The Misfits Doll Head Bra, so this will have to do.
Relive your childhood with the bra adorned with Barbie doll heads.
Because that's totally what I did with my Barbie Dolls when I was a little girl.....?
Enhances your natural bust and cup size, albeit in a rather lumpy, hairy, and totally weird way.
Vibrating Bike Seat
|Vibrating Bicycle Seat - $43|
I have to make this one quick, as I'm off to buy a bike.
Women the world over will suddenly develop a new love of exercise.
There will be traffic jams across the globe, but not involving cars.