Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket

Monday, November 18, 2013

Dyson DC59 Review : It sucks, but in a good way

So I took part in a product trial and review.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

#1Hubby laughed to the point of choking when a Dyson DC59 vacuum arrived on our doorstep.

He asked if I knew which end was up, then took to Facebook to publicly name and shame my vacuuming prowess...

...while I thought of other uses for the super powerful device.

But I can't tell you those because the internet is forever and I may incriminate myself at a later date.

What can I possibly say about the Dyson DC59 that isn't already obvious because, duh, it's a Dyson, and they know vacuum cleaners.

In my personal experience over the course of this trial, it is:

Easy to use

So easy, in fact, that one could do it with one hand while enjoying a refreshing beverage

Glass near empty. Angry face due to how many shots it took to get the Dyson and me minus 3 chins and 2 stomachs in the shot, without the piles of crap I shifted to the lounge so my house would look semi clean for the pic.  Blogging is hard work.


Which may sound obvious, being that it is cordless, but I've had some absolute clunkers in my time.  Machines that require a bodybuilder to push, cordless or otherwise.  Which would be nice to watch, except I don't know any bodybuilders prepared to push my vacuum.

It's so mobile and easy to push that one could effectively operate the Dyson DC59 while draped on the lounge enjoying a coffee and some reality TV, vacuuming up the cake crumbs.

Life imitating art : REAL Housewife watching the "Real" Housewives of the world.

It totally sucks, the suckiest of all suckers

It is a super sucking machine.  Well, literally.  I'm not going to gross you out with pics of the volume of hair and fluff this bad boy picked up from my carpet and floors.  Lest I out my other poorly housekeeping skills.

In the interest of an honest review, here's the only two issues I had with the machine:

Firstly, the battery run time is 20 minutes.  I have three feral, dirty, children and one man child (but not me, I'm all flowers and cleanliness).  20 minutes wasn't quite enough for #1Hubby me to do our entire house.  I imagine it would be perfect for a unit or apartment or anyone not in possession of multiple dirty people.

And secondly, it caused a rift of epic proportions.

Like, serious family conflict.

I'm preparing to call in Dr Phil and Judge Judy if we can't resolve this on our own.

I apologise for the massively lengthy segue this product review will now take, but I feel it's important to explain in case I go missing, so you know who to point the finger at...

#1Nana nearly wet herself when she saw a Dyson in my presence.  Because she knows I don't do vacuuming, and also because, hello, it is a DYSON.

So she took it for a spin and immediately fell madly and deeply in vacuum love.

Knowing that I had the option to buy the machine at the end of the trial, #1Nana was immediately all slimy and nice to me and suggested I speak to #1Pop about getting it for her for Christmas.

And so I arranged it, thus bearing the wrath of an inexplicably emotional and whiney #1Hubby, who had apparently been under the impression that saying I wasn't returning it, meant I'd be buying it for him for Christmas.

Which totally makes my planned gift of scratchies and a Bunnings gift card look a little "myeh...".

Seriously, it has been like Domestic War in our family ever since.

He says:

"I'm your husband, I've been vacuuming this house since the dawn of time, and if you ever want me to do it again you will buy me this machine or forever suffer the dust encrusted consequences while clearly proving that you don't love me and the past 17 years together have meant nothing to you."

She says:

"I'm old and can't push a big vacuum around like I used to.  Let me enjoy my final vacuuming years in luxury and safety, not risking popping a hip pushing around the heavy old vacuum I currently use when preparing the house for my darling grandchildren who I also frequently babysit for you.  Also, I gave birth to you and that trumps everything. EVERYTHING."

We're known for our overly dramatic stance on things.

And so I am currently suffering under the hurty eyes of #1Hubby, absolutely filthy at me for handing him a taste of the good life and then snatching it away.

He's not been the same since he had to revert back to our old clunker of a vacuum.

I'm not sure, but I thought I saw him stroke a picture of a Dyson DC59 in a newspaper advertisement.

Would I buy a Dyson DC59?


But not until #1Hubby's birthday next year.

Because I am all about giving the gift that keeps on giving.

I'm not a vacuumer.  I was skeptical about paying so much for an appliance that doesn't produce cocktails and/or macarons.  But I can honestly say that I can absolutely see the value in this machine.  It works quickly and effectively, which is super important to someone who hates wasting time on cleaning when there are Ebay auctions to be won, Facebook profiles to trawl, and Twitter witticisms to be crafted.

To quote someone far more verbally succinct than I:

"The latest Dyson Digital Slim DC59 vacuum is lightweight, cordless, and packs the same power as a mains vacuum cleaner.  RRP $649 for the Animal model and $599 for the Multi floor.  Find the new Dyson Digital Slim at"

Want to know more?  For full statistics and technical specifications, check out the DC59 on the Dyson website.

Win your own 2 week trial with a Dyson DC59, plus a 20% discount code to keep it when you realise you can't possibly part with it after 2 weeks

For your chance to win, complete the entry form below, answering this question:

What problems would you like Dyson's engineers to solve in your home?

For me, it would be cloning.  Cloning the DC59 so that I can be the hero and keep both #1Hubby and #1Nana happy.  Before cloning myself and George Clooney so that one of me and the other George can skip off merrily into the sunset while the other one of me maintains the domestic front and the other George maintains the facade that he's not remotely interested in settling down and becoming a one-woman man.

When can I expect something like that, oh great and clever Dyson engineers?

The Fine Print:
  • Entries close midnight (WST), Sunday 24th November
  • Entry is open to Australian residents only
  • Winner will be notified via email
  • Winner has seven (7) days to respond before I shake my head at their missed opportunity to greatly reduce their cleaning efforts and conduct a re-draw
  • Winner will then be contacted by a Dyson representative to arrange the product trial


  1. This is a machine that's destined to cause marital disharmony. I went with a friend last week to help buy a vacuum and she ended up with just this one. She lives in a unit, has no pets or children and a fairly house-trained husband so it was perfect for her. She got it home and proceeded to run the battery down after fighting with her hubby about who got to use it first. Their marriage barely survived the four hours that it took to recharge. There were accusations and recriminations. And I have developed a severe case of vacuum-envy. But I'd like the mega-sucking pet-hair removing version. I can't believe I'm considering asking for it for Christmas.

    1. It's certainly caused a change in our marriage - we now fight over who gets to do the vacuuming, not who has to do it. Seriously. I wish I was kidding.

  2. That is quite hilarious that your hubby actually wrote a FB status on it. I would have to sell a child to afford one even at a discounted rate. But I YEARN for such a machine that makes household not as bad as plucking leg hairs out with tweezers!! Love the multi-tasking pic BTW!

    1. I was initially mortified and all like "Dude! That is a PR thing. How could you?" But once I saw that, for the most part, everyone was sticking up for me, I decided to name and shame him in a blog post. Totally one-upped him.

  3. Winner Winner Chicken Dinner - Rosie F - Check your email!

  4. Since I bought robot vacuum cleaner, I have plenty of time. It does all the work. Greetings

  5. Your post is really awesome and helpful.

  6. I love the pictures and the humour! You really made me laugh and you reminded me of those old TV shops, where everyone hated cleaning, and their new vacuums were so good, that people would never have to clean again. Very unrealistic, but appealing as an idea. And I agree, 20 minutes is nowhere near enough to vacuum the entire house.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...