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Friday, November 15, 2013

FFS!? Friday : Happy Birthday to me



#1Hubby has been relentlessly taking the piss out of me in the lead up to today.  FFS!?

In his opinion, 35 is not a big deal birthday.  FFS!?

I beg to differ.  As far as I'm concerned, once you hit 30, every 5 and 10 year birthday is cause for celebration.

Not that it matters much to him, because he won't make it to 45 for his next big celebration at this rate.  FFS!?

At 21 I was newly married and didn't much understand the whole fuss about turning 21 and becoming an adult.  Because, in my opinion, I'd already nailed it by getting married - the ultimate in grown up actions and celebrations.

At 30 I was exceptionally pregnant with the Twin Tornado.  I would've eaten anyone who dared show up to celebrate.

Last year I was all toxic in ICU.  Even though it wasn't a milestone birthday, it wasn't celebrated at all.  Unless you count eating without a tube for the first time in a week, and being allowed to go to the toilet unassisted.

So today I am 35 and I want to celebrate.

Clearly I am maturing, as it's the first time I've strayed from my usual proclamations of being perpetually 24.

I did try that one on, one last time, and the smarmy little twat serving me at the bottle shop  openly sniggered.  FFS!?

I have vowed never ever to set foot in that bottle shop again.  FFS!?

As if.  FFS!?

I can remember a time, not too many years ago, when declaring myself 24 was only met with doubtful smiles and mild skepticism.  FFS!?

So now that I'm coming to terms with my rapid decline, I have started my first ever skin care regime.  No FFS!?

When I say 'skin care regime', what I really mean is using up all the sample sachets of various body creams that I've amassed over the years in a mildly panicked and futile attempt to stop the aging process via Vaseline Intensive Care and Oil of Olay sachets.  FFS!?

I have been falling asleep at night before the kids.  A true sign of age.  FFS!?

And I've been waking obscenely early.  I am only 10 minutes shy of the elderly who meander through their gardens in floral flannelette nighties with cups of tea at 5am.  FFS!?

Gone are the days of wishing for killer heels and party dresses.  Instead, I'm coveting a stick blender and a mixer.  FFS!?

In recognising my new elderly status, I am spending today partying hard.  No FFS!?

Because by tonight I will probably have a headache, sore bones, and need a lie down by 5pm.  FFS!?

I remember when I used to party like Britney, yo.  FFS!?

Don't even get me started on the WHITE hair I found in my fringe.  FFS!?






20 comments:

  1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
    I hope you have the best day ever - will be thinking of you reaching for the blue rinse this weekend - LOL
    Just think - 35 is the new 30 !!! (Of so they keep telling me except the figures are only 2 yrs shy of 50 !!!!)
    Have the best day !
    Me

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! It was so awesome it took 2 weeks to get over. Not really, I just haven't gotten around to responding to the blog comments until now. I totally had a quick nana nap at 4pm on the big day too.

      If 35 is the new 30 and I formerly claimed to be 25, that's like saying I was 20. Yes?

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  2. Happy Birthday Padwan. Whinge to me again when you are 43!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you and I totally will. Because I am a self diagnosed slight dyslexic, I will be claiming 34.

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  3. Happy Birthday! When my mother reached her 35th we wrote 'happy half of life' on her birthday card because we had been so indoctrinated at Sunday School that we knew everyone died when they turned 3 score and ten. She was incensed and has showed us by living to 75 years and counting just to prove us wrong.

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    Replies
    1. I come from a long line of really old people. I'm expecting triple digits. Which means I'm going all out when I turn 50, to celebrate my own half of life. I may twerk.

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  4. Happy birthday! Get on to that skin care, you will thank yourself in 10 years.
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you and I have been onto it. At least 3 or 4 days since then. Which still counts, right?

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  5. Happy Birthday! And 35 is a great number to celebrate. Cheers! x

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  6. Happy Birthday!!!! Wait until you spot a white hair in your EYEBROWS FFS. That's what popped on birthday number 36. Enjoy your day, you spring chicken.

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    Replies
    1. Oh I've totally been living with white brow hairs for at least 3 years now. I'm expecting the problem to go away when I become brow-free in a few years, on account of plucking out all of the whites.

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  7. Happy Birthday! It's only 4pm so hopefully your still partying hard!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks lovely - was nappy in on the couch at 4pm. Like a rock star.

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  8. Happy birthday!! Hope it was awesome and involved wine, lots of wine!!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! And it certainly did. I required a nap and lots of water before having more with dinner.

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  9. A belated Happy Birthday, well at least you are in higher spirits than a year ago, onwards and upwards from here. I think that I'll always feel okay about my age because my hubby will always be 6 years older than me! I heard white hairs are a sign of growing old wisely ;) I know what a load of bullocks that is!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you - and so true. #1Hubby is 5 1/2 years older than me (the extra 1/2 makes all the difference)

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  10. Happy Birthday! Would you believe I have had a giant, full bottle of wine sized, wine glass sitting in its box for months. Someone gave it to me and I had it put aside to regift to you should I ever run into you at a blogging event, and then I think I saw you post a photo using the exact same glass the other day! Hope you had a wonderful day and got spoilt xx

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! No way! That is awesome. We could do a cyber wine night. Entire bottled sized glasses over the interwebs!

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