Tis that time of year - office parties, boobs and backside selfies old school style, on ye olde worlde office photocopier.
And Secret Santa.
I love a good Secret Santa. It's the chance to let your colleagues know exactly what you think without actually saying anything or owning it.
Today I've put together a selection of gifts suitable for your colleagues, beloved besties or bitches.
|Office Monkeys $17.95|
Put it in the kitchen and label each monkey. Set them up in positions of varying appropriateness and horror. An excellent passive aggressive way to ensure everyone knows what you think of them.
Now to bring the post down to my preferred level - toilet humour!
|Giant Toilet Mug $14.95|
Obviously the gift for the co-worker who talks the most shit.
Life imitating art or something like that.
Here's hoping they get the hint.
A Crappy Pen
|Poo Pen $3.95|
Sick of your pens being stolen?
If you're the boss, you can kit the whole office out with Poo Pens. Excellent employee gift, right there.
Nobody will ever steal a pen again. Guaranteed.
Or buy one for yourself. Guaranteed nobody will steal your pen again.
Also goes well with the Giant Toilet Mug for the douche who's always talking shit.
Urinal Cake Kit
|Personalised Urinal Cake Kit|
Normally $9.95, on sale for $4.95 - bargain!
Who doesn't want their chance to piss on the boss?
It's also multi-functional - Employee stress relief and it would almost certainly improve aim and greatly reduce the amount of toilet seat dribble and pissing on the floor.
Stay tuned next week as I bring it closer to home, with Christmas gift ideas for your neighbours.