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Tuesday, February 11, 2014

TV highs and lows

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Sweet niblets! I don't know what's worse - the Achy Breaky mullet, or this?

I am a huge fan of all forms of electronic babysitting.

I could lie and claim I completely disapprove, but in the interest of honesty - I love me some iPad or Dora downtime.

Which was working fine, until we were approached to become one of the Australian TV ratings households.

Initially, I thought, great, this should be fun!  Oh the responsibility of representing the ratings of thousands of families in our same demographic!

I am an easily excited stay at home mother, don't judge.

And so we said yes and the ratings equipment was installed.

Then I read the fine print and realised that my blogging came under the possible conflict of interest categories, being that I have written about movies and TV shows.

I fretted a ridiculous amount that they would remove us.  The excitement could have been over before it had even begun!

But they looked into it, even checking my blog content and what I'd written previously about ratings relevant content, and I was given the OK.  Just as long as I didn't disclose the fact that we were a ratings household to any PR or relevant company.

Which meant not blogging about it.

And that, my friends, has been sheer agony.

So many potential blog posts regarding my many freak outs over the kids incorrectly registering that I am watching Hannah Montana instead of themselves.  Oh the shame of having some random stranger in the ratings head office think that I, an adult, would be watching a kids show.

Then immediately assuming that they would think I was watching it in order to perve on an older Billy Ray Cyrus sans mullet.  I really, really wanted to ring them and explain that it wasn't me, that I don't have a thing for older Billy Ray.  #1Hubby thought that was unnecessary and convinced me not to.

But if you're reading this, Nielsen peeps, I was not the one watching Hannah Montana, and I do not have a thing for the modern day streaked, layered, beach haired Billy Ray, k?

So many missed blog posts about my angsty parenting moments on account of the volume of TV babysitting I relied on over the various school holidays in the past few years that we've been doing the ratings.

Imagining more judgy, disapproving ratings people noting the later hours I was allowing the kids to watch TV at night over school holidays (which was not TV babysitting per se, but was actually me trying to get them to sleep in a bit later in the mornings, which is totally acceptable understandable, right?).

I was pretty sure they were compiling it all into a report to send to the authorities so that they could investigate my clearly crap parenting.

I was convinced that the meter box was sending all our sordid TV viewing secrets across the internet waves to a group of people, sitting in an office, laughing at how I occasionally watched The Bold and the Beautiful (but only while waiting for the News to start, I swear).  Judging me.

The meters were removed last week, due to a fault with one of the boxes.  So now we are just another regular household.

I'm a little disappointed.

No more panicked squealing at the kids "WHO IS WATCHING?!?!?!" because they've forgotten to register themselves when they turn the TV on.

What will I do with all that spare time now?

Life has not changed at all (save for no longer having that box next to the TV, and feeling far less anxious about mentally adding up the volume of crap reality TV I watch in a week).  But I do feel decidedly less special, less exciting.

Fingers crossed I am approached by a market research company wanting to test a new range of "totally not harmful" skin care products or something.


  1. I will blame you when my fav shows get axed and replaced with repeats of Hanna Montana.

    1. The thought of that weighs heavily on me. I fear Billy Ray is aware of this, because he has just released a new song in preparation for his return to fame. Again. Again, again.

  2. I don't think I would have coped with it at all. I would have had to switch from reality tv (who doesn't like the Bachelor?) to ABC/SBS. It's a bit like someone judging your groceries at the supermarket and feeling so guilty about the chips, chocolate and Tim Tams that you keep mentioning a totally fictitious birthday party to the checkout chick.

    1. OMG it is exactly like that! I feel like saying "I do my fruit and veg shopping at a green grocer. This is just the non-preishables for the month. Quit judging me by my 2 minute noodles!"


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