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Friday, March 7, 2014

FFS!? Friday : Pets

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Because, duh....obviously they go hand in hand.

It's a well known fact that I am forever patting myself on the back and marvelling over the fact that I have thus far been able to sustain the lives of The Feral Threesome.  No FFS!?

No major illness or injury, no severe emotional scarring.  No FFS!?

Substantial and frequent questionable parenting, but nobody is perfect.

As if to test the limits of my abilities, the kids have been whining for a pet lately.  FFS!?

I struggle to maintain human life, how do they expect me to add to the quota with a pet?  FFS!?

I've explained to them that I'm maxed out as it is.  One of the living beings would suffer.  FFS!?

But still they persist.

And my kids aren't even the types to proclaim their pet management skills like others do while trying to bargain for a furry family member.  They tell it like it is and still display utter disgust and contempt when I knock them back.  FFS!?

Me:      Why do you want a pet?
Them:  Because our friends have a cat/dog/guinea pig/rabbit/fish/birds

Me:      You know we travel a lot, right?
Them:  Yes
Me:      So that means we aren't home all the time to look after a pet.
Them:  It can go to Daycare
Me:      No it can't
Them:  Yes it can
Me:      They don't have Daycare for pets
Them:  Fine, we'll get a babysitter
Me:      ......

Me:      You know someone has to look after a pet every day, right?
Them:  Oh yes Mummy, we know.

Me:      Will you feed it?
Them:  No, you can do that when you feed us.

Me:      Will you fill its water up?
Them:  No, you can do that when you feed it.

Me:      Will you walk it and play with it?
Them:  We will pat it when we watch TV.
Them:  Sometimes.  But not all the time.

At least they are being honest / realistic.  FFS!?

Does a virtual pet count?

I'm pretty sure I could keep a virtual pet alive between Facebook updates and Ebay purchases.


  1. Don't shoot the messenger here and perhaps not one near you but there is in fact a doggy daycare around the corner from where I live with a waiting list. $35 a day. :|

  2. Two words - pet rock. They can paint/draw it themselves, take it for walks, bathe it whenever they want, it is cheap to feed and when they are sick of it they can safely ignore it. Could probably even travel with you.

  3. I'd go for a goldfish. They're not a long-term commitment and if you're sneaky and clever (and let's face it, we know you are) you can make up a story about why the fish is floating on the top of the tank (practicing backstroke worked on my kids) and replace the fish once the kids are at school.

    1. Can't even bring myself to clean the pool regularly, let alone a fish tank. Next.


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