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Friday, August 29, 2014

FFS!? Friday : Have you lost weight?

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Golden Rule : Never ask after someone's weight unless you know, without a doubt, that they have lost weight.

Obvious, right?

Not to kids who know nothing but brutal honesty.  FFS!?

It all started with some one-on-one time.

The other night, Miss5 was cuddling up to me in bed.  It was one of those rare, loving, mother-daughter moments.  No FFS!?

Which she promptly ruined:

      Miss5:  Mummy, you look like you losed weight.

      Me:      Really?

      Miss5:  Yeah.  Did you loseded weight Mummy?

      Me:      I don't know, but I don't think so.

      Miss5:  Well I think you did.

      Me:      Well thank you love, that's a nice thing to say.

      Miss5:  I know you losed weight because your head looks bigger.

Because my head looks bigger.  FFS!?

Five years old and she's mastered the back-handed compliment.  FFS!?

Is it even possible for your head to get bigger?

How could she tell, lying down in bed, blankets covering the rest of me.  FFS!?

I mean, really, I think it's a bit of an unfair judgement call on her part.  She wasn't really assessing me from my best angle.  FFS!?

I was so tempted to retalliate by saying that she has a lovely shaped eyebrow.  As in singular.  As in mono-brow.  FFS!?

But I'm above that, because I'm her mother and she learns from my examples.

So, instead, I just outed her monobrow on the internet.  Heh.

I do love my kids, but sometimes they make it really hard.  FFS!?


  1. My kids tell me a look like a teenage - often LOVE them. It could also be the way I dress (not like a lady hmm)

  2. bahaha monobrow. My kids do the same to me. "I want to sit on Mum while we watch TV, her bum's bigger". Little poops

  3. the kid is a genius. you loose weight because your head is bigger!


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