Golden Rule : Never ask after someone's weight unless you know, without a doubt, that they have lost weight.
Not to kids who know nothing but brutal honesty. FFS!?
It all started with some one-on-one time.
The other night, Miss5 was cuddling up to me in bed. It was one of those rare, loving, mother-daughter moments. No FFS!?
Which she promptly ruined:
Miss5: Mummy, you look like you losed weight.
Miss5: Yeah. Did you loseded weight Mummy?
Me: I don't know, but I don't think so.
Miss5: Well I think you did.
Me: Well thank you love, that's a nice thing to say.
Miss5: I know you losed weight because your head looks bigger.
Because my head looks bigger. FFS!?
Five years old and she's mastered the back-handed compliment. FFS!?
Is it even possible for your head to get bigger?
How could she tell, lying down in bed, blankets covering the rest of me. FFS!?
I mean, really, I think it's a bit of an unfair judgement call on her part. She wasn't really assessing me from my best angle. FFS!?
I was so tempted to retalliate by saying that she has a lovely shaped eyebrow. As in singular. As in mono-brow. FFS!?
But I'm above that, because I'm her mother and she learns from my examples.
So, instead, I just outed her monobrow on the internet. Heh.
I do love my kids, but sometimes they make it really hard. FFS!?