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Friday, September 12, 2014

FFS!? Friday : Top 10 reasons my kids refused dinner this week

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It's funny, until you're living it. Times three

My kids aren't normally terribly fussy eaters.  I'm pretty lucky and they usually eat whatever I make, albeit with some strenuous negotiations / thinly veiled threats on occasion.

This week has been shit.

Beyond shit.

Aside from the usual "I'm not hungry" which is always followed not more than 30 minutes later (usually once the final dishes have been put away) with "Muuuuum...I'm hungryyyyyy".

10.  It smells like poops vomit ahahahhahaha

A delightful reaction to SALAD.  As in fresh, raw, uncooked vegetables.

9.   It's not me...

9a.  Goggerson (Mstr5's stuffed toy) told me not to eat it.
9b.  Unicorn (Miss5's stuffed toy) told me not to eat it.
9c.  I'm not eating it if they're not eating it (Miss8).

8.   I feel sick and I really can't eat it but I can eat sour straps and ice cream and can I have four mandarins instead?

WTF?  Why so many mandarins?

7.   It's looking at me

Because that's what bolognese does, it gives you the evil eye when you sit there pushing it around the plate for 10 minutes before calling it on its intimidation tactics.

6.   I'm seriously truly really allergic

To rice.  Plain, white rice.  The same rice they ate 2 nights prior, and around once a week on average since they were old enough to piss me off.

5.   I ate too much at breakfast yesterday.  I'm still full...but can I get three mandarins if I wake up at night?

Again with the damn mandarins.

4.   It's hurting my mouth.  I'm going to get a maygran.

A couple of things.  Firstly, how can soup hurt your mouth (luke warm, runny soup)?  Secondly, I'm fairly confident soup does not cause migraines.

3.  I'll eat it if I can eat in the toilet.  On the floor.  And I want chopsticks, but not to eat with.

No.  Just, no.

2.   I'll only eat it if I can have a glass of wine.

Hard to fault this one, given the pasta would've gone perfectly with a nice glass of red.  Oh no, wait, silly me - only for ADULTS.

1.   I want fish and chips.

It was fish and chips....

If anyone needs me this weekend I will be rocking in the corner with a  bottle  cask of wine....


  1. I feel your pain - accutely. Have you ever been told that your casserole tastes like " a thousand bugs crawling in my underwear"?

  2. What is it with mandarins??? And you have to love the bartering techniques they come up with!!! Lol!!!

  3. This week I heard "but it's too tricky" and "but I'm frightened" (of eggs FFS!)

  4. "I can't eat the mashed potato- it's gone cold!" And why might that be?! Gah! ;)

  5. Always hungry when the plates have been scraped into the chook bucket! Luckily my two year old is a garbage guts, god help me when she too, becomes a fussy shit!

  6. I was always partial to 'it's disgusting' myself. That one always made me feel like the hour preparing and cooking the meal had been really well spent.

  7. I tried fried rice one day last week. Apparently, it was "disgusting" according to child number 1. I hear you, sister.

  8. making kids eat is really hard. a lot of hard work


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