We've limped through the past 2 weeks of the epic, seemingly endless, school holidays.
The Feral Threesome have fought more than usual (which is a lot).
I've used my 'outside voice' and 'shed words' more than usual I should have.
Tempers have been frayed, my friends. Tempers have been severely frayed.
Finally, today was the day.
A telling sign of my utter joy and relief to hand them off to other, more qualified, people (teachers) was the fact that I am the only mother in my various social networks to not post a 'back to school' pic of my little darlings.
Rather, I was mentally simultaneously high fiving and patting myself on the back for surviving the seven week ordeal, while willing the dodgy knock-off Frozen backpack Miss6 was toting, to hold together for at least the first term.
I broke it trying to zip it up at the end of DAY ONE.
Cue massive, indignant floods of tears - hers, not mine. I went for the totally mature eye roll instead.
HOW COULD I?!?!?!
Woe was her.
Woe was me, because her woe was her was exceptionally loud and anguish-filled.
FEAR NOT, SOUND BARRIER SHATTERING CHILD -
I busted this out, complete with jazz hands (which were a waste of my skillz since none of them actually know what jazz hands are), and the world was suddenly happy again....
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Zak! Australia - Frozen Berg Lunch Bag and Bottle. Now available at Aldi. RRP $8.99 |
Until Mstr6 lost his shit because WHERE'S MIIIIIIINE?!??! HOW COME LIV GOT ONE?!?!?!? WHERE'S MIIIIIIINE?!??!
The extra i's are to indicate the full whiney impact of his girly man tanty.
I have no idea how to write in the foot stamping dance that I am going to record next time, and use as his So You Think You Can Dance audition (I'm going to call it River Dance style Irish dancing, and teach him how to do an Irish accent for added authenticity).
Once again - FEAR NOT, SOUND BARRIER SHATTERING RIVER DANCING FAUX IRISH CHILD -
Because I then busted out (minus jazz hands - not wasting my talents on the unappreciative) a bit of Turtle Power and finally, the world was happy again....
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Zak! Australia - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Berg Lunch Bag and Bottle. Now available at Aldi. RRP $8.99 |
I waited, holding my breath, expecting Miss9 to join the whine-fest. But she had her face stuck in some fashion game and was all whatevs....
Phew.
So, tomorrow, The Twin Tornado will be toting their lunches like this -
Or, if Mstr6 gets his way, in full costume mode, like this -
At this point I'm not fussed either way, as long as they STFU and get ready for school in a timely manner, so that I may obtain an actual parking spot and not a patch of damp, quick-sand-esque dirt that totally ruined my sandals today when I was *slightly* behind schedule on day one.
Thanks to Zak! Australia, I have one of each of these Berg Lunch Bag and Bottle sets to giveaway.
One for a Frozen fanatic, and one for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle nut.
For your chance to win, complete the entry form below:
The Fine Print
- Entry is open to Australian and New Zealand residents only
- Entries open Monday 2 February 2015
- Entries close midnight (WST) Sunday 8 February
- Only entrants who have completed all sections of the entry form will be deemed eligible
- There are two (2) prizes. One (1) Zak Frozen Berg Lunch Bag and Bottle; and one (1) Zak Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Berg Lunch Bag and Bottle.
- Winners will be announced on Facebook Monday 9 February
- Winners have seven (7) days to respond, before I use further inappropriate shed words (if there are any left that I did not bust out over the epic school holidays), and conduct a re-draw.
Entries close midnight (WST) Sunday 8 February
And now I must away and fill said lunch bags for tomorrow.
I am already out of creative ideas.
After one single day.
No fear - I could serve up broccoli coated in sand and the kids will eat it as long as it's served in these bad boys!
This just makes me so happy that I never, ever, ever have to do the back to school thing again. I never have to worry about the bubbles I've created with my inferior contacting skills. And I never have to explain why we have the outdated edition of the Physics text book that costs about $200 new.
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