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Monday, December 22, 2014

The other mother

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This is going to be my new, economical babysitting strategy.


A few weeks ago #1Hubby and I went out to dinner.  We called on our go-to sitter (who works at the kids' before and after school care centre).

The kids nearly crapped themselves with delight in the lead up, more excited about having their beloved sitter come over for the night than they were about Christmas.

Not even kidding.

The night went well, we got home late, the babysitter had a quick chat and left.

I found a few craft items and doll decorations that she had clearly created with the kids.  Where I would normally be all look it's a cartoon on TV! - she was all - how about we sit and do something together?

Bitch was showing me up.

And it worked.

The next morning, Miss5 was her usual dramatic and excitable self, showering me with kisses and love and saying how much she'd missed me the night before.

It was a beautiful, touching, mother daughter moment - until this....

        Me:        So you missed me, Miss5?
        Miss5:   Yep! *More squeezy cuddles and kisses*
        Me:        Did you have fun with "Babysitter"?
        Miss5:   Yep!  So much!
        Miss5:   Hey Muuuum.....
        Me:       Yes baby?
        Miss5:   I wish "Babysitter" could be our Mum too.
        Me:        Say what?
        Miss5:   I wish that "Babysitter" could be our other Mum.



Silence.



Crickets.


Nothing but the sound of oxygen rapidly expelling from my person, a lot like if I'd been PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH.

I am now in all kinds of turmoil.

This sitter is amazing.  She's reliable, responsible, knows the kids, trustworthy - all things you want a babysitter to be.

And far more prone to participating in painful craft activities and role playing with the kids than I am.

I'm going to have to watch my back from now on.

Maybe stack the odds in my favour a little - leave her to dish up a broccoli and spinach filled vegetarian dinner.

Ask her to do double homework with the kids before bed.

Leave the toy room a disaster zone before she arrives, so that she can tyrant manage The Feral Threesome into cleaning it up.

Disconnect the wifi so Miss9 loses her shit.

Disconnect the cable TV box so all three of them lose their shit.

This is war.


Monday, December 15, 2014

Oxo : Salad and cocktails in one. A giveaway

Oxo Good Grips Salad Prep Kit


#1Nana and I have long running debates over.....kitchen utensils.

True story.

Not content with debating life's hard hitting issues and eternal questions, we choose to argue over - 

Can openers
Manual or automatic?
Removal of the entire rim or no?

Lettuce keepers
Fact or retail fiction?

Various fruit/veg specific slicers
Food art useful or kitchen clutterers?

Kitchen scissors
Necessary or not?


Believe me when I tell you this this is just the tip of the iceberg.


There has been but one single kitchen utensil that we both agree on (besides a bottle opener)

Oxo makes the best potato peeler


Check that bad boy out - chunky handle that's easy to grasp, even for old lady hands, and a non-slip, rubberised surface so your hand isn't constantly slipping, risking involuntary DIY skin grafting.

It's a thing of beauty - says the mother of three who is endlessly peeling carrots and potatoes.  And apples when Mstr5 randomly decides that he is, once again, deathly allergic to the skins, once a month on average.

While I was sent one of these as part of Oxo's Salad Prep Kit  - I've owned one for years, and this is my genuine opinion - hand on vodka heart.

I was interested to try the Avocado Slicer.  It's one of those things I've long coveted (largely because it would add to my matching collection of Oxo utensils), but never really 'needed'.

That said, I am just a little bit in love with it.

The past week's meals have been accompanied by food art - fanned, perfectly equal slices of avocado.  Thankfully, impressive to my easily amused lot.  Because it's pretty much all I've got by way of food art skills.  I did attempt to make a face out of salad items and it was a massive failure.

So fanned avocado slices are going to be my thing from now on.

With zero accompaniments.  Because, in addition to my new status as someone who does food art, I'm also lazy now a minimalist.

Another new favourite from the collection is the Salad Dressing Shaker.  I am all smug domestic goddess when I can whip up my own salad dressing without muttering shed words about the plate that ends up with the oily salad, and the one with the tart vinegar/lemon that has split away from the oil.

Just don't forget to ensure you have sealed the top before showing off in front of your family and pretending you're tossing cocktails in a bar and not a DIY salad dressing in your kitchen.....

That lesson was followed by actually using the same shaker to mix a cocktail, just to be a smart arse and improve my mood, having spent 15 minutes cleaning oily salad dressing from the entire kitchen surface.

Salad Dressing Shaker slash Mojito Maker!

Mostly Mojito Maker, to be honest.



Thanks to World Kitchen, I have an Oxo Salad Prep Kit to give away, containing

  • Salad Spinner (a carousel for your lettuce, fun!)
  • Swivel Peeler (total life changer)
  • 12 inch tongs (excellent butt pincher)
  • Avocado Slicer (my new love)
  • Salad Dressing Shaker (come cocktail maker - A Two-fer : handy space saver when packing for a picnic!)



Entries close midnight (WST) Friday 19th December



The Fine Print
  • Entries open 0500 (WST) Friday 12th December 
  • Entries close midnight (WST) Friday 19th December
  • Entry is open to Australian residents only
  • Only entrants who have completed the entry form above will be deemed eligible
  • Prize issued by World Kitchen
  • Winner will be announced on Facebook
  • Winner has seven (7) days to respond, before I shake up some cocktails, down a platter of pretty avocado slices, and conduct a re-draw.





Monday, December 8, 2014

World Kitchen and Corelle - Weekend winning and a giveaway

Weekends are tough.

Not only am I required to parent The Feral Threesome ALL DAY on account of teachers not being tough enough to handle them 7 days a week, but I also have to cook for them.

OMG with the hunger.  Always with the hunger.

Saturday night I cracked it.

I'd had enough. 

I'd had enough of being treated like a short order cook, and also, I'd had enough wine.

Enough wine to serve this up as dinner.





The small plate is for the rest of the family.

Deliberately placed only one profiterole on their shared plate, so that they could go head to head in a fight to the death with #1Hubby over who scored it.

The big plate is mine because I made them.

Plus I really felt, at the time, that it perfectly conveyed my level of disdain over my outrageous short order cook treatment, in a totally appropriate passive aggressive manner.

And, wine.  I was wine hungry.  Eat all of the things.  Extra points for cream or cheese.

Winning!

Since this post is supposed to be about the plates - aside from my genius, please also note the delightful yet simple pattern on the Corelle dinnerware, and also the convenient range of dish sizes.

Perfect for sticking the virtual middle finger to your family, with a visual dash of understated elegance.

Winning again!

Our backwards dinner saw dessert followed by some hastily microwaved pizza, when #1Hubby realised I was not kidding about the meal, and was not about to plate up a nutritious, delicious, filling main course that everyone deemed acceptable.

Also served on the Corelle Brushed Dinnerware collection in Platinum Silver.

Because I am all about the fancy when dining on microwaved frozen pizza.

With added cheese.  More winning!

The kids were a delight following their incredibly unhealthy dinner.  They were a mix of sugar high and apprehensive about when the punch line to what was clearly a set up would occur.

Caged animals.  It was a little like observing three caged animals who were elated yet slightly anxious.

Or so I imagine.

If you are dying of jealousy over my weekend winning of understated elegance, wine and microwaved pizza - then covet no more!

Thanks to World Kitchen, I have a Corelle Brushed Dinnerware collection to give away.




Entries close midnight (WST) Sunday 14th December




The fine print
  • Entry is open to Australian residents only
  • Entries open 5am (WST) Monday 8th December
  • Entries close midnight (WST) Sunday 14th December
  • Only entrants who have completed all sections of the entry form will be eligible
  • One prize of a Corelle Brushed Dinnerware set will be forwarded to the winner by World Kitchen Australia
  • Winner will be announced on Facebook Monday 15th December
  • Winner has seven (7) days to respond before I use the really big plate to drown my sorrows in a cheese platter, accompanied by the really big bowl filled with wine.  And then conduct a redraw.  Obviously.



Now I am off to seek an invite to Tiffany the Tipsy Hostess' next dinner party.  Judging by this, she looks like my kind of girl.

 


Check out the Corelle YouTube and Facebook pages dedicated to Tiffany's shenanigans and tips.


Fist Bump, Tiffany.


And also Corelle, for creating an affordable range of dinnerware that I will not break, despite my best (wine consumption) and worst (poorly co-ordination) efforts.





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