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Friday, July 19, 2013

FFS!? Friday : Muuuuuummm!


Image Credit
 I'll take one in every colour



After 2 weeks of school holidays I am completely over the constant whining of MUUUUMMM!  FFS!?

Each child has a niche.  They either take turns endlessly whining MUUUUMMM! or they do it all at once in a totally non-melodic way.  FFS!?

Mstr4's thing is food.

He's spent the past 2 weeks eating for Australia.  Almost every time he's opened his mouth, it's been to whine for food.  FFS!?

At one point - immediately after eating his lunch - he was all MUUUUMMM (that word again) I'M HUUUNNGGGRRRRRYYYYYYY....  

At my wits end and with nothing but packets of pasta and tins of tomatoes in my pantry, I told him to go eat the raw spaghetti if he was soooo huuunnnngggggrrrryyyyy!

And he did.

Half a packet before I caught him.

The only single time he listens to me.  FFS!?

There goes dinner.  FFS!? 

Miss4 has been all about the close body contact - as in....

MUUUUMMM CAN I LICK YOUR FACE?....NO?....OK I WILL.....*slurp*

MUUUUMMM CAN I TOUCH YOUR NOZZIE?.....*insert finger up my nose before waiting for a reply*

MUUUUMMM CAN I SIT ON YOUR HEAD (while laying in bed)?....*insert perfectly timed fart*

Such a gem.  I best enrol her in deportment classes immediately if there's to be any hope of her turning into some semblance of a lady, lest she never ever pair up with a boy (please let it be one of Britney's boys, please let it be one of Britney's boys), and instead spend the rest of my/her days living at home and farting on my head.  FFS!?

As for Miss7, well she's been all woe is me these holidays, so her whines are extra nasal and desperate....

MUUUUMMM I'M SOOOO BORED!  WHAT?  (read/draw/paint/ride bike/play with toys/play game/any-freaking-thing) NO! I CAN'T DO THAT!? OMG MUUUUMMM!!!

MUUUUMMM MISS4 IS LOOKING AT ME!  MAKE HER STOP!  DON'T LOOK AT ME *insert bitch slap fight between the loving sisters*

MUUUUMMM I'M BORED AND MAKE THE TWINNIES STOP IT!  WHAT?  EVERYTHING!

She's really quite delightful.  I swear.


You'd think, given my lack of immediate action to fix whatever is irritating them, they'd be all over #1Hubby when he gets home from work, in the hope of more satisfactory resolutions.

But no, it's as if he's not there.  As if he's invisible to them.  Because they'd rather climb all over me and scream in my ear while I'm in the toilet than bother their father on the lounge.  FFS!?

Thinking I was incredibly clever, I threatened them with zero giftage from the US if they whined MUUUUMMM at me one more time.

Displaying their superior smarts, they immediately switched to GEORGIAAAAA.  FFS!?


15 comments:

  1. That does my head in - their father is in the kitchen cooking something and I walk in the door and they come racing up to me and ask me what's for dinner??!!
    Or he's watching tv and they start yelling at me in the bath to get them a blanket...what is that????

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  2. We never told my mom we were bored or she would find us something to do...pulling weeds was her favorite boredom cure

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  3. Yes, it's been a shocker... I had four kids here for three weeks and one teen is as bad with the muuuummmm as the twins are. Did I mention I have only seen my husband for three and a half weeks in the past 4 months..FFS!!!

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  4. I feel your pain - I have had kids banging on the door while I'm in the shower asking for stuff, when their father is sitting right there on the couch doing nothing - why the hell can't they ask him?! School holidays are still going here, almost two weeks but feels more like two months!

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  5. That is too funny! Mine aren't at school yet but I sure do cop enough of it! MUMMMMMM can we have a toy??? In the middle of the shopping centre. NO!!! Followed by a tantrum...FFS!!!

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  6. Mu kid is constantly hungry too! I thought she might have had worms or something!

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  7. I'm soooo over the MUUUUMMMM - I run and hide but they always find me! I even changed my name to dad and it made no difference!

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  8. Same here! We can all be sitting at the same dinner table, and I get asked "mum, what did dad just say/do?" Seriously, he's right beside you!!!!

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  9. Yeah they always love there mother most - damn it! I don't miss those days at all. Or the whining that 'my leg hurts' or 'my bottom's itchy' or 'there are things crawling in my hair!!'

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  10. Good thing I'm going to have at least a year before this baby learns to say mum. Until then I will just have to deal with the joys of incessant crying.

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  11. what is it with boys and never been able to fill them up? I hear the same thing all day long..."mum, I'm Hungry" even when we have just finished eating!
    Was reading.... "MUUUUMMM CAN I SIT ON YOUR HEAD (while laying in bed)?....*insert perfectly timed fart*" and nearly fell off my bed with laughter. Gosh she is a gem :)

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  12. The shirt made me laugh - I totally need to get it for Mr 19!!

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  13. It must be a universal thing - K would also wait for me to be busy with something and then come and ask me to do something for her / get her something / help her with something - when A is sitting there, quietly minding his own business - why she never when to ask him I was never able to fathom out but if you ever find out the reason why, please let me know, I would love to know even if it is a few years too late !!! Having said that she still comes and asks me stuff that I have absolutely no idea about but she knows full well A knows exactly what she is talking about !!! Go figure !
    Have the best day (and if I could have a couple of those T-shirts I would really appreciate them and put them to good use !!!)
    Me

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  14. Kids! there always like that we have to tolerate and adopt to these kind of situations.

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